lil sis rush

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

friends and hang out a lot, he says "Hey wanna be my little?" You say yes. The end. You don't really do anything special. You just get to call him "Big".

Hmmm...why any woman would let a man of her same age group, who is not related to her call her "lil" is beyond me.

At my alma mater, I knew of a fraternity that had "lil sisters." One of the guys once told me that they each pick girls they want to hook up with, and that's what it's based on. I later heard of numerous incidents of near-assault and actual assault of women who were "lil sisters." This org. is not campus anymore, to my knowledge.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by valmypal

i'm a grad student at my university (not the same one as my undergrad) and they do this here. It makes me so mad! Both the fraternities and sororities have bigs of the opposite sex. i think not only does it cause cross-hazing, but i've heard it breeds more rape/sexual abuse too. they know they can't do this from their nationals. they get to wear their "bigs" letters on their windbreakers, but when national consultants come, its "everybody hide your jackets!". if you can't tell your nationals about something you're doing, then wouldn't it click that what you're doing is wrong??? the greek life advisor knows about this and just lets it happen anyways.

One of my good friends went where you are. She explained the whole thing to me and I just found it SO bizarre. Especially since it seemed like she hung out with guys from a different fraternity more than those from her "brother's" fraternity. Unless the fraternity has a really truly little sister program I just don't see the point.

[LatinaAlumna]

^It can be creepy. From my observations as an undergrad (and now as an administrator), it appears that some fraternities offer "lil sis" status to primarily freshman women who really don't know the purpose of greek life yet (or else they probably would have joined a sorority).

When I was an undergrad, one fraternity that had many Latino members (but was not a LGLO) tried to get freshmen women to join their "lil sis" program by telling them that it was REQUIRED if they wanted to have a chance at joining MY sorority!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AXiD_linds

I think as long as you're not abusing the idea of it, then it promotes greek unity because you can have bigs/lils of all different fraternities/sororities supporting your house.

The problem is that some people don't know where to draw the line, so on a national level it was decided against doing it at all. Same way with hazing. There are some perfectly innocent things that now cannot be done, because people took them too far...and rather than wasting time defining down to the T (because some people need it broken down to the umpteenth extent), they just banned it all together.

Bottom line: YOU NEED TO DROP IT. You are not going to change people's minds. They're not going to say "Oh, now that you put it THAT way, breaking National rules is a-okay!".

[NutBrnHair]

I remember a chapter meeting when I was an active (way back in the early 1980s) when a well-respected member of the university faculty and a Chi Omega alumna spoke to us about just this sort of thing.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

She said, don't let yourself get involved in any Big Brother Little Sister type of relationship. It is subservient. If you wish to be thought of as an equal, you will not let yourself be considered anyone's LITTLE sister.

On a related note, she asked us not to "squeel!" She said it was a high-pitched valley girl type sound that was most annoying!

This was 25 years ago. Good advice to this day, I think.

[NutBrnHair]

I know there was a documented case a few years ago in Kentucky of a sorority woman buying a drink for her little brother at a bar. (Mind you, this relationship was purely unofficial!) Long story, short...he died in a car accident later that night. All parties were named in the suit -- individuals, chapters, national organizations, etc.

He wasn't being "hazed," the friends said -- he did it of his own free will.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AXiD_linds

whoa...I wasn't trying to change anyone's mind. Don't get so upset about it. The original post asked for what people do at other campuses, so I explained how it works on OUR campus. Not saying it's done everywhere. I was just trying to provide a little insight for people.

Yes, but how many times have you already been told that it's frowned upon here? I would think you would get the hint and stop posting about it.

[fishie]

Ouch. Lets leave the poor girl alone, I don't think she meant anything by it. Right?

But to answer the original post...bigs/lils of the opposite sex are generally frowned upon and somewhere in the manuals of IFC or NPC it may ban them. I looked for you, but couldn't find them...I may not have been looking in the right place though, who knows. Okay, so, they're "banned" but schools still have them. There just aren't any titles of "I'm a little sister of this particular fraternity." But technically, yes, they're banned.

Originally Posted by fishie

Ouch. Lets leave the poor girl alone, I don't think she meant anything by it. Right?

You're quick to defend the girl because you haven't seen the posts she's been leaving in the past 2 days. Just sayin'...

After being given information that little sister programs were a no-no, she still insisted on pressing the issue. I hardly qualify that as "not meaning anything by it."

[33girl]

Let's get one thing straight: AXiDlinds is not talking about a "little sister program" in the sense of a group that has organized rush, pledging and initiation. It's more of a "pick random people and do stuff for them so we can wear each other's letters." I don't think - at least she didn't mention - that everyone whose "big brother" is a Sigma Nu will have meetings or be any kind of cohesive unit.

I know they're both no good as far as NPC & IFC are concerned, but there IS a difference between the two.

[fishie]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I know they're both no good as far as NPC & IFC are concerned, but there IS a difference between the two.

I agree with that. An organized group is completely different than a random person here and there. I guess maybe it's more of a campus to campus thing where sometimes it's just "over-looked." Although I don't think she meant they can wear each other's letters. Maybe I missed that part. One of my guy friends at another university has a "big sis." He can't wear her letters or anything. They just write it on sweatshirts "so-and-so's lil bro" or whatever. They're still "not supposed to" but it happens. Whether it's right or wrong, should or should not be allowed isn't for me to say.

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

She said, don't let yourself get involved in any Big Brother Little Sister type of relationship. It is subservient. If you wish to be thought of as an equal, you will not let yourself be considered anyone's LITTLE sister.

EXACTLY!!!!!

[InseparableDI]

my school doesn't have brother fraternities, so each fraternity meets with a sorority where they do a swap, with the sorority getting little brothers and the fraternity getting little sisters. You don't do anything for them, you don't wear their letters, it's mostly so you can have someone in the fraternity to feel closer to, and comfortable around. It's not subservient at all!

[Faith4Keep]

My campus has bigs/lils. Like KSUViolet said, it happens like this: "Hey, want to be my big/lil?" ..."Okay". There's no rush/pledge/initiation, anything. They do, however, swap paddles and jerseys. The lil makes the big a paddle and the big makes the lil a jersey with the lil's letters and the big's written out fraternity or sorority name on it.

Typically each person will have one big in their chapter and one big in a sorority/fraternity, and then as many littles as they are will to take/pay for jerseys- either in their own chapter or otherwise.

I've only been in my GLO for a year now... maybe it's not allowed but my campus certainly does not (and could not) hide it when our consultants come around. It's been the recent trend that paddles/jerseys get awarded to fraternity/sorority bigs and lils during those huge philanthropies. For example, at XYZ sorority's pageant event, Adam AB participates and his big Suzy XYZ is escorting him when he suddenly presents her with a paddle. Many time representatives from HQ (in this example, XYZ HQ) come to judge the event.

Until this thread I've heard nothing in regard to bigs/lils not being allowed. Nothing has ever been said in my chapter or other chapters, in fact, I would say it's neither encouraged nor discouraged.

Okay- now please don't hate me for sharing how my campus does things! ((Runs and hides))

[fhchick22]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Fraternities have sorority "littles" at my school, but it's nowhere near as big a deal as what is being described here.

How it works: If your guy friend is in a fraternity and you guys are good friends and hang out a lot, he says "Hey wanna be my little?" You say yes. The end. You don't really do anything special. You just get to call him "Big".

Thats what is done at my school. If a guy is cool big sister asks them to be her littles big bro. After you get introduced, you go out for dinner or something. The little sister has no official affiliation with the fraternity. You may get into parties easier but thats all. It really means nothing its just for fun.