Junior rushing for second time and super freaked out

BlueEyes20 · #1 03-12-2009, 10:11 PM

Hi! This is my first time writing on here-it seemed like a good place to go for advice so here it goes..
I go to a smaller southern school that doesnt have the most competetive greek life, but i'm sure its more so than some schools. I didnt rush as a freshman because of my boyfriend, which was stupid. I regret is all the time..anyways, as a sophomore I decided to go through rush even though I knew it would hurt my chances somewhat. I have a 4.0 and am in honor societies and things of that nature. I tried to dress well, had a pretty good tan, got my hair highlighted and the works. I tried really hard...after the whole experience I blamed it on this pair of plaid shorts, but I'm sure it must have been something else (or at least I hope haha). Anyways, recruitment was split up into like 4 days I beleive; the sororities "released" you after each day or you "released" them or whatever. I got cut from everything except for two houses. There are only like 9 or so houses on campus so I was crushed...to make it worse, one of the houses I wasn't released from also happened to be the sorority of the girl who my boyfriend had just cheated on me with (only like a month or so before). Needless to say she glared me up and down and whispered about me...I adored the girls I did talk to in that house, but I felt like they were aware of the fact that I was on the verge of tears (although with a smile on my face somehow). This girl ended up getting kicked out permanently about a month later, so I guess I had bad timing on that one. The other house I didnt like, but for stupid reasons. They had an "easy" reputation and were called "reject" and all these other caddy, cruel names. I'm not a judgemental person...but for some reason I let these stereotypes make me wary and uncomfortable joining, which was dumb I think in hindsight... So, the next round I was left with these two houses..and then the next day the house with the girl who my boyfriend cheated on me with dropped me so I was left with the one that I had heard a lot of negative things about.. I left rush sobbing and honestly didnt feel like myself for weeks after. My self esteem was shot...I felt like I wasnt good enough.. I went through rush feeling so confident only to be crushed and it was so hard for me. I really wish I knew what went wrong.

Anyways, I'm a sophomore now...still have a 4.0 and the same decent extracurriculars.. I want to rush this upcoming fall (as a junior). I don't want to miss out on this..I'm super girly and love to meet new people. I really want to experience this and think I would get a lot out of it/have a lot to offer a chapter. I'm afraid that I'll get cut from every house that cut me during the first round (I heard that this was policy at some schools). I'd still rush if so, but it would be nice to have this information beforehand so I would be prepared. I was going to do informal in the spring, but I missed the dates and started trying to figure out if it was possible about a month into school (which ended up being too late). If anyone has any advice...like maybe what you know about policies on upperclassmen rushing or about whether or not girls who are cut once are always cut..I'd really appreciate it!!
Thanks so much xoxoxo

ΑΓΔSquirrel10 · #2 03-12-2009, 10:20 PM

I go to a smaller school also, and my sorority has pledged juniors and seniors before. My best friend was cut twice before from our sorority, but was offered a bid the third time. It all depends on your school and the sororities, but unfortunately you will never know why you were previously cut. I would give it a shot, but ONLY if you can handle the possibility of being cut again emotionally.

KSUViolet06 · #3 03-12-2009, 10:30 PM

If you're going to rush a second time, understand that chapters may not be interested in someone they cut last year.

Also, the one chapter who DID invite you back last year may choose not to do so again this year (so as not to waste time on you because you didn't come back last year).

There's also the issue of you being a junior now. Depending on your school, you may have a harder time getting a bid than someone who is a freshman.

Something to point out: You can speculate on why you didn't get a bid, but you can never know for certain why you didn't get one. There are any number of potential reasons.

As far as whether you should try again, understand that there's a chance that you could end up without a bid again. As long as you are prepared to handle the rejection again, then by all means, go for it.

BlueEyes20 · #4 03-12-2009, 10:31 PM

I think I can handle it emotionally; I've been trying to pump myself up for it and maintain a positive attitude..I think one thing that made it terrible last time was the fact that my Gamma Chi or Rho Chi or whatever its called was really angry and mean the entire time.. she came into my room when I was sleeping and started screaming thinking I left wrappers in the hall, haha seriously.
Its just tough ya know. I feel like its a job interview..but its like an all around, everything about you job interview. Do ya'll think the sorority that I bailed out on when it was all I had left the third round is going to automatically cut me? It seems like they would be like forget this girl, she bailed out on us in the middle of rush..or somethin like that.. ahhh..

