Joining a sorority and then transferring

[aw19]

UNFSigmaChi:
It is really easy to be annonymous and sit at a computer and say whatever you want, but you should practice a little self control. Personally, I think it is REALLY rude that you would say some of the things about this DG chapter. I don't know the situation first hand but I think you are overstepping your boundaries by pretending to know the internal happenings of these two chapters. Also, just because you knew someone 3 years ago doesn't mean you know what is going on. And if you really are that close with the DGs you wouldn't be talking shit about them here.
Way to go to Twigs for stepping up and giving SX a piece of your mind. I know that my chapter has been talked about on this board and I just sort of sat back and didn't say anything. Sometimes it isn't worth replying, but I think this is a pretty big deal and quite possibly a rumor. So, good job on speaking your mind. The lesson that should be learned here is:

1. Rumors are rumors, don't slander, who does it help?
2. Remember, just b/c people don't post or say much, they are here and do read these boards.
3. Yes, you are somewhat anonymous, but don't be an ass and diss people

Thanks for reading,
aw

[Angels&Arrows]

Carnation, you are correct this was discussed before... I found it:

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...431#post101431

This does happen... I think it use to happen more, than it does now. The affiliate chapter does not have to accept the member... Most chapters’ vote, after a probationary period... and it does not affect the chapter regarding total. Even if they are at total, they can still bring in the member. The affiliating member, also, does not affect the chapter's quota at recruitment time.

[FuzzieAlum]

Maybe AXD is unusual, but for us, the chapter the girl is transferring to has no say on whether or not the girl becomes active. The only group that has a say is her _old_ chapter. That is, if she's leaving school because she is psycho or something, the old chapter can basically say that they don't want the new chapter to have to deal with that. Of course, the girl herself can choose not to affiliate. But a sister is a sister. It seems to me that voting on whether to accept her is making her rush all over again. However, I don't think AXD has a big problem with people joining "easier" chapters to get into "better" chapters.

[UNFSigmaChi]

I really didn't "diss" your chapter. If anything I gave you girls a big compliment....i mean i think someone saying DG has the best sisterhood is a compliment. As far as sisterhood goes, it really outweighs looks. I thought I made that obvious but maybe you read something else. Ya our chapter now has some guys that aren't hotties, but I think our chapter has the best brotherhood so it doesn't matter. And what I said are not rumors cause I was there when the two girls said they plan on transferring to FSU after getting initiated. And I think when rush comes around you'll see who they are. And its not just DG, its AXO and ZTA too, but I just hear and sometimes see its more prevelant with DG. Thats why i used DG as an example since your the youngest on campus. And if you knew about this history of your chapter here at UNF, then you'd know that Sigma Chi was the first and ONLY fraternity to really help you girls by having socials/mixers, inviting you to formals and parties when other fraternities wouldn't give you the time of day. And I was one of those brothers, so i think i know a little bit about how DG is on campus. But once again in case you don't understand, just because someone says you may not be the prettiest girls, it doens't mean your not the best. I don't hang out withmany DG's anymore except your old school girls, im more of a ZTA guy and old school alpha chi guy myself. But that doesnt mean im still not in the loop on what girls do or girls rushing say. UNF is a small greek school and people know each others business wheter its good or bad.

[SigmaChiCard]

we had three kids in one pledge class leave right after n\initiating, and we knew they were going to, but one found out in mid semester that his program was going to be better at UK, the other two tried it out, but then didn't end up affiliating and are trying to get back here...their parents won't let either of them

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

I think it's a shame that GLOs get labeled as "looks and status" orientated. Most of us -- although I guess possibly not all -- are so much more interested in the support, the sister/brotherhood, the values.

Coencidentally.... the one DG I've met was the sweetest, most beautiful, gentle little thing. :-) She spoke well for your sorority.

~ Jacquelyn

[XiLovin]

UNFSigmachi, you are talking to girls. We take offense to that kind of thing. You only said that they had the best sisterhood after you had already made the comment that they weren't very good looking. I think that looks are a sensitive subject. Especially commenting on them. I mean, who wants to be judged on that. I would have taken offense as well. I would never post my thoughts about an organizations looks. Whether intentions are honorable, it can still be offensive. As an outsider, the first post did sound as though you were judging their looks and was a little rude.

I do see that you are trying to give them a heads up about fall recruitment and that is a very nice thing to do.

