Moms & Recruitment - Page 2

UGAalum94 · #16 07-11-2011, 05:17 PM

Let's clarify that we mean for bid day, right?

And let's also clarify that even in the SEC, it's pretty recent, isn't it. Wasn't it only moms who were members of the chapter who might have attended bid day before the millennials got to college?

Has this really happened anyplace historically other than Auburn and Alabama?

ETA: I think the advice to check with the greek life office is perfect.

carnation · #17 07-11-2011, 05:57 PM

There weren't moms at Arkansas, Auburn, or Mississippi State during rush or Bid Day that I remember back in the day. Not sure when Bid Day became a family event there.

One of my daughters went Greek at Jacksonville State and their Bid Day was a family event (for those of you who remember the Baby Berry Rush); I went with Ballerina.

UGAalum94 · #18 07-11-2011, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

There weren't moms at Arkansas, Auburn, or Mississippi State during rush or Bid Day that I remember back in the day. Not sure when Bid Day became a family event there.

One of my daughters went Greek at Jacksonville State and their Bid Day was a family event (for those of you who remember the Baby Berry Rush); I went with Ballerina.

I don't think it's a big parent event at UGA, even now.

I think this is may be a generational change even within the SEC. That probably underscores the point that parents should call Greek Life before they show up on bid day.

I don't like the helicopteriness of parents feeling like they have to be there for recruitment itself, but some aspects of family bid day seem pretty cute.

ggforever · #19 07-11-2011, 07:31 PM

At Ole Miss it is a family affair. I had not planned on attending as I thought it would "cramp her style". However, after a week at school DD called and asked for me to be there. I was totally shocked at the dads, grandparents and siblings waiting at the house as well as the moms. I was trying to imagine me explaining to my husbands and sons why they should miss Sunday football for Bid Day. Heck, I was not even sure what house she was in and would never have presumed to go to her 1st choice and wait without knowing, but somehow all these parents were aware ahead of time.

Anyhow, I would be there if your daughter asks. It is probably because she has heard that so many others will have family there. BTW, no one stuck around for long, just the picture taking, the initial welcome and a parent meeting where they welcomed us and explained how the meal plan worked, etc, but the girls were definitely off doing their own thing and parents were not included.

dgdramadawg · #20 07-11-2011, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

I don't think it's a big parent event at UGA, even now.

When I was a student at UGA, mothers didn't attend bid day events unless they were members of the same sorority as their daughters. It was more common for parents to send gifts to the house or their daughter's dorm. Then again, I rushed a whole decade ago... you never know if things have changed.

I echo the advice to contact the Greek Life Office if you are not sure whether to be there.

33girl · #21 07-12-2011, 10:24 AM

I thought from reading GC that parents at SEC bid days far predated the fwap fwap phenomenon.

UGAalum94 · #22 07-12-2011, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I thought from reading GC that parents at SEC bid days far predated the fwap fwap phenomenon.

I don't know anything about the culture at some SEC schools, but I think it's been going on at Alabama for a while and at Auburn a somewhat shorter period than Alabama. But if you look at the experience of the average member in her (mid to late?) 30s or 40s or older from those chapters, I don't think they had non-legacy parents at bid day.

But it pre-dated the rise of helicopter parents somewhat, I think.

(I kind of wonder if it changed about the same time that Auburn switched to semesters. Instead of parents sending their kids off for a week and seeing them at the first home football weekend practically the next weekend, on semesters, classes start a couple of weeks earlier than football. With recruitment being before classes, the first big campus event is probably bid day.)

arrowlady · #23 07-13-2011, 09:02 AM

I know that both Oklahoma and Oklahoma State the parents go up for Bid day. (have friends that had girls going thru at both schools last year)
I also have a friend who's DD went thru at Alabama last year and she did not go to bid day and her DD really missed her mom being there.

gee_ess · #24 07-13-2011, 11:37 AM

There are definitely moms,etc at Arkansas for Bid Day.

The PNMs are taken to the Greek Theater in their gamma chi groups. The moms,sisters,fathers, friends, etc are all waiting in the Greek Theater. PNMs are taken to the middle and then there is a countdown when they are allowed to open their bid cards and join their respective houses who are waiting in the stands.

Also do not show up empty handed. The Greek stuff sold that weekend would blow your mind. Even if you can't be there (and let's face it, not all moms can be) Get in touch with one of the stores selling Greek stuff and send her something. You can call that day or later in the day once you have heard where she pledged and they will get it to her.

