Some of the messages on here are really hurtful.
Getting back to the original topic....it is hard when you feel excluded. I have a very outgoing personality, so I have a hard time really relating, but I know some people in chapter kind of can get lost sometimes. I think the best thing to do though is to get involved. Really, IMO, it is the active members' responsibility to draw out the new initiates, but sometimes that doesn't happen.
You mentioned making Valentine's for your members. Maybe you can work on Membership Development or does your chapter do a philanthropy- usually philanthropy chairs LOVE any help anyone offers? Even if it is too late to run for a chair position, maybe you can assist someone.
If you are too overwhelmed to do something like that, maybe you can invite your "big" and your "family members" to a family dinner at Chili's or whatever local restaurant you have. I love "family" dinners. Sometimes you will have to make the initiative or else it won't get done.
Sometimes it is hard to find your niche though, but I am sure it is there somewhere. Honestly though, sometimes you can get disappointed. Sadly, that is true for all things.
Good luck though! I am confident things will work out.