[KappaKittyCat]

I got into a bit of a tussle with a southern alumna at our Convention last month. The hot topic this summer was alumnae initiation, which some of the older members, especially southern ones, felt would compromise our sisterhood. The woman in question told me that she felt only women who could "make it through collegiate rush at a school with a good Kappa chapter" were deserving of membership. She felt that Kappa was deteriorating as it was and that this measure would let the riffraff in. She insisted that I was too young and inexperienced to understand. I informed her that, as far as she was concerned, I was probably riffraff [I'm from a small, young chapter at a small, north-midwestern school and my family has neither prestige nor old money nor any sort of old, antebellum heritage], but that I was wearing a Key the same as she, so I was a sister and there was nothing she could do about it. I probably wouldn't have made it past first set where she came from, but more importantly, I probably wouldn't have ever wanted to be Greek there anyway. Everything she showed me in those five minutes proved to me that she knew nothing about the gentle sisterhood that I'd found at my chapter, the love that broke down my preconceptions and stereotypes. The situation almost came to blows (in the middle of a buffet lunch-- it would have been beautiful!) but our chapter president rescued me. Our chapter president happens to be Indian (i.e. her parents are from India), and the scornful look that this woman gave her... oh, it was priceless.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I came to find out later that this woman had originally initiated at a northern chapter and then transferred "back down home." She sent her daughter to the same school, where as a legacy she would be almost guaranteed a bid, and the girl was transferring to her mother's southern alma mater for the fall.

So the moral of the story? Hmm... well, people who have problems with "letting riffraff in" probably have a touch of an inferiority complex themselves. And yet those same people are the ones who we find hedging their bets by "sneaking in" at a school where there "aren't any standards for membership" and then transferring. All that for a girl to say that she's an XYZ from U of _____. I guess what I'm saying is that I feel bad for people with the attitude that a sorority is nothing more than a Greek-lettered status symbol. They're missing out on a lot of the joy that I've found in my sisters.

I'd like to think that a chapter invites a woman to membership because they believe that she will live up to its ideals. I'd like to think that they do this out of the desire to develop a friendship. I'd like to think that a woman joins a chapter because she feels she's found a home. I shudder to think of all the wonder I would have missed if I had gone to a different school, or even if I hadn't sucked it up and learned about an institution that I was convinced I didn't like. At a time when the Greek system is under fire, it is unfortunate that we are turning on each other, both between chapters and within them. All stereotypes are based in a certain amount of fact, and until we can minimize or eliminate that fact and convince people that being a sorority member is more than a stepping stone to Miss America and president of the Junior League, we're going to have an uphill fight to woo wonderful potential sisters out of hiding behind the walls of prejudice.

[justamom]

UNF_Sigma Chi- I really did see that you were trying to be helpful. but XiLovin is right SENSITIVE ISSUE. Besides, there's a world of different tastes in women out there. Southern girls, just go North and you will see what I mean

KappaKittyCat- Honey, do I ever hear you! This whole town is full of 'em! It's kind of across the board not any one particular group however. Just be happy you don't walk out your front door and see them every day
edited-OH THANK HEAVEN I'M NOT TOO LATE!!!!
In reference to Southern girls go north, let me add N girls go south, east go west etc., etc., It's the taste of something different!

[kdonline]

While I personally don't believe in alumnae initiation for sororities, I just wanted to comment on KappaKittyCat's comment about the alumna she had a discussion with.

One thing we ALL have to remember is that many older alumnae were initiated during a different era - many colleges in the South did not allow minorities, much less co-ed dorms.

In fact, in the late 1960s, apparently, there was a huge backlash with sorority membership. I'm not sure of all the details, but it all happened as a result of the civil rights movement.

So these women are not used to people different from them being in their sororities. Yes, of course they need to learn to accept it - but they won't.

What can we do? Not much. Their time is passing.

[kdonline]

Oh, and as for the pledging, then transferring...

This has been going on for a long time...don't worry, the chapters at UF are aware that this happens - it's been going on at least since I was there 10+ years ago.

Most chapters DO vote on all affiliates. So, it's up to them whether or not to accept a sister.

Yes, it's a very touchy subject. And a chapter sister usually prefers NOT to discuss it with outsiders, because it's a painful situation for all involved.

[CarolinaDG]

Hey again, y'all. I wanted to make a response to my response... mainly because I think I sounded like a jerk in it...

OK, to my response about people caring about how the letters look... I'm not going to retract that, because I still believe in it, but I want to modify it...

This isn't ALL girls. Some girls come into rush with no legacy to follow, no preconceived notions. And, yeah, I wasn't one of those girls when I went through.

I'll give you a good example of something that happened with our chapter, which might be what happened with this girl...
One of our girls is from Virginia. Well, USC is actually quite expensive out-of-state, and our tuition just raised a lot this past year, so unless she got a scholarship, she couldn't stay. Well, evidently, she didn't. So, this year she has to go back to Virginia. Well, she just happens to be transferring to VT (which, from what I understand, has a VERY good DG chapter). She didn't plan this, and I know she'd much rather stay down here with us, the chapter that she joined, but she also is DG through and through, so she will probably try to re-affiliate up there. I can honestly say, though, knowing her that she didn't go into rush thinking that she might have to go back to VA and that they have this awesome DG chapter... she rushed DG because she loved the sisters and THIS chapter.

