deactivate?

[AGDee]

I also think this is a difficult time of year while in college. You've been going full force since September. The end of the semester is near but it seems so far away yet. And all those papers and tests between now and the end of the year! It can be overwhelming. I'm not sure what part of the country you're in, but if you're anywhere north, the rough weather is affecting people's moods too. You might as well stick it out this semester and see how you feel in the fall after you've been rejuvenated. It almost sounds like senioritis, early.

[DPhiEAlumna]

It's also a difficult transition when you don't live in the house and you don't feel connected to the sisters who live in the house. When you make the choice to affiliate with a sorority, you really are making a lifetime commitment to your sisterhood. I agree with the post that suggested you get more involved with the philanthropic endeavours of your chapter and international organization. Becoming disinterested in the "party" atmosphere happens a lot of juniors and seniors and you need to shift your focus in the sorority to other activities to keep building on the foundation you started in your first couple of semesters as an active.

[Katmandu]

Part of what you are experiencing is a natural pulling away and changing--after all, if you are maturing, you should have different priorities and interests as a 21 year old, than you did as an 18 year old.

As a junior and especially as a senior, my interests were not primarily fraternity mixers, pomping homecoming floats and rush skits--although I had truly loved all of those activities. By second semester of Jr. year, I was more focused on my major, campus activities and grad school applications. I began to spend more time with professors and students in my major, and a bit less time with my sorority sisters. My best friends from the chapter were married, student teaching, or had already graduated, and I didn't know many of the newer members well.

However, my last two years of sorority life were two of my most rewarding, and I would have missed a big chunk of what it meant to be in a sorority if I had ended it there.

Just as I looked up to the older girls in the house as a pledge and new initiate, I was shocked to realize that some of the new members were looking up to me. I began to spend time with a handful of them, serving as an informal "big sis" (you can never have too many!). They would drag me to a party when they thought I was becoming too serious, and I nagged them about making grades. Their excitement about initiation, fraternity guys, and "greek stuff" was contagious and fun. I ended up rooming with three of them when they moved into the house their sophomore year and my senior year, because it was more fun to be with them than on the quieter Senior Wing.

After college, I was not involved as an alum until about 30 years later, but now serve as a chapter advisor. I would NEVER have predicted that, but you never know what life is going to bring you.

If you are truly not interested, then turn in your pin.

But if you are feeling lonely and like a "stranger in a strange land" because your friends are gone and you are growing in different ways, then know that it is a natural feeling that you can help heal by adopting some new members and letting new people into your life, even if you think you already have enough friends. The new members need older members to support them, and you need them to remind you of why you joined in the first place.

Good luck with the rest of the semester!

[couggirl]

Originally Posted by Katmandu

\\Just as I looked up to the older girls in the house as a pledge and new initiate, I was shocked to realize that some of the new members were looking up to me. I began to spend time with a handful of them, serving as an informal "big sis" (you can never have too many!). They would drag me to a party when they thought I was becoming too serious, and I nagged them about making grades. Their excitement about initiation, fraternity guys, and "greek stuff" was contagious and fun. I ended up rooming with three of them when they moved into the house their sophomore year and my senior year, because it was more fun to be with them than on the quieter Senior Wing.
!

I just wanted to say how much I agree with this post. I graduated from college a few years ago and have many friends who are married and or have kids. I kind of get tired of hearing them talk about things I have no idea how to relate to. i love my friends, but get sooooo tired of talking about these things. This is, in part, why I volunteer with the teens at the Library. it is really great to have a group of 16-19 year old (close to adults than kids) that I can go and hang out with and goof off and not talk about margaged and having problems with kids and kids teachers, ect. It reminds me of how much fun the little things in life are and at the same time i really enjoy talking to them about college and school ect.

Also, I would have to agree that it might sound like the OP is a little depressed. This can easily happen and maybe it might help to do something new. I can get depressed eaily if I am constantly doing the same routine day after day.

Good luck

[violetpretty]

I am guessing that you'll have to pay for full dues for the semester regardless of whether you withdraw tomorrow or withdraw and the end of the semester. I don't know when your chapter's "deadline" for withdrawl is, but financially, it's all the same. If you don't even want to try (which sounds possible), that's one thing, but since you'll have to pay this semester's dues anyway, if you feel up to trying, put more effort to get involved and close to sisters. If you still feel this way at the end of the semester, then you should probably withdraw.

[baci]

I may be a little late to this thread, but I just read it all. I happen to think that "aabby757" said it best. Her response was very mature and seemingly true to heart.

As you age, many of these friends may no longer be in your life. (both your sorority sisters and your non-Greek friends) Life takes many turns and people go on various paths and at different paces. Trust me when I tell you so much will happen to you in your 20's and 30's. As you hit your 40's, you will see things so differently.

You can take as much as you want or as little as you want from your sorority now and later. That is your choice. The good thing is if you remain, the option is always there for you. If you depledge, it is gone forever! Think about it.

The money is not that large of an amount. It may seem like it now, but it really isn't. It is a small price to pay.

Think about trying to initiate a new program/idea in your sorority if you stay. Something that can help you or others with the feelings you have now. Maybe you can be a liaison to others who may be having the same issues that you are. You can create a group that meets to talk etc. Why not? This is "life" and not everything is perfect, including being a sorority sister. It is perfectly normal to have the feelings you are having and I am sure some other people have them or have had them. It is actually silly to be afraid to talk about it or admit it. This is life.

You could also consider creating an event that allows a sister to be paired with a non-member of her choice. Maybe it could be a competition type event at the house or a cookie party or even a study hall each week with a dessert after. It doesn't really matter what it is. Give something a chance and put out some effort. At least in your heart you will know you did something positive for yourself and others.

One hundred women are alot of women to get to know and enjoy being around.
It is perfectly fine if you don't know them all. Take the extra time to say hello and ask someone you don't know how they are doing. Just try and make someone smile. It may make you feel good inside as well. You are almost finished at your university. It goes so fast and so does your time in your sorority. Think hard and if you follow your heart you will make the best decision.

Good Luck.

[Matsimela]

I'm sure that if you dig far enough you will find out the particulars of how to deactivate, get alum status, whatever you choose to do. But i would suggest trying to stick it out or doing something to improve the way you feel about the situation at hand.