Rushing the Second Time around...

[AZTheta]

OP: stop focusing on everyone else. Let go of what happened in the past. It's DONE! FINISHED! OVER! Go through recruitment again with an open mind. This thread has fabulous advice for you. Take it. Or NOT.

Focus on yourself! Keep your grades up. Read GC threads on sophomores, on second recruitment experiences, on how to have a successful recruitment.

For the love of Mike, stop throwing out "excuses" and "reasons" for what happened in your recruitment. You.Will.Never.Know. Membership selection is considered part of Ritual (caveat: speaking for my own organization) and no one is going to ever provide you with the specifics you keep seeking.

If you are going through at Arizona (and if you are, don't tell us!!!), sophomores can and do get bids to the majority of the chapters. I can't talk about any other campus.

You have another opportunity. Don't blow it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

If you are going through at Arizona (and if you are, don't tell us!!!), sophomores can and do get bids to the majority of the chapters. I can't talk about any other campus.

She already stated the campus where she is attending.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by 33girl

She already stated the campus where she is attending.

doh! teach me to write something before my second cup of coffee.

Thanks, 33.

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

OP: stop focusing on everyone else. Let go of what happened in the past. It's DONE! FINISHED! OVER! Go through recruitment again with an open mind. This thread has fabulous advice for you. Take it. Or NOT.

Focus on yourself! Keep your grades up. Read GC threads on sophomores, on second recruitment experiences, on how to have a successful recruitment.

For the love of Mike, stop throwing out "excuses" and "reasons" for what happened in your recruitment. You.Will.Never.Know. Membership selection is considered part of Ritual (caveat: speaking for my own organization) and no one is going to ever provide you with the specifics you keep seeking.

If you are going through at Arizona (and if you are, don't tell us!!!), sophomores can and do get bids to the majority of the chapters. I can't talk about any other campus.

You have another opportunity. Don't blow it.

THIS. So much.

Regardless of whether or not Membership Selection is actually part of ritual, no one's going to give you those answers, anyway.

[elicampbell]

To the OP, you have given enough information about yourself that you can be identified. My advice is to edit your posts or delete them. Word to the wise The Greek Community is small, and actives and alumni do talk - watch what you post. I am a WKU alumnus, as are a few others on this board.

GO TOPS!

[DubaiSis]

I guess I missed it, and reading back over the thread, I'm still not getting it. But that's not important. Listen to AzTheta.

[melindawarren]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I guess I missed it, and reading back over the thread, I'm still not getting it. But that's not important. Listen to AzTheta.

The school name? Same here.

[IndianaSigKap]

I believe WKU has 8 NPCs with addition of Alpha Xi Delta this year. Not sure of exact chapter sizes but they look to be around between 80-100 from photos.

[DZsis&mom]

Info for WKU:

Panhellenic Sororities
Alpha Delta Pi
Alpha Gamma Delta
Alpha Omicron Pi
Alpha Xi Delta (Recolonized in Fall 2011)
Chi Omega
Kappa Delta
Phi Mu
Sigma Kappa

What an amazing list of orgs that any young woman should be proud to be a member.

[Greek_or_Geek?]

Originally Posted by pnmfosho

One of the girls who contacted me went to high school with me and was apparently my biggest advocate in the sorority because she saw my leadership in everything I did in high school. Another was the person who wrote my rec who was a recent grad and still came to a lot of recruitment stuff. And the third girl from the emails was the girl who talked to me on theme AND pref night, and I didn't know her at all. I do understand that I will have a lower shot at getting into a sorority this next time. And once again, I didn't decline the bid without considering it. I'm glad I declined it now that I know some girls in the sorority now; the only ones in my honors dorm who wouldve been in my pledge class are the same ones who I've only met when they were extremely drunk...which is a lot. I've worked really hard at my GPA and getting involved this year. I don't care about being the "top house" at all, the reason I was upset with my bid was that the one I got was literally the ONLY one of the 8 where I didn't feel welcome, or like it was my place. I go to Western Kentucky, so the Greek system is competitive but not as crazy as UK or somewhere like that.

Originally Posted by pnmfosho

Also, my definition of their "optimistic" is showing me how to do the hand symbol for pictures, and specifically finding ME on FB and messaging me to say they were upset when they didn't have to. They told me to keep their sorority in mind and that they would be keeping me in mind as well should I rush again. Also, I haven't gotten much advice yet, just insults on how I wasn't good enough for any sorority I liked..

First of all, we don't know you. If you have all of these advocates in the sorority of your choice, I have no idea why you're asking strangers on the internet for advice. Ask them for advice. In person. (Although as others have said, those people obviously didn't have enough influence in the chapter to get you a bid the first time around.)

Second of all, recruitment for a sophomore who is rushing for a second time is more difficult at any school. A re-rushing sophomore who turned down a bid has even more obstacles to deal with. Unless something has changed dramatically since your last failed recruitment (and by that I don't simply mean "Yay! No boy drama this time!") you will probably not have a happier outcome.

I know you don't want to hear all of this, but it's the honest truth.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by pnmfosho

Also, my definition of their "optimistic" is showing me how to do the hand symbol for pictures, and specifically finding ME on FB and messaging me to say they were upset when they didn't have to. They told me to keep their sorority in mind and that they would be keeping me in mind as well should I rush again. Also, I haven't gotten much advice yet, just insults on how I wasn't good enough for any sorority I liked..

