I just need to vent. What a MISTAKE!!!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by agzg

I find it hard to believe that every member of a large national organization is unkempt or dirty. Especially since (I'm assuming, here) it's an NPHC organization. I also find it hard to believe that a large national organization is not allowing you networking opportunities. Perhaps you should take the initiative and put yourself in contact with area alumnae.

Originally Posted by MexicanMami0286

In any case, it's up to you to take the initiative to make certain things happen. Just because you see others in different organizations with a "leg up" on opportunities, doesn't mean they simply got this from their membership with a certain org. I'm sure these women are qualified, despite their membership privileges and have taken it upon themselves to initiate contact with others and create the opportunities they want to see/partake in, whether it's in their careers or communities.

Listen to this advice. You can't rely on other people to put things in front of you, even when it's a national organization you're looking to for help. You have to do the research yourself. Especially when it comes to networking opportunities. I think the main idea behind it is that you "know" people around the country simply because you're all XYZs. But you actually have to seek them out and ask for help. I know of one sister who became friends with as many alumnae as possible through Facebook, and ended up talking to one of them who got her a job after she graduated.

The same goes for the chapter. If you want to see change, create it. Even if it's small change. Take on leadership roles. Recruitment or New Member Director (or whatever they're called in your org) might be good ones to strive for.

And I have to ask... how long have you been a member? Did you just join this semester? Because if so, remember that there will be many people who come after you. Maybe the chapter will gain some different new members and completely turn around come fall.

But if this is the case, and you did just join, and after another semester or two you are still completely unhappy, then consider dropping and becoming involved in something that you'll enjoy.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Kevin

If nothing else, it must feel great to be sitting in a room *knowing* that you're better than everyone else, yes?

Originally Posted by humblerumble

Not really, lol!

Does anyone else see what I did there?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I know of one sister who became friends with as many alumnae as possible through Facebook, and ended up talking to one of them who got her a job after she graduated.

And I have to ask... how long have you been a member? Did you just join this semester? Because if so, remember that there will be many people who come after you. Maybe the chapter will gain some different new members and completely turn around come fall.

But if this is the case, and you did just join, and after another semester or two you are still completely unhappy, then consider dropping and becoming involved in something that you'll enjoy.

Originally Posted by humblerumble

The chapter I came in through was smaller, and full of older women, so I didnt recognize this at first.

She is in a grad chapter of an NPHC or NALFO organization. "Semesters" have no bearing on her life. She is already what's considered an alumna.

On another note, if this NPHC, I would love to know what she thinks are "unladylike" colors. I mean it's not like there's a sorority whose colors are black and gray.

[humblerumble]

Im not really sure what you "saw"...what I basically meant was that I don't take an ounce of pleasure in any kind of "assumed" notion that I am better than anyone. I'm not attempting to start a back and forth, or be argumentative, I just wanted to be clear on that. When I said "not really", I basically meant that I take no pleasure in being thought of as "better than" anyone, or telling myself that I am.

But lets be clear folks...some things are a given!
Your hair should be combed
Your clothing should be well kept and clean
You are a representative of yourself, your greek family, your personal family, etc.
You should carry yourself like a lady with class. Extensive drinking, shouting, etc. is not necessary.
Being an "XYZ" does not make you better, but it should prompt you to be your best. If someone meets you and you tell them what org you are in, they should be impressed based on the way in which you speak and your overall appearance.

Please don't make it seem as though I'm not saying what others are thinking. And I've tried to initiate change. It's either too much trouble, no one has the time, or the money, or I am labeled as being "stuck up" because I like to do my hair, dress nice, wear makeup, and I carry myself a certain way.

I LIVE for community service, but I've found that the rules and constraints of a sorority, coupled with the overall lack of people really stepping up to get the job done, makes it difficult for me to do things in my community (in the name of my sorority, that is. I do a great deal on my own).


The bottom line is that I feel like I noticed so much more after I came in...I'm sure we could all say the same about our respective orgs. And as far as duration goes, I've been going strong now for almost 4 years. It's pretty disheartening knowing I can never go back...

[knight_shadow]

If you're just wanting to vent, there's really no need to be defensive.

You know that you can't join another organization in the council. Do as others have said -- initiate change, serve elsewhere (another chapter or a service organization), or turn in your letters.

The end.

[humblerumble]

Knight:
Thanks for your thoughts...but I'm not really sure why you say I'm being defensive.

Thank you anyway, and have a good day

I understand my options, and I honestly think I am very close to choosing the last one you mentioned. I don't feel I would be of great benefit to an org that isnt really on my heart. And out of respect for those ladies, as well as myself, I think I should remove myself from the org.

Thanks again!

[knight_shadow]

You're welcome, and good luck.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

But lets be clear folks...some things are a given!
Your hair should be combed
Your clothing should be well kept and clean
You are a representative of yourself, your greek family, your personal family, etc.
You should carry yourself like a lady with class. Extensive drinking, shouting, etc. is not necessary.
Being an "XYZ" does not make you better, but it should prompt you to be your best. If someone meets you and you tell them what org you are in, they should be impressed based on the way in which you speak and your overall appearance.

