Dating/trusting a frat boy?

[MysticCat]

Am I the only one getting a troll vibe?

PLG, if this is all for real, slow down and stop asking for advice from random people on the internet who don't know you, don't know him and don't know anything about this situation except the pieces you've provided. Talk to your real-life friends about it, instead.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by peacelovegreek

I can still back out of this, right? I mean, I've just seen one side of him. The nice, shy, sweet guy. I haven't seen him at a party or at least drunk. But even before yesterday, like during Homecoming, a lot girls would jump up and hug him. It just sucks have insecurities of a guy you're not technically dating. And am I total failure for going into his room with letters? I'm pretty sure he had an ulterior motive to do more than just kiss yesterday...

Originally Posted by peacelovegreek

Well thank you for answering the main bulk of my question!! But I guess I really just have to see for myself as to where this all goes.

Originally Posted by peacelovegreek

So I really just have to ask him to see what we are then.

Relax. Breathe. Live your life. If he calls or texts and wants to go out, and you want to go out, then do that. Personally, I wouldn't keep meeting at the house only. If he suggests coming to the house, try something like "I'm about to grab something to eat, want to come?" or some other activity that doesn't involve his room. Get to know him, make him get to know you. Breathe. Relax.

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Am I the only one getting a troll vibe?

PLG, if this is all for real, slow down and stop asking for advice from random people on the internet who don't know you, don't know him and don't know anything about this situation except the pieces you've provided. Talk to your real-life friends about it, instead.

No. The first few posts were like the same person conversing with itself.

And yes, ditto the second.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by IrishLake

No. The first few posts were like the same person conversing with itself.

I had that same thought.

[Splash]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Relax. Breathe. Live your life. If he calls or texts and wants to go out, and you want to go out, then do that. Personally, I wouldn't keep meeting at the house only. If he suggests coming to the house, try something like "I'm about to grab something to eat, want to come?" or some other activity that doesn't involve his room. Get to know him, make him get to know you. Breathe. Relax.

Exactly. Just relax and have fun like you were doing before.

And I've seen people ask girls to be their girlfriend. I'm early-20s.

[XAntoftheSkyX]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I had that same thought.

You weren't the only one.

>my face the entire time

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by peacelovegreek

A month ago, I met this boy in a fraternity that my sorority worked with during Homecoming and we got to know each other. I've heard from my sisters that he liked me. He's always been shy around me. Yesterday, I met up with him at the library and we headed over to his fraternity's house and we went to his room and I initially sat on the sofa instead of his bed where he sat down. Eventually I got up to look around his room and then sat down next to him. We talked for a good 15 minutes. Throughout that, he laid down on his bed and I was still sitting and it felt awkward so I propped my arm and leaned back. Eventually my arm gave out and I laid down next to him. And he put his around me and I turned to face him and he pulled me in closer and eventually we kissed...yeah! But we just kissed, that was it, NOTHING MORE! And of course his brothers thought otherwise when we walked of his room. And I have always put school first, so he is kind of like the first relationship I've had in a while (since high school and I'm a sophomore in college.) He never really officially asked me out or asked me to be his girlfriend so we're technically not dating. His fraternity is having a holiday party at their house but I'm flying home that weekend, so I can't go. Just being me, I'm having these insecurities because looking at the list of who's going, a good chunk are girls from different sororities or GDIs and a good portion are sisters which is good. I guess what I'm trying to say is, people who are greek, how do you deal with trusting someone to be "good" at parties. I mean we're dating and if he does hook up with a girl, it'd technically would be fine since we're not official...I feel really childish asking this but it has been eating up for a bit.

You seem to be confused as to whether or not you are "dating," which I assume means "having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship." If all you've done is kiss (and that was yesterday), and he hasn't indicated that you are a couple, haven't had "the talk" to discuss exclusivity, you really don't have any claim to him.

You have expectations of how he is to behave, but does he know this? Is there a mutual understanding?

Trying to enforce these expectations aren't fair if you haven't talked about any of this. So, either talk to him and find out where his head is at, or don't act like you're in an exclusive relationship and worry that he'll break your trust.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Personally, I wouldn't keep meeting at the house only. If he suggests coming to the house, try something like "I'm about to grab something to eat, want to come?" or some other activity that doesn't involve his room. Get to know him, make him get to know you. Breathe. Relax.

Agreed. If a guy was focused on me coming to his fraternity house/apartment all of the time and nothing else, combined with the fact that he keeps seeming to mention lying in bed as an activity he'd like to do, that would creep me out a little bit and lead me down the path of thinking he has other motives that may not be in my best interest...but that's just me!

[katydidKD]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

You're not in the same county as dating.

^this