No one insulted you. We are simply saying that the people who contacted you may have given you inaccurate advice, without intending to do so - going by how THEY felt, instead of how the sorority as a whole felt. 3 women out of nearly a hundred is not a lot.

There were some girls I LOVED and would have wanted to be my sister, and pulled for them extra hard, but the rest of the sorority didn't feel the same. In retrospect, they were correct.

So, go through rush again, get recs again, and try to stay in a better frame of mind.

PS: It would be in your best interests to delete the part of your post talking about why you are glad you didn't take the bid from the other group.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by pnmfosho

Thanks for the reality check..most of my greek friends have been the ones who told me to try it again, but they're also the ones who got their top choices the first time around and see no flaw in the recruitment system at all. I'm working really hard to keep my GPA at 4.0 and at keeping in touch with several girls in the greek system and hopefully I'll stay fresh in their minds, so I'm being hopeful about the second time around. I know a lot of girls at my school who joined houses, depledged and rushed again this past year, getting the bids they had originally wanted, so I know it's not impossible..I can name at least 4, and that's just people that I know personally. And I know there's no way you guys know me, but I was just hoping to get some advice on recruitment from others at maybe even more competitive schools since I don't know what their policy on talking up and helping rushees would be. I think my biggest problem last year was that I wanted to be nice to the girl in my bid sorority, so I acted like I wanted to be there when I really didn't. My best friend was in the same situation but she flat out told the girl she wanted another house so they didn't extend their bid to her.

The best advice we can give you is to go in with an OPEN mind. You will only do yourself a disservice to go through with your mind firmly set on one group. Recruitment has too many variables for that to work in the best of situations, but in your case, you should go in looking to fit into every group on campus. You should be happy to receive a bid regardless of which chapter offers it to you.

[princessamy]

Originally Posted by pnmfosho

Thanks for the reality check..most of my greek friends have been the ones who told me to try it again, but they're also the ones who got their top choices the first time around and see no flaw in the recruitment system at all. I'm working really hard to keep my GPA at 4.0 and at keeping in touch with several girls in the greek system and hopefully I'll stay fresh in their minds, so I'm being hopeful about the second time around. I know a lot of girls at my school who joined houses, depledged and rushed again this past year, getting the bids they had originally wanted, so I know it's not impossible..I can name at least 4, and that's just people that I know personally. And I know there's no way you guys know me, but I was just hoping to get some advice on recruitment from others at maybe even more competitive schools since I don't know what their policy on talking up and helping rushees would be. I think my biggest problem last year was that I wanted to be nice to the girl in my bid sorority, so I acted like I wanted to be there when I really didn't. My best friend was in the same situation but she flat out told the girl she wanted another house so they didn't extend their bid to her.

If you know 4 girls who did it then why not ask them for help since they were so "successful"?

[Greek_or_Geek?]

Originally Posted by pnmfosho

I think my biggest problem last year was that I wanted to be nice to the girl in my bid sorority, so I acted like I wanted to be there when I really didn't. My best friend was in the same situation but she flat out told the girl she wanted another house so they didn't extend their bid to her.

This is not true. Your best friend was simply higher on the other chapter's bid list. They wanted her more and she wanted them more so it was a match. This is what we call mutual selection. If her favored chapter hadn't had her so far up on their bid list, she was still on the bid list of the chapter she told she didn't want to be there (although possibly very low on that list.) Without matching to the first chapter, she could very likely have received a bid to the "less desirable" chapter through the bid matching process, quota additions etc.

The chapter you wanted didn't want you as much as they wanted all the other women who were eventually extended bids. You simply weren't high enough on their bid list to receive a bid and it has no relationship to how you behaved at the chapter you didn't want.

If your "best friend" is in a sorority and you personally know at least four other women at your school who re-rushed after declining a bid/depledging, I still can't imagine what you expect to get out of asking questions here of strangers who aren't at your school. You should know it all since you seem to have done your research, are so well connected and already have all the answers.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by Greek_or_Geek?

This is not true. Your best friend was simply higher on the other chapter's bid list. They wanted her more and she wanted them more so it was a match. This is what we call mutual selection. If her favored chapter hadn't had her so far up on their bid list, she was still on the bid list of the chapter she told she didn't want to be there (although possibly very low on that list.) Without matching to the first chapter, she could very likely have received a bid to the "less desirable" chapter through the bid matching process, quota additions etc.

The chapter you wanted didn't want you as much as they wanted all the other women who were eventually extended bids. You simply weren't high enough on their bid list to receive a bid and it has no relationship to how you behaved at the chapter you didn't want.

If your "best friend" is in a sorority and you personally know at least four other women at your school who re-rushed after declining a bid/depledging, I still can't imagine what you expect to get out of asking questions here of strangers who aren't at your school. You should know it all since you seem to have done your research, are so well connected and already have all the answers.

This. Bid matching doesn't work the way you think it does, sweetie. You just weren't high enough on the list to get a bid from the group you wanted. You could have screamed your hatred of the other group from the top of your lungs, but you would have still gotten that bid...with a bad reputation to boot.