COB and how these bids work! - Page 3

FSUZeta · #31 01-24-2015, 09:01 PM

Look at it this way....you don't have 48 hours to accept or decline a bid during formal recruitment. You do have that luxury in informal.

Life doesn't offer guarantees. There is no guarantee that attending the university you chose to attend is the absolute best choice for you. There is no guarantee that the major you choose will enable you to have a successful career. There is no guarantee that you will love what you do for a living. There is no guarantee that you will get married. There is no guarantee that if you get married you will have a successful marriage. I could go on and on, but you get my drift.

Accept the bid to the sorority you like or don't. Membership in a sorority is like life itself- it is what you make of it.

They gave you 48 hours to make up your mind. They could have demanded a decision right then, but they want you to join, so they gave you time to think things over. Use that time wisely, but don't overthink it. You can drive yourself crazy.

ladybug12 · #32 01-24-2015, 09:27 PM

FSUZeta, I totally agree with you because I see the sorority's side of it...we have a few open spots so we are going to go out right away and bid the top women out there. I know that does not work with a PNM's wish to sit back and evaluate all possible options...but that is the nature of COB.

I work with several chapters who are currently pledging new members through COB and I always urge them to be agressive rather than wait weeks or string along 3-4 events before bidding their new women.

robinseggblue · #33 01-24-2015, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm not sure why these sororities are trying to buffalo women into signing a bid before they're ready when they know full well there are other events going on.

If campus doesn't have a formal informal recruitment... no one should blame sororities for being on top of their game. Early birds get the best worms.

As for giving 48 hours...that's the max allowed to be given to a PNM to decide on COB bid at my campus... it comes from Panhellenic. Wouldn't come as a surprise if it's a NPC standard at other campi.

Titchou · #34 01-25-2015, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by c0nfusedpnm

Are sororities that have COB in the Spring under the assumption that girls going through went through formal rush and dropped? So they think they already know the houses and are already positive who they're rushing is who they want to join?

Not necessarily, They know who went thru and who didn't.

pinksequins · #35 01-25-2015, 01:19 AM

Confused, your posts indicate that meeting as many houses as possible is very important to you. Your choice sounds more like one between informal now or formal in the Fall. Choosing the latter means just looking at groups now with the goal of pursuing a bid in the Fall. You do not sound at all comfortable with the bid in front of you because you haven't seen the houses. If that is truly the case, decline and go see as many houses as possible now and look for a bid next year. The current houses may or may not consider you next year, but if you graciously decline with, "Thank you, but I have decided instead to go through formal recruitment next fall since I missed it this year" you won't burn bridges. You can still visit houses. Then be friendly to every member in the two houses that you encounter -- always wave or say hi. Make every effort to meet women in all of the sororities so that you are better prepared in the Fall. Stop worrying about recruitment structure as that is a pointless worry.

Alpha O · #36 01-25-2015, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by c0nfusedpnm

Are sororities that have COB in the Spring under the assumption that girls going through went through formal rush and dropped? So they think they already know the houses and are already positive who they're rushing is who they want to join?

Sororities would not be under the assumption that girls doing informal recruitment went through formal recruitment and dropped. They would remember you from formal recruitment, since chapters tend to keep track of those things.

If a PNM is going through informal recruitment, the burden is on the PNM to familiarize herself with the chapters and figure out where the best place for her would be. I cannot speak for anyone at your campus, but I can say that I was under the impression that PNMs who came to our informal events were at least reasonably sure that our chapter would be the best match for them. Having said that, I must admit that my chapter only extended informal bids to PNMs who were already friends with sisters. Because of this, we also knew that the sisters we gave informal bids to were only rushing our chapter, whether they had done formal recruitment in the past or not.

ConfusedPNM, no one here can tell you what to do and I urge you to consider what is best for you and go with the decision you won't regret. From reading your posts, you don't seem comfortable accepting your either of the bids you received without giving the other chapters consideration. That's my impression from reading your posts. If that's the case, I hope that you can find a gracious way of phrasing the fact that you will be declining a bid from a sorority that you may still be interested in becoming a part of in the future and that you eventually find your home.

33girl · #37 01-25-2015, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

In response to why the first two sororities have already offered bids, they may have only a few spots to fill and want the pick of the crop. Why should they have to accommodate those sororities that chose not to hold parties a week later?

I got the impression from the OP's posts that these were full blown events inviting many rushees, not a situation where the sorority had 2-3 spots that could have quickly been filled by friends of sisters with little fanfare. If that's the case and they choose to have multiple large events for so few spots, they are extraordinarily inefficient.

