I just need to vent. What a MISTAKE!!!

[Kevin]

Either quit or make the best of it.

If nothing else, it must feel great to be sitting in a room *knowing* that you're better than everyone else, yes?

[humblerumble]

Not really, lol!
When I tell others I'm affilliated with this org, I see the disrespect spread across their faces! Conversley (sp?), some people say "YOU'RE an 'XYZ?!...that CANT be possible!". It's because these women have such a bad reputation for being sloppy, and so on...I wish I could quit...and go to another org, the one that's truly in my heart, but I know I can't. It's just not possible. For anyone else reading this who is young or on their way to college/Greek life...RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH!!!! PLEASE!!!

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Kevin

If nothing else, it must feel great to be sitting in a room *knowing* that you're better than everyone else, yes?

Originally Posted by humblerumble

Not really, lol!

Does anyone else see what I did there?

[humblerumble]

Im not really sure what you "saw"...what I basically meant was that I don't take an ounce of pleasure in any kind of "assumed" notion that I am better than anyone. I'm not attempting to start a back and forth, or be argumentative, I just wanted to be clear on that. When I said "not really", I basically meant that I take no pleasure in being thought of as "better than" anyone, or telling myself that I am.

But lets be clear folks...some things are a given!
Your hair should be combed
Your clothing should be well kept and clean
You are a representative of yourself, your greek family, your personal family, etc.
You should carry yourself like a lady with class. Extensive drinking, shouting, etc. is not necessary.
Being an "XYZ" does not make you better, but it should prompt you to be your best. If someone meets you and you tell them what org you are in, they should be impressed based on the way in which you speak and your overall appearance.

Please don't make it seem as though I'm not saying what others are thinking. And I've tried to initiate change. It's either too much trouble, no one has the time, or the money, or I am labeled as being "stuck up" because I like to do my hair, dress nice, wear makeup, and I carry myself a certain way.

I LIVE for community service, but I've found that the rules and constraints of a sorority, coupled with the overall lack of people really stepping up to get the job done, makes it difficult for me to do things in my community (in the name of my sorority, that is. I do a great deal on my own).


The bottom line is that I feel like I noticed so much more after I came in...I'm sure we could all say the same about our respective orgs. And as far as duration goes, I've been going strong now for almost 4 years. It's pretty disheartening knowing I can never go back...

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

But lets be clear folks...some things are a given!
Your hair should be combed
Your clothing should be well kept and clean
You are a representative of yourself, your greek family, your personal family, etc.
You should carry yourself like a lady with class. Extensive drinking, shouting, etc. is not necessary.
Being an "XYZ" does not make you better, but it should prompt you to be your best. If someone meets you and you tell them what org you are in, they should be impressed based on the way in which you speak and your overall appearance.

Please don't make it seem as though I'm not saying what others are thinking. And I've tried to initiate change. It's either too much trouble, no one has the time, or the money, or I am labeled as being "stuck up" because I like to do my hair, dress nice, wear makeup, and I carry myself a certain way.

I LIVE for community service, but I've found that the rules and constraints of a sorority, coupled with the overall lack of people really stepping up to get the job done, makes it difficult for me to do things in my community (in the name of my sorority, that is. I do a great deal on my own).


The bottom line is that I feel like I noticed so much more after I came in...I'm sure we could all say the same about our respective orgs. And as far as duration goes, I've been going strong now for almost 4 years. It's pretty disheartening knowing I can never go back...

Demanding behavior from another person as to their "shoulds" will only be disheartening to you.

First, you have no right to post volatile comments on GC like this using terms like "Soror" and "induction" thereby narrowing down choices as to who you are and what organization you are in. It is disrespectful to your chosen, select and paid for organization. If you have a problem with your sorority sisters, you confront them in an organized setting. If you are too scared to do so, being a neophyte, I can imagine how scared you are, then revoke your membership... Get expelled or go inactive. And once you make that decision, do not back down. We are all adults making adult choices.

Blaming your lack of family familiarity and experience shows that you lack trust and support from your own members who actually saw you as an asset to the organization! One of my closest friends who is a member of DST, practically became chapter president within 5 years of her membership!!! She was that well put together. It is my understanding she connected up with what her International Organization requested all chapters were to do at the time...

That is a matter of KNOWING YOUR DOCUMENTS!!! How well do you know yours? Constitution & Bylaws? Other documents all members must know? Who are your mentors within your organization--locally, regionally, Internationally?

I could see if you had 20 years under your belt and were burnt out... But 4 years? Wow!!! After 4 years, I felt like I was still pledging for the hayle I caught... I did not feel like full-fledge member until 10 years of membership!!!

Get it together and stop disrespecting your sorority sisters publicly!

