Are you close to your Big/Lil? - Page 2

HeavenslilAngel · #1 01-09-2003, 02:56 AM

My big and I are not close we say hi and have "small talk" kind of conversations.....................I have like 6 or 7 littles...........my first has kinda distanced her self from the sorority shes not as active and etc ..............my 2nd everyone loves and shes the social head she kinda treats me like everyone else though............my 3rd quit because she wanted to be devoted to her other sorority................my 4th isan adopted big sis her big may or may not come back but shes half mine either way it goes because her big couldn't afford her towards the end of the new member period and we aren't close but we talk small talk some..........my 5th and I are very close on her application she put my name as the answer to how she heard about ASA ort something so I guess I kinda recruited her we joke around a lot and shes friends with some of my non greek friends............my 6th and I are not too too close............we got each other christmas presents and stuff but we don't hang out much out side of ASA events.......my chapter doesn't really promote having close friendships with bigs/littles...........if you want to you can but they don't care and noone has any money so the few that do or whoever has someone they want is who usually takes another little and since my financial situation usually allows me tio take one i usually take one which is why i have 6 lils

But I would do anything for them or anyone of my sisters...............i love ASA!!!!!!!!!!!

SATX*APhi · #2 01-09-2003, 03:08 AM

My big (aka sexyaphi on GC) is the bestest in the whole wide world!! She and I have the best of times when we are together. She lets me be me and puts up with me when I'm being silly. She would come by my dorm room just to hang out and then say, "Let's go get Starbucks." She was the one who I would study with every night. Melanie was also the one who would ask me why I didn't go to class and ask if I had "dropped out." She's always kick me off of my lap top because she needed to chat with the crew. One day we were hanging out at her apartment debating on whether we should study (since we both had major exams the next day) --OR-- go to a community service event our chapter was having. The 5 o'clock news came on and mentioned something about the rodeo that was in town, so she and I got our things together and bypassed early studying for our exams and our community service event. This was in April and the semester was almost over and we knew that after the semester was over we wouldn't see each other for a long time since I was moving back home and she was moving away for graduate school. In fact, I haven't seen her since May of '02 (8 months ago), BUT SHE IS COMING TOMORROW TO VISIT ME FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love my big!!!

AOIIBrandi · #3 01-09-2003, 09:51 AM

My family is/was amazing. My Big, adopted Big (after my first big transferred for nursing school I was "adopted" by another sister), and my lil were my three best friends in college. I still keep in touch with them today. I was in two of their weddings - one isn't married yet, and they were all in mine.

5 years after college... We all live in different places so I don't get to see them as much as I would like, but we keep in touch via phone and e-mail all the time. See a true story about "sisterhood for a lifetime".

33girl · #4 01-09-2003, 11:07 AM

LeighAnn,

I think the reason your chapter might not have the big/little relationships as strong is because y'all are so new. It's hard to act as a mentor or a guide to someone when you're flying by the seat of your pants yourself.

Did anyone propose you guys having alumnae bigs (although I don't know how many of your chapter alums are still, well, alive) or a big sister chapter?

White_Chocolate · #5 01-09-2003, 11:09 AM

My big went through a rough time in her life and she ended up disaffliating the next semester. We had hung out all of the time but when she distanced herself from sorority and me, I was extremely hurt. However, I understood why she was disaffliated. This past fall, I took on my first two littles(so many girls that we had to double up). Of course, I had been adopted into the PHI SIG MAFIA(the biggest family tree in the sorority. . .they even have godfather shirts with our letters and the little puppet hand on the back).
However, I passed her on my way to class once and asked her to stop by so I could show her something. When she came, I handed her a big sis paddle and introduced her to her 'grandbabies'. She broke down and apologized for leaving me stranded but I told her that I was okay. Now, we hang out once a week. . .whether it be hounding our fine ass basketball team or just going to see a movie.

When it comes to sorority life, there's only one way to go. . .PHI SIGMA SIGMA.

dzrose93 · #6 01-09-2003, 11:30 AM

My Big Sis and I clicked on my Bid Day, and have been great friends ever since.

Although distance keeps us apart, we both try to get together when we can --- particularly for special occasions. I was in her wedding, attended her first baby shower, and was the first DZ to hold her new legacy the day after she was born this past November.

I know that she will do all of those things for me one day, too.

My own little sisters and I haven't been able to see each other in quite some time. My first little sis and I kept in touch, but lived too far away to visit. I did visit on her wedding day, though. Unfortunately, she and her husband live in North Carolina, so it's really tough to see each other.

