dating a frat boy

LilBlueEyes · #1 06-08-2007, 10:07 PM

hi everyone, i just wanted to ask a quick question about dating a frat boy...i'm new to the sorority scene.

at the end of last semester i "dated" a frat boy, a fellow frosh, for about 6 weeks and met his family when they came to visit, we were hot and heavy for those few weeks- seeing each other most days, going to sports games together, went on one real dinner date, and met each other friends, going to our formals...

but he's an architect and he joked that between pledging and me his grade would be in shambles (and in the end they did kinda suck)

but now it's summer break and i just wanted to know what frat boys thought about commitment to one girl, and how to go about rejuvenating dating next semester since we won't be in the same dorm building anymore, and if i should say something along the lines of "i've always had a good time hanging out with you, and wanted to know what you think of dating exclusively, and if we're seeing each other so much again this semester that it does affect your grades...just let me know" ? and any other tapes on how to deal with the hyper socialization of constant mixers, pertying, etc. how often is good to see each other without becoming attached at the hip?

thanks!

Engelwood · #2 06-08-2007, 10:59 PM

Well, each person is different but I'll tell you what I know. I'm a fraternity man, but I don't consider myself any different than your average guy other than the morals and convictions I hold dear.

I've never really had a problem staying committed. If it feels good, then go for it. You'll know if he feels the same way. My advice would be to stay in touch though the facebook, on the phone, or whatever you guys do.

If he's a stand up individual then you guys will be fine. Even if you don't stay together, don't get emo and paint all fraternity men with the same brush. In my opinion, the Greek system is like a microcosm of the greater population. You'll have your share off morons, but there are good people out there.

Be sure to tell him how you feel as simply as you can. As I man I can confidently say that we're not mind readers.

#3 06-08-2007, 11:15 PM

You could start by NOT calling him a "frat boy".

James · #4 06-09-2007, 03:55 AM

Frat boy = human being. So its pretty much the same as other boys.

One real date? Maybe have higher expectations of how you should be treated. Hanging out is not the same as dating.

rufio · #5 06-09-2007, 01:45 PM

frat boy's are all cookie cutter right? therefore we should all the same uniform answer to her question.

AlexMack · #6 06-09-2007, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rufio

frat boy's are all cookie cutter right? therefore we should all the same uniform answer to her question.

Yes...yes you are :P

WVU alpha phi · #7 06-10-2007, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

One real date? Maybe have higher expectations of how you should be treated. Hanging out is not the same as dating.

Agreed, but she mentioned they're freshman.. I think most freshman year relationships consist of hanging out in dorms and going out/meeting up at the bar, unless you happened to be dating an older guy.

LilBlueEyes · #8 06-10-2007, 07:40 PM

hey everyone, thanks for your responses...and to the last one, i'm also an alpha phi

thanks sister. and yeah, all frosh year relationships seem to be like ours, and also ones in where neither person has a car which can suckk

so we've been talking, about once a week...keeping in touch, so all's good i guess

sorry, shouldn't have used term "Frat boy" i did that because i was wondering if him and i being greek, and extremely social people would put extra tension on a relationship...??

oh and his parents have decided that he's not allowed to take his car to school next year...he has a little sister who will be using it to drive herself and their little brother to high school since both parents work...awesome

but i will have a car next year....would it be awkward if i picked him up when we went out to dinner? i mean, his house is on my way ... would this bother guys?

oh and is there any way to go about rekindling dating...like inviting him over to watch heroes (which was something we did every week last semester) and seeing how it goes from there? or just see how he acts at parties/ mixers?

cheerfulgreek · #9 06-11-2007, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

Frat boy = human being. So its pretty much the same as other boys.

One real date? Maybe have higher expectations of how you should be treated. Hanging out is not the same as dating.

I totally agree.

ladygreek · #10 06-12-2007, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

You could start by NOT calling him a "frat boy".

That was my first reaction!

LilBlueEyes · #11 06-13-2007, 12:49 AM

thanks for the imput guys...and yeah, he made the comment about me affecting his grades the nigth before his advanced calc exam

one last question

the boy and i talked over im two sundays ago and the end of our convo went:

me: well, i have to run, dinner with the girls, call me sometime?
him: yeah
him: Have fun, ttyl

...

and exactly one week later, after no call yet, i come home to find some ims from him saying "hey you there?...no response, so guess not...but, call me sometime! good night"

why in the friggen world would he tell me to call him, after he promised to call me and failed to do so?

i know his ex of over two years did a number on him and took him on a rollercoaster ride of a relationship...but it's not that hard to pick up a phone...

Kevin · #12 06-13-2007, 12:59 AM

It's clear you have decided against most of the advice offered to you here

Good luck with your frat boy.

PeppyGPhiB · #13 06-13-2007, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilBlueEyes

and exactly one week later, after no call yet, i come home to find some ims from him saying "hey you there?...no response, so guess not...but, call me sometime! good night"

why in the friggen world would he tell me to call him, after he promised to call me and failed to do so?

i know his ex of over two years did a number on him and took him on a rollercoaster ride of a relationship...but it's not that hard to pick up a phone...

Do you still not get it?

If he liked you, he'd call you. He'd pursue you. Look behind you...is there anyone chasing you?

I probably should not be giving you anymore advice since you seem to be ignoring everything that everyone on here has told you, but it just drives me nuts to see women act this way. Stop making up excuses for why the guy *might* not be calling you, taking you out, etc. A guy that likes you in a serious way will do more than leave you lame IMs. I mean, doesn't it make you pissed that he doesn't even think you're worth a phone call? Cut this guy off!

vamback · #14 06-11-2007, 12:03 AM

Ok, I am a girl that has done plenty of dating. To be honest, the way I look at relationships is, if a guy breaks up with you once, and even calls back apologizes sometimes, well most of the time, you should not get back with them. It makes them think that they can just do whatever they want and walk all over you. Believe me, no matter who you are, you deserve better then that. Like a guy previously said, college kids have tons of time, he would make time for you if he really wanted to. This is one of those situations you have to take as a learning experience and move on-and don't let guys screw you over like that. If you have standards-you will find the right person for you.

LilBlueEyes · #15 06-11-2007, 01:16 AM

but we never broke up....he just told one of my friends i was clingy...and i was like w/e if he likes me he'll call me and he did