Sigma Chi, I'm so happy that you think that you "helped" the UNF chapter out, but I'd like to think that they helped themselves.

[UNFSigmaChi]

I personally didn't do a big thing to help the DG's out when they were still known as SIG's, our whole chapter did. I still even have my EX/DG St. patty's day pint class now that i think about it. :-)
And this whole misconception of people thinking that im looking at sororities on campus based on their looks(which i didn't mean it to be read that way) is wrong. Just as DG has girls that aren't "hot" they have some that are and so does AXO andZTA. Its just that on this campus, a lot of guys still have the perception of the not so hot sorority as being DG....and thats simply because they are still fairly new. And the next new installed sorority will become that stereotype as well. And DG will get another stereotype like...winning all the damn awards that Sigma Chi shoulda won during Greek week hahaha. Just like if someone asked who the easy girls on campus were both guys and girls would be like oh well thats obviously xyz. There are stereotypes about every org on our campus because we are so small. And I didn't mean for a whole tangent to go on about DG because it wasn't an attack against them. I just used DG because they are new and I feel that some girls rushing them will take advantage of them to get initiated and transfer...thats why i felt it appropriate of me to tell you that there are/will be 2 girls rushing in the fall that have told me they want to get initiated so they can transfer to FSU. Not to mess with your rush or whatever you might have thought. It just really upsets me when people purposly rush at a small school so they can transfer and affiliate with the chapter at the "real" college they want to go to. No dissing was intended or meant. I think it was both the way i worded it and the way it was read. Just wanted to clear the air(hopefully i did) so i dont have 50 or so DG's giving me the evil eye in august :-) Hey btw, when is Terri K coming back to town???

[Cluey]

My sister transfered after being initiated, but it had nothing to do with not wanting to be with her original sisters. In fact, a year after she joined, the chapter was closed (small numbers or something like that). She decided to try to reaffiliate with another chapter after she transfered schools. They couldn't allow her to, because of the total chapter limits in place or something like that(this was at a large, southern state university).

It's at this same university that I rushed my freshman year. Out of my rush group, 5 out of 25 girls ended up getting bids. The rest of us ended up dropping out.

I think that most people don't fully realize the pressure that is put on girls who rush at the larger state universities, especially those in the southern United States. There are not nearly enough spots available, sometimes not even HALF the number. I'm not saying it's right to initiate at a smaller college and then transfer, but I can see how they think it is the easy way out. In my opinion, most of the larger state universities need more sororities, but that's just my two cents.

[dggirly]

The one thing I did want to clear up though is that not everyone who affiliates at other schools is doing it because the chapter is better there. We have a bunch of girls(like 5) affiliating with our chapter in the fall. And I know that these girls are not just affiliating because they wanted to be a DG on my campus. They all have been in their chapters for over a year and one even has a sister who we initiated with out even knwing she was a legacy. And that is actually why she is transfering, to be with her sister. The girl who is transfering was initated before her sister and we pledged her sister without even knowing she was a leg. So i am sure if we would have pledged her sister we would have pledged her too. But then again we have meet all the girls transfering and even if one of them is transfering just to be a DG at my school we would have bid her anyways because we met all the girls and well they are wonderful and are going to be great additions to my chapter. Like someone else said these girls are my sister no matter what chapter they were initated in they are DG's. And i can only speak for my chapter but as long as the girl is in good financial standing and the chapter of her initiation had not problems with her we let her in. We were told this is how we are supposed to do it. But then again we have never had a girl try to affiliate that we could not see in my chapter.

On another note. I took offence to the coments made about DG's at other schools not being so good. Now I understand that ever Organization has great chapters and not so great chapters but there is a reason that each girl chooses a certain sorority. I just do not feel that people on here should be saying negative things about other sororities. I mean maybe the reasons I choose DG were very superficial, but people choose for other reasons. And even if you mean no harm from what you are saying it could definatly hurt someones feelings, esspecially someone from the house you are talking about. And I just want people to remember that when talking about a national sorority there are many different chapter with many differnet types of girls, so try to not generalize and say we see XYZ as the "ugly girls". Plus who is to say who is attractice or not. Differnet parts of the country do consider certain looks more or less attractive. I guess my point is try not talking crap about houses, it is just not nice. You would never tell someone to their face that they are the house with the ugly girls or guys so why would you say that here!!!