BraveMaroon · #25 07-13-2011, 11:47 AM

My experience at UGA in the 1990s is that if your Mom was an XYZ, and you pledged XYZ, she would certainly be there for your initiation, and if she lived nearby, maybe she'd be there for pledging.

Our experience was that Mom and Dad would come for the next home football game, or even Homecoming, and we'd encourage our pledges (because that's what we called them in the dark ages) to have them come check out the house, meet the sisters and make sure their baby hadn't sold her soul to the devil.

We had a nice parents weekend in the Spring, and we encouraged parents to send flowers to the house during Rush (which is what we called it). But bid day was for the pledges and the sisters, who all needed time to decompress.

Ladybugmom · #26 07-13-2011, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arrowlady

I know that both Oklahoma and Oklahoma State the parents go up for Bid day. (have friends that had girls going thru at both schools last year)
I also have a friend who's DD went thru at Alabama last year and she did not go to bid day and her DD really missed her mom being there.

This is very true.. I has several friends whose girls go to OU and OSU and they all went up for Bid Day. It is much more common there than at Texas, although I think it is becoming more common at UT.
I did go to Bid Day last year because my daughter asked me to come. She was down to one house that she really loved and one that she didn't. I wanted to be there with her in case the news was not great...I am one that believes that you should at least go to the house and give the chapter a try, even if it's not the one you had your heart set on. I felt that I needed to be there to encourage her, just in case.
Luckily, she got the one that she wanted and it was a happy day. There were several mom's there and most of the ones that I spoke with were not legacies..they just wanted to support thier daughters. In fact, I rode down with 2 other mom's and neither were legacies.

One of her OOS friends was not so lucky and was very distressed about the bid she got. She was on the phone with her mom wailing...it was not good and I'm sure her mom felt helpless..we did however encourage her to give them a try.

Basically I would feel out some other moms from that particular school that have been through it before to see what they had done. In our case, I had talked to some that went the year before and they were glad they did.

MOMto2 · #27 07-20-2011, 02:57 PM

I currently have a daughter in a greek organization at Auburn. Personally, I have never talked to any mother who stayed during the full week of rush, not to say it doesn't happen. Most mother's help with move in then leave the girls to fend for themselves. In my opinion, I don't really understand how the mothers could help during the week. The Pi Chis are great at guiding the girls through recruitment and mothers would not be allowed at rush events. If moms want to provide emotional support, this can be done over the phone if needed.

Families are however, invited to participate in bid day activities. Most sororities have a reception for family members after bids are given out. These festivites usually last only a couple of hours and the new members are then whisked away to participate in activities with their new pledge class.

Personally, my DD would have been horrified had I opted to stay the week of rush. Being on her own, she made new friends and bounced her questions off of room mates, her Pi Chi and friends in her rush group. Isn't that how it should be? The best thing mothers can do for their girls is be sure they are prepared for the emotional realities of recruitment and encourage them to have an open mind.

tootiepie2 · #28 07-20-2011, 04:49 PM

Parents also attend bid day at LSU. It seems to be about the same as most other SEC schools. I definetly didn't feel as if I was being a helicopter parent. It was just part of the tradition of LSU. As a matter of fact I barely saw my daughter. I visited with other parents, signed up the the mothers club, got info about fees. etc. In all I would recommend it.

UGAalum94 · #29 07-20-2011, 05:29 PM

It's great that parents are included for bid day, but it's funny to me to use the word "tradition" for something that's less than one generation old at most SEC campuses. Something that's a Greek tradition at Alabama, for instance, could go back to the early 20th century for some NPC groups and pre-Civil War for some of the fraternities.

All that matters today, of course, for bid day is whether parents are invited this year, not how far it goes back.

AUPi Phi · #30 07-26-2011, 11:38 PM

I live in GA and know that at UGA the Moms do not go over for Bid Day, unless she is a legacy (maybe then but not always). I know several Moms who were bummed that they could not go over to watch their daughters get their bids! Auburn and Alabama encourage parents and siblings to come to bid day and they even have their first parent meeting at Bid Day and introduce the parents to the sorority! Usually they do have refreshments or lunch, depending on the time of day.
As for parents staying all week, I have never heard of that at Auburn unless they have daughters presently in the sorority and many Moms (of sisters) do go over and help out at rush, preparing meals/getting catered meals ready for the girls, helping decorate chapter rooms, and providing snacks and cool drinks from the kitchen between parties. The moms are NOT allowed in the parties at all or in selection sessions. I have lots of friends whose daughters have gone through rush at AU and never have any of them booked a hotel room to stay during rush. But they do go over for bid day, and most of the Dads do too!