Moms & Recruitment
 

Couple of questions....when I pledged...way in the day :rolleyes: actives actually came to our dorms, put a t-shirt over our head and took us to the house. I have very little memory of the actual bidding process, but I do remember the "kidnapping" of bid day....so....as I have been reading a few threads, I have noticed that some moms go to bid day activities. Is this common? And for reference, I am speaking about competitive southern schools. My daughter asked me if I was coming to bid day and frankly, I am not sure where my place would be (assuming she gets that far) Also...how do you keep your PNMs nerves down? The shopping stress is bad enough...couple that with the crisis of confidence that is sprinkled in here and there...it is shaping up to be a long 5 weeks.

I can't speak to Moms on bid day, as my campus didn't do that.

As far as keeping your daughter calm, make sure she knows exactly what to expect! Have her come here are read, read, read the threads about recruitment. Make sure she understands that she is never "cutting" a group, only ranking her preferences, and she must always keep an open mind! Also make sure she knows it's normal not to have a full party schedule, and it only takes one bid. If she is prepared for a realistic (not perfect) recruitment, she will be far less nervous, and it may eliminate some tearful phone calls along the way. The more she reads here on GC, the more she will know what to expect.

At Auburn, it's getting pretty common for moms to take a hotel room in town for the week. Some are there from the beginning, others go if their daughters are having a bad rush. With the heavy cutting that some AU sororities have to do with the new rush figures, it seems like there are more moms down there every year. Tons of parents are at Bid Day.

lane swerve/

Are these Greek parents or parents, in general?

With this type of parental presence and involvement, does it ever become difficult to draw the line between this and helicopter parents?

/lane swerve

Probably both. At Auburn and a few other schools, it has become a tradition and now a lot of women hope their families and friends will be there for them. These parents don't spend the rest of the year with their noses in the chapter rooms (unless they're asked to be on parent committees) but Bid Day is a big deal there.

I think this is something that has REALLY changed over the years. I would have DIED of embarrassment if my Mom would have shown up on campus while I was in rush, but it sounds like now it's sort of a welcome to the sorority for the parents as well, which isn't all bad since they're likely the ones forking over a wad of cash. But personally, I think I'd have Mom show up for bid day, and not before.

Bid Day is a huge deal at Alabama, as well. Moms, DADS, and siblings show up for all the festivities. Most all of the houses have lunch for everyone, including the families of the girls. I live an hour away, so no need to spend the night, although I always did if I helped out during the week of recruitment. So...if it's a big southern school, I say YES, go to Bid Day...don't forget the gifts!

So I guess this is where I get confused. When looking at bid day pictures of the University where my daughter will be attending I see photos of the girls all standing proud with bids in their hands (behind their backs) but I don't see any moms. Maybe the moms are the ones taking the pictures, but my understanding is that the girls run to their respective houses so I guess I am unclear on where a mom's place would be? I don't want to be one of the fews moms not there, but I don't want to be the only one there either:eek: Oh the fine line.

Since I don't know where your daughter is attending, I can only speak about the University of Alabama to give you an idea. Everyone is crowded in the street outside of the stadium. Believe me, your daughter will text you which sorority she gets. When the girls come out, they are already grouped with their sorority and go to the house together. You would then make your way to that house. There will be lots of picture-taking by everyone....the pros will be there to take their pledge class pictures, as well as the entire chapter. It's lots of fun!

Out here, in the wild west, the parents do not routinely show up for bid day. Yes, it is possible if an alum mom has a daughter in the house AND one going through recruitment AND the mother has worked in the background throughout recruitment.......but here it's for the new members and the actives.

have you gone on the panhellenic website for your daughter's school? does panhellenic extend an invitation to parents to join their daughters on bid day?

Where is your daughter getting her information, that parents attend bid day? did she hear about that during her orientation? was it in information she received about recruitment?

parents do not typically attend bid day activities at my daughter's school, so i made the decision not to show up on bid day. even though it appeared that she would end up pledging the zta chapter at her school, i did not want to put any pressure on her, in case it did not work out that way. it also helped that we live 12 hours away, so it would have been a calculated plan to be there. she did join zta and i attended her initiation. looking back, i think that if i had attended bid day when the majority of parents were not there, it would have been an awkward situation for her(a brand new member, who is going to feel awkward enough until she gets to know her brand new sisters) and for me. she had enough to deal with, without me being there.

There are some moms at the initial bid day celebrations at the houses at Texas but your daughter will be far from alone without you. Although I'm sure it varies between groups, a lot of the moms present seem to have a legacy relationship or are involved alumnae or local. I'm sure there are more moms around behind the scenes especially waiting to console daughters.

Again, although things vary by house, there isn't a huge long event at each house at least compared to places like Bama etc. So the part where moms would be present wouldn't usually be the biggest part of the day.

All the PNMs will gather to receive their bids. Then they get to come back to the house to have some fun with their new sisters. Usually it involves food, games, photos, getting gifts, going on an outing etc, but the activities vary by chapter. A lot of chapters will take their new members back to their residence hall to change into something more comfortable once the photos are taken and things are ready to get more casual. Then it's off to an off site event.

It was mentioned above that at Auburn, it's getting pretty common for moms to take a hotel room in town for the week. This isn't really true. In the past, there have been a few moms who have come to town for the week, but it's not common or encouraged. The potential members are kept very busy and there is really nothing for the parents to do. When a handful of parents show up at recruitment events, it's awkward for them and their daughters. Rather than appearing supportive, they look like (using a phrase from above) helicopter parents.

However, parents are invited to bid day and bid day events. Those are fun and intended to introduce a new member and her parents to the organization. The events only last a couple of hours, though. The sorority will work hard to reinforce the connection made during recruitment, so parents who can't be there shouldn't be discouraged. Still, only about half of the new members have parents there, and those who don't have family there will not be lonely.

?? There were 42 moms staying in one nearby hotel alone last year.

At most SEC schools, the parents are there. As another poster said, check the school's PH web site or just call the Greek office. They'll tell you. At Alabama they actually have activities for the family to familiarize them with Greek life and that chapter in particular.