Married PNMs/Age for rush

[dnall]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

It's different for NPC groups, though, because we have quota/total. If you bid a guy, he doesn't fit in, and drops out in a week, no biggie. If we bid a woman, she doesn't fit in, and drops out in a week, that's a spot that could have gone to someone else.

In that respect, I think I'd feel much more comfortable pledging a 25-year-old woman in a COB situation, where she wasn't taking a spot from someone else.

I completely respect that. It would probably be good for the orgs to tell her that up front during rush.

I think just looking from the outside it seems like sororities sometimes over think things. In this case, gaming the girl's ability to fit in or get the same enjoyment out of the experience. It seems like they sometimes make decisions for other people based on what they think that person might want but not actually giving them a chance.

That's a guy trying to understand women, so doomed to failure, but it just seems unfair sometimes.

As a chapter advisor in my late 30s, I'm able to walk into a chapter where I don't really know anyone and very quickly establish strong lasting friendships with a wide range of guys from pledge to president. I know that's a different situation. Clearly we have our love of the org in common and I'm there to help them advance that, but still on an interpersonal level the age/life-stage/experience stuff really isn't much of a factor. It's more of a difference; in the way one active is from England and no one else is.

By that I just mean it's a very individual thing if someone will fit in or not. I understand the concerns, but if the girl and the org can successfully overcome those, then it seems like everyone would be better for it in the end. It would just be nice for the girl to get a fair shot, in the same way I wanted the guy in my example to get a fair shot and was mad when he didn't with a lot of the same concerns expressed.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by dnall

I completely respect that. It would probably be good for the orgs to tell her that up front during rush.

I think just looking from the outside it seems like sororities sometimes over think things. In this case, gaming the girl's ability to fit in or get the same enjoyment out of the experience. It seems like they sometimes make decisions for other people based on what they think that person might want but not actually giving them a chance.

That's a guy trying to understand women, so doomed to failure, but it just seems unfair sometimes.

As a chapter advisor in my late 30s, I'm able to walk into a chapter where I don't really know anyone and very quickly establish strong lasting friendships with a wide range of guys from pledge to president. I know that's a different situation. Clearly we have our love of the org in common and I'm there to help them advance that, but still on an interpersonal level the age/life-stage/experience stuff really isn't much of a factor. It's more of a difference; in the way one active is from England and no one else is.

By that I just mean it's a very individual thing if someone will fit in or not. I understand the concerns, but if the girl and the org can successfully overcome those, then it seems like everyone would be better for it in the end. It would just be nice for the girl to get a fair shot, in the same way I wanted the guy in my example to get a fair shot and was mad when he didn't with a lot of the same concerns expressed.

Our business is deciding what is right for our chapter and our sisters.

[dnall]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Our business is deciding what is right for our chapter and our sisters.

I don't dispute that. When I walk in as an advisor, like I did in the example I gave, and disapprove of a bid decision they make, I can't do anything about that. I can yell at them and make them feel like shit for what they just did, but it's their decision. I have no problem with that. I just said from an outside perspective it looks over thought and unfair. If it actually is or not isn't for me to say, and I'm not. I'm just stating a perspective. Moving on.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by dnall

I think just looking from the outside it seems like sororities sometimes over think things. In this case, gaming the girl's ability to fit in or get the same enjoyment out of the experience. It seems like they sometimes make decisions for other people based on what they think that person might want but not actually giving them a chance.

Well, if the chapter has a house, I think it's fair to assume that a married woman isn't going to live there. That could be a deal-breaker for a group that has a mortgage to pay.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by dnall

I think just looking from the outside it seems like sororities sometimes over think things.

Stop judging the chapters of these NPC sororities' practices. What your fraternity does is what works for your fraternity. It is not what works for every fraternity and sorority.

Originally Posted by dnall

That's a guy trying to understand women, so doomed to failure, but it just seems unfair sometimes.

This is not an issue of gender. This is not an issue of sororities vs. fraternities.

Originally Posted by dnall

As a chapter advisor in my late 30s, I'm able to walk into a chapter where I don't really know anyone and very quickly establish strong lasting friendships with a wide range of guys from pledge to president.

If you consider a 30+ noncollegiate forming strong lasting friendships with college students to be a good thing. I do not.