Please don't make it seem as though I'm not saying what others are thinking. And I've tried to initiate change. It's either too much trouble, no one has the time, or the money, or I am labeled as being "stuck up" because I like to do my hair, dress nice, wear makeup, and I carry myself a certain way.

I LIVE for community service, but I've found that the rules and constraints of a sorority, coupled with the overall lack of people really stepping up to get the job done, makes it difficult for me to do things in my community (in the name of my sorority, that is. I do a great deal on my own).


The bottom line is that I feel like I noticed so much more after I came in...I'm sure we could all say the same about our respective orgs. And as far as duration goes, I've been going strong now for almost 4 years. It's pretty disheartening knowing I can never go back...

Demanding behavior from another person as to their "shoulds" will only be disheartening to you.

First, you have no right to post volatile comments on GC like this using terms like "Soror" and "induction" thereby narrowing down choices as to who you are and what organization you are in. It is disrespectful to your chosen, select and paid for organization. If you have a problem with your sorority sisters, you confront them in an organized setting. If you are too scared to do so, being a neophyte, I can imagine how scared you are, then revoke your membership... Get expelled or go inactive. And once you make that decision, do not back down. We are all adults making adult choices.

Blaming your lack of family familiarity and experience shows that you lack trust and support from your own members who actually saw you as an asset to the organization! One of my closest friends who is a member of DST, practically became chapter president within 5 years of her membership!!! She was that well put together. It is my understanding she connected up with what her International Organization requested all chapters were to do at the time...

That is a matter of KNOWING YOUR DOCUMENTS!!! How well do you know yours? Constitution & Bylaws? Other documents all members must know? Who are your mentors within your organization--locally, regionally, Internationally?

I could see if you had 20 years under your belt and were burnt out... But 4 years? Wow!!! After 4 years, I felt like I was still pledging for the hayle I caught... I did not feel like full-fledge member until 10 years of membership!!!

Get it together and stop disrespecting your sorority sisters publicly!

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

... The bottom line is that I feel like I noticed so much more after I came in...I'm sure we could all say the same about our respective orgs. And as far as duration goes, I've been going strong now for almost 4 years. It's pretty disheartening knowing I can never go back...

I believe that this (in bold) may be contributing to the perceived "defensiveness". Please do not speak for me. I'm happy and involved in my respective organization and active in making change for the better. Do the same or move on.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by Kansas City

I believe that this (in bold) may be contributing to the perceived "defensiveness". Please do not speak for me. I'm happy and involved in my respective organization and active in making change for the better. Do the same or move on.

Come on.... in the context of the sentence you quoted, she's just saying she knows more about the organization now than she did before initiation.

[humblerumble]

I appreciate your response. To answer your questions, I know my Constitution and Bylaws front to back. I know my history front to back, I know my past and current officers front to back. This is part of the reason why I AM so down. Because I've given so much to this org, and I feel like it's just not for me.

As far as what's being done publicly, I've not named my org, anyone's names, etc., as my intention is not to be inflammatory and rude. It was to come here and vent HONESTLY about what I feel.

That's all. I'm not here to debate whether or not I have the RIGHT to these feelings, or the right to voice them, because I do. I'm not here to debate 4years of membership vs 10. There are some people that do more work in 2 years than someone who's been around for 40! It's not about any of that. It's not about putting my expectations on others. I feel as a member of an org, I am a representative of the whole, and vice versa. I'm not happy with the reflection, that's all. And I'm not making excuses, I'm being honest. I've never blamed this choice on anyone. It was my fault for not educating myself, and I admit that.

I can turn in my letters, I can formally ask to resign, and be granted that request, but I can't then go to another org because the rules don't allow it. However, at the rate things are going with this org...they may not be around much longer, and I may be granted the option of going elsewhere, or I may not. Who knows...I'm just down in the dumps about this...that's all.


It's about the bottom line...that I came here merely to vent, and I thank you all for your responses.

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Come on.... in the context of the sentence you quoted, she's just saying she knows more about the organization now than she did before initiation.

Perhaps ,but I have a feeling that her views of not aligning with her selected org are probably not with the majority of GC and although I'm from a different counsel, I find it innapropriate to sterotype anyone as not enjoying/contributing/appreciating their membership.

[humblerumble]

Kansas City:
I didnt mean it that way.
Now you're being defensive

I meant just what Senusret I said, exactly as I said as well.
We all learn more after we join. I didnt mean anything more than that.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

As far as what's being done publicly, I've not named my org . . . .

Not in so many words, but seriously, it's not hard at all to figure out what organization you're talking about.

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

Kansas City:
I didnt mean it that way.
Now you're being defensive

I meant just what Senusret I said, exactly as I said as well.
We all learn more after we join. I didnt mean anything more than that.

Sorry to have taken it that way but I never claimed to not be defensive about my choice of an organization. Good luck.