Dating/trusting a frat boy? - Page 2

Greek_or_Geek? · #16 11-24-2011, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

#1. This is such a double standard and ridiculous in this day and age. Boys (and girls for that matter) are always going to lie, even if no one's room was involved in the least. I doubt that anyone is "thinking" about her at all...unless it's as...

#2. "OMG, all they did was suck face and now she thinks she's his girlfriend or something. Stalker alert!"

OP - some guys are the guy that every girl loves and who flirt with everyone. They are also usually the guys who when they DO fall, they fall hard. The closest way to completely ruin your chances with this man is by being paranoid. MC is right, you are NOWHERE NEAR dating. You sucked face. That was it. If you get all stalkery and paranoid, people ARE going to think you slept with him. Tell him to have fun at the party, and see where it goes when you both get back to school.

No one said it was fair. It's just the reality of the situation. People are going to gossip, but you don't need to hand it to them by going up to some guy's room.

peacelovegreek · #17 11-24-2011, 12:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Have we ascertained that this guy is never going to call her again because he didn't get to seal the deal? It seems like everyone's painting him to be a dick and I missed the part where she said he never talks to her any more because she sucked face with him.

Although WTF at walking you back to the library (unless there's a bus stop there or something).

Oh no, I had a study group to go to for a test I had today so he didn't want me walking back alone so he offered to walk me there.

ElieM · #18 11-24-2011, 12:09 AM

perhaps he's just shy. Maybe wait and see if you are actually dating before embarking on the psychological drama.

If he goes to a party and picks up another girl, then he's just not that into you. If he doesn't - well then, there's an answer as well.

33girl · #19 11-24-2011, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greek_or_Geek?

No one said it was fair. It's just the reality of the situation. People are going to gossip, but you don't need to hand it to them by going up to some guy's room.

And by continuing to bend to it, you continue to perpetuate it. I'm betting you never hear guys telling each other "OMG Justin, don't go up to a girl's room!" Live in the 1950s, whatever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by peacelovegreek

Oh no, I had a study group to go to for a test I had today so he didn't want me walking back alone so he offered to walk me there.

Oh ok, as long as it was where you had to be. I meant WTF at dumping you at the library when he should have walked you back to your house/apartment/dorm.

peacelovegreek · #20 11-24-2011, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElieM

perhaps he's just shy. Maybe wait and see if you are actually dating before embarking on the psychological drama.

If he goes to a party and picks up another girl, then he's just not that into you. If he doesn't - well then, there's an answer as well.

Well thank you for answering the main bulk of my question!! But I guess I really just have to see for myself as to where this all goes.

peacelovegreek · #21 11-24-2011, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

And by continuing to bend to it, you continue to perpetuate it. I'm betting you never hear guys telling each other "OMG Justin, don't go up to a girl's room!" Live in the 1950s, whatever.

Oh ok, as long as it was where you had to be. I meant WTF at dumping you at the library when he should have walked you back to your house/apartment/dorm.

Yeah I was pretty clear when I told him, "Okay I need to leave right NOW!" (I probably sounded like a total nerd for having to be at the library...bio major, what do you expect?)

ElieM · #22 11-24-2011, 12:19 AM

oh and I don't think I've been asked to be anyone's girlfriend since sixth grade

peacelovegreek · #23 11-24-2011, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElieM

oh and I don't think I've been asked to be anyone's girlfriend since sixth grade

Is that just saying no one really asks people out anymore? I'm sorry, I haven't been in a relationship since freshman year of high school because I was stupid and naive. But after that break up, I was focused on school and friends and had no time for a boyfriend.

ElieM · #24 11-24-2011, 12:28 AM

It was in relation to this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by peacelovegreek

He never really officially asked me out or asked me to be his girlfriend so we're technically not dating.

My husband and I neither "dated" nor "asked each other out", we mostly hung out and did stuff in groups. Just saying he may not have "asked you out" because it's not really something he or his bunch of friends do.

peacelovegreek · #25 11-24-2011, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElieM

It was in relation to this:

My husband and I neither "dated" nor "asked each other out", we mostly hung out and did stuff in groups. Just saying he may not have "asked you out" because it's not really something he or his bunch of friends do.

So I really just have to ask him to see what we are then.

33girl · #26 11-24-2011, 01:02 AM

OMG no. You made out with him once. Unless he's calling and texting you every day, having "the talk" now would send him screaming and running in the other direction.

peacelovegreek · #27 11-24-2011, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

OMG no. You made out with him once. Unless he's calling and texting you every day, having "the talk" now would send him screaming and running in the other direction.

He was texting me later that night after he walked me to the library and we texted today but yeah, he kinda kept asking if I was gonna come over to the house...but I had so much to do before I left for the airport to go home today. He kinda talked about how he wished I was lying in bed with him...Because that really sounds like a lasting relationship right there...

wareagle93 · #28 11-24-2011, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peacelovegreek

Is that just saying no one really asks people out anymore? I'm sorry, I haven't been in a relationship since freshman year of high school because I was stupid and naive. But after that break up, I was focused on school and friends and had no time for a boyfriend.

It depends where you live or go to school. I live far away from Auburn but from where I'm from people don't really ask other people out. Here in the south, more specifically Auburn, it's quite common. I asked my girlfriend to be my girlfriend after we hung out a few times/went to some football games together.

amIblue? · #29 11-24-2011, 01:34 PM

peacelovegreek

The best advice that I can give you is to please try to relax about the situation. You have not been branded with the scarlet letter because you went into a boy's room one time. If you're spending every night at a different fraternity house (which I don't believe you are), then that's a problem.

He may like you and want to date you. He may not. If you overthink this situation and start grilling him about what your relationship is, then you're definitely going to run him off. Just be friendly and see what develops.

peacelovegreek · #30 11-24-2011, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amIblue?

peacelovegreek

The best advice that I can give you is to please try to relax about the situation. You have not been branded with the scarlet letter because you went into a boy's room one time. If you're spending every night at a different fraternity house (which I don't believe you are), then that's a problem.

He may like you and want to date you. He may not. If you overthink this situation and start grilling him about what your relationship is, then you're definitely going to run him off. Just be friendly and see what develops.

Thank you so much for this advice!