Married PNMs/Age for rush

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by Anchored4Ever

So I'm wondering, what do most chapters do with girls going through who are married? I would not think that marrige & Greek life would work well together for the most part, but I'd like your opinions.

If you seriously want an answer to the two questions you posed above (one of which is actually your opinion, worded as a statement, but I can rewrite it as a question), wouldn't you need to set up a survey to obtain that data?

Originally Posted by Anchored4Ever

Also, what age is the unofficial 'cut off' for your chapter not pledging someone? Like if someone was signed up for 2011 formal recruitment and listed a high school graduation date of 2004... (because of military training, a medical condition, or some other thing) Would you seriously consider someone who would be an incoming pledge at age 25+??

Thanks in advance for your thoughtful comments!

In my opinion, you're getting into membership selection with the bolded question and follow up comment.

And I don't necessarily agree with DeltaBetaBaby that a married woman wouldn't live in. I can think of any of a number of scenarios in which a married woman would consider living in.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by dnall

I think just looking from the outside it seems like sororities sometimes over think things.

Stop judging the chapters of these NPC sororities' practices. What your fraternity does is what works for your fraternity. It is not what works for every fraternity and sorority.

Originally Posted by dnall

That's a guy trying to understand women, so doomed to failure, but it just seems unfair sometimes.

This is not an issue of gender. This is not an issue of sororities vs. fraternities.

Originally Posted by dnall

As a chapter advisor in my late 30s, I'm able to walk into a chapter where I don't really know anyone and very quickly establish strong lasting friendships with a wide range of guys from pledge to president.

If you consider a 30+ noncollegiate forming strong lasting friendships with college students to be a good thing. I do not.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by dnall

Seriously?

The whole place can come post in a thread in the ATO section specifically about ATO expansion and assume everything a personal attack on their own non-ATO org & chapter in every possible state, but I can't post something in an intro thread that tells a related story about fraternity recruitment or state a perspective that says all over it that it's outside looking in?

Really? Get over it. It's an intro thread.

The difference in these situations?

When I posted in the ATO section, I was correcting non-ATO business.

When you posted here, you gave information that's not relevant. This is like someone asking about the job market in Texas and you filling them in on the job market in Michigan. Cool story, but it's not relevant.

I'm still curious why you come to a discussion board but tell people to "get over it" when they begin discussing.

[Splash]

There are always exceptions to the rules.

Obviously the norms are known.

I will say, on my campus, a 24 year old pledged what is considered the top sorority on campus and is extremely involved.

[agzg]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

And I don't necessarily agree with DeltaBetaBaby that a married woman wouldn't live in. I can think of any of a number of scenarios in which a married woman would consider living in.

Serious answer: military wife not living on base.

Joke answer: annoying husband.

[Drolefille]

Pineapple, dnall, pineapple.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by agzg

Serious answer: military wife not living on base.

Joke answer: annoying husband.

Oh, interesting.

[KSUViolet06]

I didn't go to a particularly traditional school (in sense that we pledged transfers and juniors who maybe weren't 18-year-old freshmen) but chapters weren't keen on pledging married women because we had houses to fill and we knew a married woman wasn't going to live-in. Sucks for them, but that's the trade-off (get married, no sorority membership at school with sorority housing.)

[amanda6035]

It really does depend on the campus. That being said, I've not yet had the privilege to meet someone else in a similar situation as I was. I was 23, a navy vet, when I helped colonize AXiD on my campus, which at the time, only had 1 other sorority. Would a 23 year old navy vet have the same shot at joining my chapter today? Realistically, maybe, but probably not. The culture has changed. I'm thankful for the experience I had because I know it was unique.... There's NO WAY I could have ever become a member at a more competitive university. Not to mention that I was completely against the idea of joining a sorority and conforming to rules and structure after I had just finished doing that in the navy. That's why the colony appealed to me so much - I didn't have to follow someone else's rules and traditions - I got to help start them.


Benzgirl hit the nail on the head though.....

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

WE DO NOT DESCRIMINATE. Age is not an issue, having a child is not an issue, being married is not an issue. What is at issue is whether you can commit the time and the money to attending chapter events and being an active member of the sorority. Chapter is not a baby sitting service, your hubby can't attend initiation and there are dues and a badge to purchase.

So, if being married is going to prevent you from being a committed member who can actually come to chapter events, then don't bother....

[DeltaBetaBaby]

What about same-sex marriage? If they both want to pledge? Talk about a package deal!

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by dnall

You should ref the fact you're quoting some JI lashing out (inappropriately no doubt) on your signature line and maybe figure out if I'm the only opinionated jerk around here. But, if you'd care to continue that conversation, it might a little classier of us to do so by PM.

What would be classy would be your not giving opinions and incorrect information about things you don't know about nor will ever understand.

Sorority membership selection =/= one fraternity's membership selection lorded over by some old guy who wants to be their friend

[DDDlady]

Originally Posted by dnall

I say that because I recently saw a similar situation with my fraternity chapter in which they voted not to bid a guy that was about 25 I think and recently out of the military. Being in the military myself, I was kind of pissed about that. If you're going to hold military service against people, then we have a problem. Yeah, the guy is a few years older and in some ways is going to be different, but he also brings a lot of leadership and life experience to the table that 18-19yo pledges don't. Yeah, in some respects he may look or feel a little bit out of place in social settings with 18-19yo freshmen, but at the same time he gave up his chance at that college experience to be in the fight overseas, and now he's here going through rush trying to get a little bit of that back. I just don't think it's right for the organization to tell him he isn't entitled to that chance. I'd take a few guys like that over a few traditional freshmen any day. It's different, but they make the chapter better. I would want to see my org do the right thing in that situation rather than just be superficial.

I never said anything about holding military service against anyone, and not giving them a chance. What I said was, I do not know how someone who is at that stage in their life could find a way to really relate to people 7+ years their junior. What would someone who has been out in the world, probably lived and worked on their own for a little while, really have in common with a bunch of younger people who (mostly) are away from home for the first time, getting their first real taste of freedom?

As for the right thing in that situation, what is that exactly? Should we bid all non trads purely because they are non trads and everyone should get to be greek? That's not how it works. Not everyone gets the chance to be Greek for a multitude of reasons. A chapter should bid a non trad for the same reason they should bid a traditional student; they feel that that woman would fit well in their chapter, and make a valuable member, regardless of age.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

When I was in school, virtually every fraternity had a non-trad or two hanging around creeping out the freshman girls.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

When I was in school, virtually every fraternity had a non-trad or two hanging around creeping out the freshman girls.

Is that universal? We had the same thing (not EVERY fraternity) but I can think of at least a handful with the creepy non-traditional aged guy creeping on the freshmen.

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Is that universal? We had the same thing (not EVERY fraternity) but I can think of at least a handful with the creepy non-traditional aged guy creeping on the freshmen.

Yup, my a couple of the fraternities at my school have some non-traditional students. But they definitely aren't creepy. They're some of the funniest guys around. Only a handful of the non-trads are the kind to creep on the freshmen, and believe me, we warn our freshmen!