My adopted little sister moved away after graduation, and I completely lost touch with her --- until last week! She and her husband recently moved to the area, and she was online searching for DZ alumnae chapters when she stumbled across my website. I was SO excited to hear from her, and now we're making plans to meet and catch up!

SigK_Bama · #7 01-09-2003, 11:36 AM

My Big and I roomed together in the dorms for a year and then a year and a half later we got an apartment together. We ended up being really good friends and I was closer to the people in her pledge class than I was to the people in my own, since the people in my pledge class kind of fell by the wayside. She was the first person in college who corrupted me.

We still email back and forth every day, even after I've been gone for a year and a half. She was at my wedding five months ago, too. My Lil and I are also close. She was actually from my hometown and we were in church youth group together, so we had hit it off way before school started. She was also a bridesmaid in my wedding, so yeah, I'm really close to my Big and my Lil.

AlphaGamGirlAY · #8 01-09-2003, 01:39 PM

I love my Big. She really has filled a void in my life....I'm the eldest child and I've always wanted a Big Sis. She's been there for me in some real tough times and we do hang out every now and then...Like we have a lab class together and we plan on eating lunch before that class each week and stuff. She's the most open sister I have (IMO)...I can open up to her and she opens up to me.

But what's weird is as much as she understands me, she just doesn't and I don't know if it's me or her. I'm an affectionate person and I've been told that I have a big heart and that I "wear it on my sleeve". I have bought my Big gifts for no reason...the most recent one she did get sorta mad at me about, and now she's alright with the idea, but I'll have to wait and see how she reacts to it. And it's not that I'm trying to "buy friendship or love"...that's just the way I am. I've bought gifts for my Grand-Big and for other sisters for no reason and they've never gotten after me...and it's not that I expect gifts back b/c I don't. I'd rather give a gift than get one. But my Big doesn't seem to understand that about me...she's like "you shouldn't have" and it's more of a literal tone rather than the way it's usually said.
And like, with my Grand-Big, I may just give her a random hug or lay my head on her shoulder and she's never said anything (if she cares that I do that)...but my Big, she's told me sometimes "don't lean on me" and like things. But what's weird about that is when something is totally wrong and I'm bawling my eyes out, she's one of the first to hold me in a tight embrace while I'm in tears. I remember one night after my parents left my dorm, I was so upset from that weekend and I called my Big, went over to the house and she just held onto me as I sobbed my heart out. But it's like when there's nothing wrong, she doesn't want me around at times, but she will never say that directly...I just get the feeling from how she acts.

AlphaGamGirlAY · #9 01-09-2003, 01:46 PM

I love my Big. She really has filled a void in my life....I'm the eldest child and I've always wanted a Big Sis. She's been there for me in some real tough times and we do hang out every now and then...Like we have a lab class together and we plan on eating lunch before that class each week and stuff. She's the most open sister I have (IMO)...I can open up to her and she opens up to me.

But what's weird is as much as she understands me, she just doesn't and I don't know if it's me or her. I'm an affectionate person and I've been told that I have a big heart and that I "wear it on my sleeve". I have bought my Big gifts for no reason...the most recent one she did get sorta mad at me about, and now she's alright with the idea, but I'll have to wait and see how she reacts to it. And it's not that I'm trying to "buy friendship or love"...that's just the way I am. I've bought gifts for my Grand-Big and for other sisters for no reason and they've never gotten after me...and it's not that I expect gifts back b/c I don't. I'd rather give a gift than get one. But my Big doesn't seem to understand that about me...she's like "you shouldn't have" and it's more of a literal tone rather than the way it's usually said.
And like, with my Grand-Big, I may just give her a random hug or lay my head on her shoulder and she's never said anything (if she cares that I do that)...but my Big, she's told me sometimes "don't lean on me" and like things. But what's weird about that is when something is totally wrong and I'm bawling my eyes out, she's one of the first to hold me in a tight embrace while I'm in tears. I remember one night after my parents left my dorm, I was so upset from that weekend and I called my Big, went over to the house and she just held onto me as I sobbed my heart out. But it's like when there's nothing wrong, she doesn't want me around at times, but she will never say that directly...I just get the feeling from how she acts.

#10 01-09-2003, 02:36 PM

Unfortunately, I'm not close with either my big or my little

We had a random matching process too, based on seniority, and whether or not you'd ever had a little before... so I ended up with a big who was graduating that semester, planning a wedding, and whom I had nothing in common with. We hung out a little bit, but she didn't have much time or interest in really being involved anymore, and then she graduated and moved to... Idaho or something? just three weeks after I was initiated. I never heard from her again.

