Single ladies, how do you respond to "why aren't you married yet?"

[texas*princess]

I get this question a lot.... I'm 26. I've been getting it pretty much since I graduated 4 years ago.

With me there are a number of different factors that play into my singleness. For one, my job requires me to travel = A LOT = , sometimes for extended periods of time. So as you might imagine, it's hard to meet guys with a schedule like that.

Secondly, I have some pretty high expectations. I am successful & ambitious, and I expect my future husband to be the same, but most of the guys I've met like that are jerks.

Thirdly, I don't date random Joes off the street. I prefer to date guys that are "endorsed" by people I already know.

Lastly, I'm 26... seriously. I'm enjoying life and focusing on my career right now. I don't think I want kids in the future, so really I don't feel like I have a "biological clock" to worry about.

[aephi alum]

I feel your pain, except that in my case the question is, "When are you going to have a baby, already?!"

Good answer to "why aren't you married": "If and when I meet a man with whom I want to spend the rest of my life, then and only then will we get married."

Smartass answer: "I'm a lesbian."

[Dionysus]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Smartass answer: "I'm a lesbian."

I like "I can't get married in this state". Most people have no idea what you're talking about.

If I got married at my age, I would cheat on someone left and right. I don't see how many young people get married and stay faithful (the ones who do).

[cheerfulgreek]

A friend once told me that the person you marry will determine 90% of your happiness or 90% of your pain. Also, my education is my top priority right now, plus I would just stay single unless I met a guy who was a spiritual leader, faithful, respectful, honest, a good communicator, happy and very loving.

ETA: Oh, and I forgot to add, totally hot too.

[PhoenixAzul]

See, I've kinda gotten this from both corners. Because my fiance and I have dated for 6.5 years and counting, we got the "when ye gettin maaaaaaaaaaaried" from all the matriarchs for pretty much the last 3 years.

Then I tell people here in Scotland that I'm getting married at 23, and the go, "wow, you're so young! Why are you getting married?". Because it's not really a "thing" here to get married young. Yeah people do it, but it isn't like it is back home. Fewer people are getting married period because you've got civil partnership and domestic partnership and etc and you get a lot of the social benefits without having to be married (free healthcare is nation wide (I *heart* the NHS!), couples have an expectation of privacy in communication (although the protection is more solid in the case of marriage) etc.



Basically, opinions are like...you know the rest.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

"why are you so picky?"

"Because I saw the choice you made, and I really want to do better."

[LPIDelta]

The only question worse than "When are you getting married?" is "How is your husband?" when you are in the process of a divorce....

Get married when you feel its right in your bones--and not until then. This is not something to "settle" on.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

"Because I saw the choice you made, and I really want to do better."

That's funny. It's funny because I know that there are people I know who got married to the most awful guys just to have a wedding and say they got married, and I DON'T want to be like them. There's a girl I know who got married last summer (May 2007) to a guy who wasn't that great (controlling, mean, liked to drink alot) and this summer, she is finalizing her divorce. She's 22 and they didn't even make it a year. I know for certain that I don't want that.

Originally Posted by LPIDelta

The only question worse than "When are you getting married?" is "How is your husband?" when you are in the process of a divorce....

Ouch. That would hurt.

[SigKapSweetie]

Because unlike some people, I'm not willing to settle.

[MTSUGURL]

I got asked this by my aunt at my brother's wedding. My boyfriend had broken up with me just that Monday, I had been engaged to a man that treated me horrible prior to that, and my brother is 5 years younger than me. I told her, "Actually, my boyfriend just broke up with me, and that's a bit painful. Thanks for bringing up my singleness today, and now I'd just really like to go enjoy my brother's wedding."

Now, 6 years later, I very rarely get asked this question. I think a good bit of my family has given up on me. The last time someone asked, "When are you going to just get married already? You're 31!" I said, "I don't know. Why did you wear those shoes? They're hideous." Not exactly the height of wittiness or maturity, but they were horribly ugly and I wanted to be as rude as she was being.

I want to get married, I have a biological clock that is ticking; however, I refuse to settle for just anyone. I've been asked more than once, but each time I knew that if I married them it would end. Until someone asks me and I don't have that feeling, I will be single.

[LucyKKG]

[quote=MTSUGURL;1650688]"When are you going to just get married already? You're 31!" I said, "I don't know. Why did you wear those shoes? They're hideous." /quote]
HAHAHAHAH you're amazing!

[RaggedyAnn]

I am married, but you can adapt my answer to getting married after the age of 30-
I just skipped the first round. (because the divorce rate is 50%)

[GeekyPenguin]

I've been dating my boyfriend since my senior year of college and I just finished law school and have been getting this a LOT - including a classmate grabbing my hand during the ceremony to look for a ring. I've just started telling people it's because he doesn't love me.

[33girl]

I think it depends, too, who it's coming from. I give older people and people who grew up in my hometown slack on this question, mainly because getting married and popping out kids is all they know. They're not trying to be mean, they're honestly worried that you're miserable because you're not attached because they would be if they weren't.

And even where that's concerned...give it time...I hear this a LOT less from my family ever since my baby cousin married a jerk, divorced him and married another jerk....not to mention the skank hos my other cousin tends to bring around the house.

If I heard this from one of my coworkers or college friends though...I think f.o. would probably be one of the nicer things I'd say. They know the person I am now, and they should know better.

[MTSUGURL]

I sponsor a beautiful little girl in Africa, Mariam. Today I got a letter from her, and the last thing she asked me was, "Will you marry? When?"

She frequently asks hard questions, but this one cracked me up because I immediately thought of this thread.