Rush - What to NOT do or say

[WCsweet<3]

PLEASE do not ask how we choose members, how we vote, how you can come back, how initiation works or anything along those lines!

[wmu_aoii]

If you are truly excited about a sorority you've visited, and you would LOVE to be invited back, express these feelings to whoever you're talking to before you leave that house. Let her know that you're excited to come back and get to see more of the house and meet more of her sisters. If she didn't really connect too well with you, your enthusiasm could boost your chances! Don't take it overboard, but be sure to get your point across! Any girl would rather invite back a PNM who wants to be an ABC rather than just "Greek".

[bostongreek]

Originally Posted by wmu_aoii

If you are truly excited about a sorority you've visited, and you would LOVE to be invited back, express these feelings to whoever you're talking to before you leave that house. Let her know that you're excited to come back and get to see more of the house and meet more of her sisters. If she didn't really connect too well with you, your enthusiasm could boost your chances! Don't take it overboard, but be sure to get your point across! Any girl would rather invite back a PNM who wants to be an ABC rather than just "Greek".

however, bear in mind that there is a fine line between "interested" in "creepy'

[wmu_aoii]

That's why I said don't take it overboard.

[wmu_aoii]

I liked this quote from "Sorority Wars" on Lifetime, and I think it would have helped me if I had heard it before I rushed last year.

"Make sure you like what they stand for, because soon, you're about to stand for it too."

It's completely normal for good looks and big houses to sway your opinions on a chapter - we're all human - but just make sure that beyond the perfectly sculpted updos and white-picket fences, you can see a potential lifelong sisterhood with those girls. Looks fade, houses age - but sisterhood is forever.

[lilb]

I just said that I was involved on campus in a few activities and it seemed like some of the houses didn't think I would have time to be in a sorority. How do I show that I am involved on campus but that I am also really wanting to be a part of their sorority?

[MUSK81]

I'm really enjoying this thread - it has a lot of good advice for PNMs. But if I could give collegians some advice ...
I know some of the PNMs sometimes talk out of turn or come off like they're too stupid to live, but please, try not to judge them too harshly at first. Most of them are just 18 and away from home for the first time and aren't as poised and confident as they like to think they are. Many girls, like the ones at my school, are first generation college students who know little of Greek life or have friends or relatives to guide them. A girl may run her mouth too much from nerves, wear too much eyeliner or whatever, but unless she's wildly inappropriate, give her at least a second chance. She may be more poised the second time around and allow you to see her as a potential sister. If not, well, that's what second cuts are for. But a little consideration can go a long way and help your chapter gain some really great girls they might not have gotten otherwise.

[ASUADPi]

Originally Posted by MUSK81

I'm really enjoying this thread - it has a lot of good advice for PNMs. But if I could give collegians some advice ...
I know some of the PNMs sometimes talk out of turn or come off like they're too stupid to live, but please, try not to judge them too harshly at first. Most of them are just 18 and away from home for the first time and aren't as poised and confident as they like to think they are. Many girls, like the ones at my school, are first generation college students who know little of Greek life or have friends or relatives to guide them. A girl may run her mouth too much from nerves, wear too much eyeliner or whatever, but unless she's wildly inappropriate, give her at least a second chance. She may be more poised the second time around and allow you to see her as a potential sister. If not, well, that's what second cuts are for. But a little consideration can go a long way and help your chapter gain some really great girls they might not have gotten otherwise.

This is wonderful advice.


It's like the old saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover". That applies to both PNM's and to the actives.

[MUSK81]

OK, what exactly is RFM? I've seen it on other threads and was wondering. It must be something relatively new - in my day we still had "coke dates" where members would meet one-on-one with PNMs for coffee, a soda or whatever. Nowadays, that's considered dirty rushing at most schools.

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Originally Posted by MUSK81

OK, what exactly is RFM? I've seen it on other threads and was wondering. It must be something relatively new - in my day we still had "coke dates" where members would meet one-on-one with PNMs for coffee, a soda or whatever. Nowadays, that's considered dirty rushing at most schools.

RFM stands for "release figures method". its the new method from NPC for
determining the number of PNMs that a chapter must release or fliping it .. the maximum number of PNMs that a chapter can invite for a specified round of formal recruitment.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MUSK81

OK, what exactly is RFM? I've seen it on other threads and was wondering. It must be something relatively new - in my day we still had "coke dates" where members would meet one-on-one with PNMs for coffee, a soda or whatever. Nowadays, that's considered dirty rushing at most schools.

If the school has deferred rush, this wouldn't be considered dirty rushing. If it is, the school is using the concept of deferred rush incorrectly. The only time things like that should be "illegal" at a DR school is while rush itself is going on.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by lilb

I just said that I was involved on campus in a few activities and it seemed like some of the houses didn't think I would have time to be in a sorority. How do I show that I am involved on campus but that I am also really wanting to be a part of their sorority?

Unless you said "I spend every night at the newspaper office" or "I have practice for basketball 3 times a day" a sorority who would cut you for that is idiotic. Most sororities ENCOURAGE or even COMPEL their members to be in other extracurricular activities.

[Ooh La La]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Unless you said "I spend every night at the newspaper office" or "I have practice for basketball 3 times a day" a sorority who would cut you for that is idiotic. Most sororities ENCOURAGE or even COMPEL their members to be in other extracurricular activities.

I don't know about other sororities, but in my chapter it's actually REQUIRED that you have at least two extracurriculars as a new member and at least one once you're initiated.

[lyrelyre]

Originally Posted by MUSK81

I'm really enjoying this thread - it has a lot of good advice for PNMs. But if I could give collegians some advice ...
I know some of the PNMs sometimes talk out of turn or come off like they're too stupid to live, but please, try not to judge them too harshly at first. Most of them are just 18 and away from home for the first time and aren't as poised and confident as they like to think they are. Many girls, like the ones at my school, are first generation college students who know little of Greek life or have friends or relatives to guide them. A girl may run her mouth too much from nerves, wear too much eyeliner or whatever, but unless she's wildly inappropriate, give her at least a second chance. She may be more poised the second time around and allow you to see her as a potential sister. If not, well, that's what second cuts are for. But a little consideration can go a long way and help your chapter gain some really great girls they might not have gotten otherwise.

This can be one of the frustrations with RFM. I know that my chapter is required to release nearly half of the PNMs after the first round. Every year, I know that we are releasing young ladies that would make fabulous new members based on first impressions. However, that’s why educating these young women is important. In recruitment especially, you really may never get a “second chance to make a first impression.”

[mgzxadpi]

as far as what not to talk about, we have the 5 b's:

-Booze
-Boys
-Bible
-Barack
-Bank Accounts