Disaffiliation

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Just because there are pictures of you out and about doesn't necessarily mean you're spending money there. I recall many times when people would be drinking pop or water at the bars simply because they were too broke for anything alcoholic, and their cover charge was paid with coins dug out of the couch.

I know there are those people who are doing what you say, but please don't paint everyone with the same brush.

(This argument would be more foolproof if we were discussing men instead of women, incidentally. )

And this is where Honor Board/Standards should have a chat with the young lady to discern the facts and advise her on this behaviour.

We once had a young lady who was continual in arrears financially and told us the family was having difficulties. PH put on an event where fraternity men auctioned off their help - yard work, car washing, cooking dinner, etc - for philanthropy. I had to send our president over to this lady to tell her she had bid/bought her last auction item or I'd see her in Honor Board. She had money - it's her priorities that were the problem.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Titchou

We once had a young lady who was continual in arrears financially and told us the family was having difficulties. PH put on an event where fraternity men auctioned off their help - yard work, car washing, cooking dinner, etc - for philanthropy. I had to send our president over to this lady to tell her she had bid/bought her last auction item or I'd see her in Honor Board. She had money - it's her priorities that were the problem.

This sounds like a bad Buzzfeed* article. "I Got Kicked Out Of My Sorority Because I Bought A TKE To Do My Laundry. "

*Redundant.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by 33girl

This sounds like a bad Buzzfeed* article. "I Got Kicked Out Of My Sorority Because I Bought A TKE To Do My Laundry. "

*Redundant.

33, I think you should write it! There have been some doozies lately, and I suspect you are up to the task

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Just because there are pictures of you out and about doesn't necessarily mean you're spending money there. I recall many times when people would be drinking pop or water at the bars simply because they were too broke for anything alcoholic, and their cover charge was paid with coins dug out of the couch.

I know there are those people who are doing what you say, but please don't paint everyone with the same brush.

(This argument would be more foolproof if we were discussing men instead of women, incidentally. )

Please don't generalize my comment. I was speaking of specific (former) members. And give advisors some credit: we don't make judgements from photos. The photos lead to an investigation of those members. It was proven that they had chosen to spend discretionary income on nice dinners and partying, rather than paying dues. They were sent to standards and relieved of their memberships. And this wasn't a one off- it was a pattern over several months.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

Please don't generalize my comment. I was speaking of specific (former) members. And give advisors some credit: we don't make judgements from photos. The photos lead to an investigation of those members. It was proven that they had chosen to spend discretionary income on nice dinners and partying, rather than paying dues. They were sent to standards and relieved of their memberships. And this wasn't a one off- it was a pattern over several months.

This!

[Sen's Revenge]

I have noticed this among some LGLOs and MCGLOs also, but not so much BGLOs.

[aggieAXO]

I personally think finances play a huge roll in women leaving. I work with many younger veterinarians that are six figures in debt and will be this way for many years to come. The enormous debt will have a say in every aspect of their lives, from getting married to even having children. Tuition continues to rise and financial aid continues to diminish. I can see very tough times ahead for some of these organizations as I think some students will have to decide on whether it is worth taking out more loans to join.

[AGDee]

AGD did a study around retention and contacted members who had resigned for various reasons to find out the real reasons, several years later. Finance is the easy excuse to quit because nobody can really say no to it, especially if you just stop paying dues. In most cases, you will find the time and money to do something that is bringing value to your life. If the organization is meeting your expectations, you find a way to make it work. Are we selling (in recruitment) something that we are not providing (in the real experience as a member)?

I have, frankly, not seen retention issues in "healthy" chapters. Retention issues require a better look at the chapter as a whole, assessing whether we are meeting their needs/expectations and adapting if we are not (if possible).

In my day, when a member's parent was laid off, the rest of us all kicked in a few bucks to pay her dues. That was sisterhood.

[AZTheta]

FSUZeta - I'd add to the list of "priorities":

paying for spray tans, manicures/pedicures/hair coloring/clothing/shoes/purses/jewelry (all high end name brands),weekend trips to Vegas,daily Starbucks drinks, etc - but sorority dues? Nope.

I saw it all and then some.

No concept of budget. No concept of financial priorities and obligations. It's all form, no substance.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

FSUZeta - I'd add to the list of "priorities":

paying for spray tans, manicures/pedicures/hair coloring/clothing/shoes/purses/jewelry (all high end name brands),weekend trips to Vegas,daily Starbucks drinks, etc - but sorority dues? Nope.

I saw it all and then some.

No concept of budget. No concept of financial priorities and obligations. It's all form, no substance.

Absolutely!

[*winter*]

All of the obligations have to take a toll on sisters who have to work to support themselves and pay dues.

[shadokat]

A lot of this points systems and obligatory items, none of this existed back in the 90s for me. But I will say that when I was a new member, we were at the house every night for NM events and all day on the weekends. Was that ridiculous? You bet your ass it was, but I was certainly more prepared for participation after my new member period was over than women these days who do like 6 new member meetings (1 a week) and a couple random events. And for the record, I don't think you need to haze women to get them to come to things or stay. But the commitment to be a member has to be established early, or you're once they are initiated members, they're going to be like, "whoa, wait! I didn't sign up for spending 4 nights a week doing sorority".