I forgot to add something.. my school has a policy where everyone gets a bid.. so do you think i'll be cut from all the ones I was cut from first round last time, then cut from the one that I bailed out on..and maybe not cut from the one that had the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with since they cut me second round? ha if that makes sense.. thanks!!

KSUViolet06 · #5 03-12-2009, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyes20

Do ya'll think the sorority that I bailed out on when it was all I had left the third round is going to automatically cut me? It seems like they would be like forget this girl, she bailed out on us in the middle of rush..or somethin like that.. ahhh..

We don't know for sure if they would cut you or not. It depends on what they want to do. However, it is VERY possble that they may choose not to invite you back (because you didn't accept their invite last time).

Also consider that you are a junior now. Depending on your school, it is harder for a junior to get a bid than a freshman.

Blue Skies · #6 03-12-2009, 10:36 PM

The nice thing about going through recruitment as a junior is that you know that you can survive college just fine no matter what the sororities have to say about you. IMO, that's also the downside. Go through as the confident, accomplished college woman that you are, while also being mindful that finding a sisterhood would be the capstone to your college career. Be sure to communicate the latter to the sisters who rush you.

Start right now to chat up the girls who sit beside you in your classes. Get to know them. A number of them will be sorority members. Befriend them. They can't gaurantee you a spot, but they will speak up for you.

Make sure you have some college activities and clubs on your roster. Good luck to you!

violetpretty · #7 03-12-2009, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyes20

I forgot to add something.. my school has a policy where everyone gets a bid.. so do you think i'll be cut from all the ones I was cut from first round last time, then cut from the one that I bailed out on..and maybe not cut from the one that had the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with since they cut me second round? ha if that makes sense.. thanks!!

Schools with a "guaranteed bid" policy have a guaranteed matching policy. This means that PNMs who rank all of their preference party chapters and attend all parties for which they have invites and room in their schedules for will get a bid to one of the chapters on their MRAA ("pref card"). A Panhellenic can not guarantee that you won't be released by any or every chapter, but they can guarantee that they will match you to one of the chapters where you attend preference, as long as you have at least one and rank it.

A PSA: not all schools have a guaranteed matching policy.

There is only one school that has a guaranteed bidding policy, in that they will force chapters to take PNMs that they cut, but that school is not in the South.

KSUViolet06 · #8 03-12-2009, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyes20

I forgot to add something.. my school has a policy where everyone gets a bid.. so do you think i'll be cut from all the ones I was cut from first round last time, then cut from the one that I bailed out on..and maybe not cut from the one that had the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with since they cut me second round? ha if that makes sense.. thanks!!

Actually, that's not what guaranteed matching means.

Lots of people don't fully understand this and think it means that every girl who goes through gets a bid.

That is not true.

What it means is if you attend AND RANK a full schedule of Preference parties, you are guaranteed to match with one of them.

It doesn't mean EVERYONE will get a bid.

You need to make it to Pref to be guaranteed anything.

You can STILL be cut by every sorority BEFORE Preference round.

No one HAS to invite you back at ANY POINT (even the 2 that you mentioned).

Both of those groups could cut you.

No one is GUARANTEED a bid unless they receive and attend a full schedule of Preference invites.

So you aren't guaranteed a bid to EITHER chapter unless those 2 invite you to Preference and you attrend.

I really hope you understand this.

ComradesTrue · #9 03-13-2009, 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueEyes20

I go to a smaller southern school that doesnt have the most competetive greek life, but i'm sure its more so than some schools.

Did you obtain recs for every house on campus? I don't know what school that you attend, but I can think of many smaller southern schools where recs are an absolute must (TCU, SMU, Baylor just to name a few). The fact that you mention that there are 9 sororities further indicates to me that you will need recs to go through recruitment.

Sometimes on GC people are quick to remind you to get recs for the SEC, but even though other schools in the south and in Texas may be smaller they are just as necessary.

srmom · #10 03-13-2009, 10:08 AM

Have you checked to see if your school allows quota additions for juniors? I know that at SMU, back in my day, we were allowed to take 2 additional juniors.

I ditto the post above that says to chat up people in your classes, etc, but more importantly, let your Greek friends know you are planning on rushing again. At this point, your junior year, you should have a number of friends who are in sororities, they will vouch for you! If you don't, then you need to get busy!!