My little and I had a better chance, but we just didn't click. She was assigned to me my junior year, and while I was big into partying right then (I had just turned 21), she was very much the prim and proper girl, didn't like to go out, didn't "approve" of my antics, etc. We didn't have anything else in common, either... so while I made an effort to get to know her, we just never hit it off.

texas*princess · #11 01-09-2003, 07:16 PM

Just reading all these threads makes me wish my Big(s) and I were closer. My first Big from Deltasig was pretty distant. After awhile we became really good friends, until he started seriously dating someone. Kind of bummed me out we couldn't hang out anymore b/c his new girlfriend didn't like that I was a girl calling him to say hi. After I transferred, the new chapter gave me an honorary Big. She's really cool & nice, but since I had already been a member for awhile it wasn't really the same as getting a Big when you're a freshman or sophomore just joining an organization.

I am still really close to my little from my sorority from my other school. We still call each other at least once a week to keep each other updated on how things are going.. she's so sweet and I love visiting the girls because she is so awesome. We're still very much best friends

WPISweetie · #12 01-09-2003, 07:31 PM

My big is absolutely awesome! (I have to admit I'm secretly hoping that she stumbles across this thread

) Some of you may remember me mentioning her in my rush thread. I didn't know her very well at the beginning of this year, but what I knew about her really impressed me - she's a really amazing person, absolutely the definition of a role model. She asked me if I had thought about rushing (much to my surprise - I didn't know she even knew who I was!). During rush we got to know each other better (even went on a roadtrip together for our job), and the more I got to know her, the more I liked her. I sort of had my own personal wishlist for bigs, and while she was at the top of the list, I knew she DEFINITELY wouldn't be taking a little because she has a pretty demanding office (not to mention all of the other things she does). I was SOOO psyched when I found out that she was my big!!

She is absolutely the greatest - I couldn't have asked for a better one

aephi alum · #13 01-09-2003, 07:39 PM

My big from my local sorority was amazing! She spoiled me rotten during my pledge semester

Sadly, during my sophomore year we kind of drifted apart, but that's ok because I became a lot closer to some of my other sisters.

My little - honestly, I think we were paired up only because I was one of the few sisters who made the effort to get to know her. She's kind of quiet, but she has a temper. She was a good sister, made a lot of contributions, served on Panhel - but she and I were not a good pairing. We don't keep in touch anymore.

The semester after I graduated, my chapter went through a reorganization. About half the sisters were asked to go alum; some chose to deaffiliate entirely instead. My little was among them.

Since I'm a chapter founder, I technically no longer have a big, nor do I have a little. I have no family

shadowstar · #14 01-09-2003, 08:45 PM

in our house, bigs and littles were matched up according to preference of both the pledges and the sisters, so everyone got someone they were at least ok with. our house stressed that your big doesn't have to be your best friend; the role of big is more just a functional one to teach you ritual and help learn your way around the sorority. i got lucky with my big, though. she is absolutely super and was one of the first friends i made when i came to college. she has always been encouraging and inspiring and i think our relationship really demonstrates sisterhood. even though she's away at grad school now, we still keep in contact. my littles...well, one of my littles is absolutely super, too. she lives with me this year. we always find lots to talk about and i really enjoy getting her insight on things. she's really special. my other little doesn't even speak to me anymore (and i'm not even sure why, exactly). so i guess that just goes to show that big/little relationships can work out just like any other friendships. but i am very blessed to have the sisters that i do!

ADPi~Ally · #15 01-09-2003, 09:13 PM

My big sis (or diamond sister) and I are really close. We hang out almost every week, and when we can't, we talk on the phone. She wasn't my big when i 1st joined. I got a big sis when I 1st joined, but like 2 weeks later she went alumn, so I never met her, so I don't consider her my big. Then summer came, and I didn't have a big sis, I was adopted by my now "Aunt" in my family until I got a diamond sister. She made me feel welcomed and took the time to get to know me. The time initiation came, my big sister now was picked to be my diamond sister. So in the end, she turned out the be the best big sis.
I have 2 lil sisters. My 1st one, we get along well, I wanted her to my lil and she wanted me to be her big. She is really is a wonderful sister. And i'm so proud of her because now she is the President of the sorority. My 2nd lil, i just got at the end of last semester. She's a great sister. We're not close, but I wanna change that. So I plan to get to know her better next semester. I think I will not be getting anymore lil's because its my last semester, and I won;t really get a chance to know her and it wouldn;t be fair to my potenial lil.
I am glad of who I got