Question reguarding joining a fraternity

[cheah]

well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by cheah

well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

So, in other words, you don't really want to know what we have to say unless it reinforces you wanting to break your vows to one fraternity so that you can join another fraternity and maybe do the same thing to them? I mean, just so we're clear, here.

If you want rainbows and sunshine, this is not the place...but I know of one.

PM coming in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1......

[pshsx1]

I know the answer is more than likely no, but does the Fraternity you pledged, by chance, have a chapter at your new school?

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

So, in other words, you don't really want to know what we have to say unless it reinforces you wanting to break your vows to one fraternity so that you can join another fraternity and maybe do the same thing to them? I mean, just so we're clear, here.

If you want rainbows and sunshine, this is not the place...but I know of one.

PM coming in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1......

For such a question, I would think even HPRL would have the correct answer.

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by cheah

well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

I completely understand the situation. You're selfish and disloyal to your brotherhood, and are more interested in having fun with your buddies from back home. When I was an undergrad, I had plenty of best friends from my hometown, but my SISTERS were on another level. You do not understand what being in a fraternal organization means, and neither do your "buddies" or else they would not be encouraging you to drop your letters.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by cheah

well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

Do you think that you have to stop talking to your buddies just because they wear different letters? I have several friends who joined other organizations. We don't stop hanging out just because our GLOs don't match.

LatinaAlumna gave you a good answer. Take it and keep it moving...

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

I completely understand the situation. You're selfish and disloyal to your brotherhood, and are more interested in having fun with your buddies from back home. When I was an undergrad, I had plenty of best friends from my hometown, but my SISTERS were on another level. You do not understand what being in a fraternal organization means, and neither do your "buddies" or else they would not be encouraging you to drop your letters.

Yep.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

You need to get an official letter from your national office, which most would not grant.

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Why don't you think they wouldn't grant such a letter? . . .

This should have gotten one of those "it depends on the organization/chapter" answers.

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Granted I'm using just my fraternity, but it wouldn't surprise me if this was teh case was with most. Psi Upsilon constitutionally doesn't recognize somebody withdrawing from membership.

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

You should have prefaced your response with that statement

I've seen several people drop one NIC organization and join another.

But do you know that the "several people" whom you've seen drop one NIC fraternity and join another had a letter from the first fraternity stating that they had withdrawn from membership? (And if not, should you maybe have prefaced your response with that statement? ) Maybe they were doing it all without any national offices. or maybe even chapters, being any the wiser.

Just based on the responses that have come up when this has been raised before, I suspect Vito's assumption is fairly accurate. And in any event, it doesn't matter here whether most fraternities would or wouldn't release the OP -- it only matters whether SAE would release him.

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

So, in other words, you don't really want to know what we have to say unless it reinforces you wanting to break your vows to one fraternity so that you can join another fraternity and maybe do the same thing to them? I mean, just so we're clear, here.

Yep. We're clear.

Originally Posted by cheah

well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished . . .

Actually, she and everyone else understands your situation better than you seem to do. You've gotten the only constructive advice you're likely to get -- see if SAE will formally release you in writing (ie, release you from your oath) and then take it from there. But don't expect people here to encourage you to lie or break your oath -- in other words, to gain membership in a new fraternity by demonstrating a complete lack of integrity.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by cheah

well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

If you're best friends with them, shouldn't your friendship be strong enough to withstand you not doing all the same things together? It withstood you going to a different college, so why not being in a different fraternity? If they are your friends they will invite you to parties and events as a guest, and you can maintain your membership in SAE.

I didn't do anything the same my best friends from back home did, and we're still friends.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

But do you know that the "several people" whom you've seen drop one NIC fraternity and join another had a letter from the first fraternity stating that they had withdrawn from membership? (And if not, should you maybe have prefaced your response with that statement? ) Maybe they were doing it all without any national offices. or maybe even chapters, being any the wiser.

Just based on the responses that have come up when this has been raised before, I suspect Vito's assumption is fairly accurate. And in any event, it doesn't matter here whether most fraternities would or wouldn't release the OP -- it only matters whether SAE would release him.

I'm not sure that they received letters from I/HQ, but a couple of them repledged at the same (or nearby) universities. People knew about their previous affiliations, so I'm assuming that they followed the rules to the T.

I didn't preface my statement because, unlike Vito, I wasn't making blanket statements about how organizations operate. I was simply clarifying the NIC bylaws and bringing up folks that I've seen do this IRL.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

I'm not sure that they received letters from I/HQ, but a couple of them repledged at the same (or nearby) universities. People knew about their previous affiliations, so I'm assuming that they followed the rules to the T.

I didn't preface my statement because, unlike Vito, I wasn't making blanket statements about how organizations operate. I was simply clarifying the NIC bylaws and bringing up folks that I've seen do this IRL.

And you were assuming that the people you've seen do this in real life were doing it legitimately. I wouldn't assume that the rules were followed to a T and that's the part that might have called for a disclaimer. Just because the chapters involved knew what was going on doesn't mean they told their HQs.

Of the three us, Vito is the one who is a member of an NIC fraternity. Maybe on the question of how likely it is that most NIC fraternities would not provide the needed letter to a member who wants to pledge a different fraternity, we should yield the lane to him.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

And you were assuming that the people you've seen do this in real life were doing it legitimately. I wouldn't assume that the rules were followed to a T and that's the part that might have called for a disclaimer. Just because the chapters involved knew what was going on doesn't mean they told their HQs.

Of the three us, Vito is the one who is a member of an NIC fraternity. Maybe on the question of how likely it is that most NIC fraternities would not provide the needed letter to a member who wants to pledge a different fraternity, we should yield the lane to him.

FYI -- My organization is NIC as well

But I get what you're saying. I think the OP's question has been answered at this point, so there's no need for us to go back and forth.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

FYI -- My organization is NIC as well

Oops. My bad! That's what I get for not looking at the list and going by memory, ain't it?

Oh well, can that be my mistake for the day?