DeltaBetaBaby · #38 01-25-2015, 09:04 PM

OP, do you know nothing about the sororities from the fall semester? Have you met women in some of them? Have you seen them involved in activities that are important to you? Etc. I know this is all happening fast, but also try to use whatever information you have from prior to IR.

pinksequins · #39 01-26-2015, 09:59 PM

Confused, good luck with your decisions. We understand if you want to remain mum until informal is over.

Titchou · #40 02-01-2015, 09:08 AM

All chapters have some nice girls and you will like women in all of them. Formal recruitment is an entirely different experience. You won't have time to just visit around and have less structured conversations. It will be rapid and you'll be herded thru. Whether or not that environment allows one to feel a stronger connection, who knows. You are the only one who can answer your questions. We can't.

SoCalGirl · #41 02-01-2015, 09:59 AM

If you aren't "feeling it" with the chapters you've met so far, there's nothing wrong with not accepting a bid and going through formal. Just be sure to politely decline and let the chapters know that you plan to go through formal.

Your chances of getting a bid as a sophomore will vary largely based on your school. If your willing to go through the stress of formal and risk not getting a bid at all, go for it.

DubaiSis · #42 02-01-2015, 12:57 PM

If you go to school at an SEC or Big 10-type school, I would take the option you have in front of you. First, they take far fewer sophomores. Second, having 15 or 20 doesn't make it easier, it makes it harder. And thirdly, mutual selection is kind of bunk. In informal you have a huge say in your own process. In formal your say is to accept what you get or drop out. plus it it wildly impersonal. That it succeeds at all in making sororities work is kind of miraculous. Oh, and this way you get to start having fun NOW, not in 6 or 7 months.

But, as been said before, if you are going to continue to look for greener pastures and wonder if you could have been an Awesome Alpha and let it diminish your sorority experience then you should wait.

als463 · #43 02-01-2015, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

If you go to school at an SEC or Big 10-type school, I would take the option you have in front of you. First, they take far fewer sophomores. Second, having 15 or 20 doesn't make it easier, it makes it harder. And thirdly, mutual selection is kind of bunk. In informal you have a huge say in your own process. In formal your say is to accept what you get or drop out. plus it it wildly impersonal. That it succeeds at all in making sororities work is kind of miraculous. Oh, and this way you get to start having fun NOW, not in 6 or 7 months.

But, as been said before, if you are going to continue to look for greener pastures and wonder if you could have been an Awesome Alpha and let it diminish your sorority experience then you should wait.

I agree with everything DubaiSis said. It almost appears as though you are looking for a bigger-better-deal, OP. If you went to 2-5 houses and did not find a fit, I am thinking you may be really disappointed if you go through formal recruitment at an SEC or Big10 school. I say this with experience of recruitment at both types of schools. You might want to really sit down and think about why you want to go chase that bigger and better deal.

navane · #44 02-01-2015, 03:05 PM

OP, I'm concerned that you sound so hung-up on meeting all of the chapters - even though you readily admit the chapters you've already met have had nice girls and you've received TWO bids.

It sounds to me like you're waffling so much that you can't make a decision on the choices in front of you. I wouldn't want you to take a bid at COB and then spend your days staring over at another house wishing that maybe you could have been a member somewhere else. If it's going to bother you in the bottom of your heart and you will always wonder "what if", then, yes, my personal opinion is to go do formal recruitment. Just keep in mind that formal recruitment may or may not work out the way you had planned or hoped; BUT, at least you got to "meet all of the houses", right?

Sometimes in life, we have to put our big girl pants on and make the call and not rely on everyone else (ie. strangers on the internet) to tell us what we should do. YOU are the one who needs to make the final call.

pinksequins · #45 02-01-2015, 04:05 PM

Confused, Navane's advice is spot-on. Your posts suggest you may difficulty making choices with less than perfect information. That is going to be the case with most choices in life. Now that you have met upwards of 7 groups, you have seen a good cross-section of chapters. That none of them have spoken to you suggests that you are looking for something unrealistic. So your choice now is to politely decline and proceed with formal recruitment or take a good hard inward look and say, "You know, I am not going to be swept off my feet by any of them even in the fall because that only happens in Disney movies or to Reese Witherpoon and her pink chihuahua". Reread Navane's advice again as you decide.

Also, reread Dubaissis' distinction between informal and formal. You will meet all of the groups, but you will receive invitation lists prior to ensuing rounds. Those lists may not be houses with that woo-hoo feeling and may include many that you have seen now. They often won't match your listings (because it really is the chapters that hold the cards as to whom to invite again.) You also will be seeing them in a faster more structured setting.

I am wondering, have you not met any sorority women in your dorm or classes that help you form any opinion on a group?