[humblerumble]

I appreciate your response. To answer your questions, I know my Constitution and Bylaws front to back. I know my history front to back, I know my past and current officers front to back. This is part of the reason why I AM so down. Because I've given so much to this org, and I feel like it's just not for me.

As far as what's being done publicly, I've not named my org, anyone's names, etc., as my intention is not to be inflammatory and rude. It was to come here and vent HONESTLY about what I feel.

That's all. I'm not here to debate whether or not I have the RIGHT to these feelings, or the right to voice them, because I do. I'm not here to debate 4years of membership vs 10. There are some people that do more work in 2 years than someone who's been around for 40! It's not about any of that. It's not about putting my expectations on others. I feel as a member of an org, I am a representative of the whole, and vice versa. I'm not happy with the reflection, that's all. And I'm not making excuses, I'm being honest. I've never blamed this choice on anyone. It was my fault for not educating myself, and I admit that.

I can turn in my letters, I can formally ask to resign, and be granted that request, but I can't then go to another org because the rules don't allow it. However, at the rate things are going with this org...they may not be around much longer, and I may be granted the option of going elsewhere, or I may not. Who knows...I'm just down in the dumps about this...that's all.


It's about the bottom line...that I came here merely to vent, and I thank you all for your responses.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

As far as what's being done publicly, I've not named my org . . . .

Not in so many words, but seriously, it's not hard at all to figure out what organization you're talking about.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

However, at the rate things are going with this org...they may not be around much longer, and I may be granted the option of going elsewhere, or I may not.

I seriously doubt that. I'm lane-swerving here, but with what I can see, I highly, highly doubt this statement. Sure, your particular chapter may not be around, but the organization will still exist. And I'm pretty sure a chapter losing it's charter doesn't grant you the opportunity to join another NPHC sorority.

Originally Posted by MexicanMami0286

Perhaps, you should consider joining another chapter. If you're in a metro area, you may have several to choose from or you could consider simply participating as a member-at-large and continue the work of your organization that way (or continue participating in the service you've been doing with other organizations).

Once again, not in the NPHC, so I'm not sure: but if things are unbearable for you locally, can't you do this?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

I appreciate your response. To answer your questions, I know my Constitution and Bylaws front to back. I know my history front to back, I know my past and current officers front to back. This is part of the reason why I AM so down. Because I've given so much to this org, and I feel like it's just not for me.

As far as what's being done publicly, I've not named my org, anyone's names, etc., as my intention is not to be inflammatory and rude. It was to come here and vent HONESTLY about what I feel.

That's all. I'm not here to debate whether or not I have the RIGHT to these feelings, or the right to voice them, because I do. I'm not here to debate 4years of membership vs 10. There are some people that do more work in 2 years than someone who's been around for 40! It's not about any of that. It's not about putting my expectations on others. I feel as a member of an org, I am a representative of the whole, and vice versa. I'm not happy with the reflection, that's all. And I'm not making excuses, I'm being honest. I've never blamed this choice on anyone. It was my fault for not educating myself, and I admit that.

I can turn in my letters, I can formally ask to resign, and be granted that request, but I can't then go to another org because the rules don't allow it. However, at the rate things are going with this org...they may not be around much longer, and I may be granted the option of going elsewhere, or I may not. Who knows...I'm just down in the dumps about this...that's all.


It's about the bottom line...that I came here merely to vent, and I thank you all for your responses.

Venting does not work. It fails to lead to resolution of issues. Days, months, years from now, you will still be ruminating about how "A" member treated you...

See, here's the thing, if you were denied membership, you'd be writing angry letters to the International office as to why you were blackballed!

So sad. Really, because it says something about how you view sisterhood in your Sorority through the lenses of your current chapter. What did you expect people would say here? You thought you had GC friends? You thought you could share this with random people where you could not feel you could share to your sorority sisters or to their faces? WTH? You don't trust your own sorority to do right by you?

That's really lame...

Please, turn in your letters... Save your Sorority the grief...

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

... The bottom line is that I feel like I noticed so much more after I came in...I'm sure we could all say the same about our respective orgs. And as far as duration goes, I've been going strong now for almost 4 years. It's pretty disheartening knowing I can never go back...

I believe that this (in bold) may be contributing to the perceived "defensiveness". Please do not speak for me. I'm happy and involved in my respective organization and active in making change for the better. Do the same or move on.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by Kansas City

I believe that this (in bold) may be contributing to the perceived "defensiveness". Please do not speak for me. I'm happy and involved in my respective organization and active in making change for the better. Do the same or move on.

Come on.... in the context of the sentence you quoted, she's just saying she knows more about the organization now than she did before initiation.

[Kansas City]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Come on.... in the context of the sentence you quoted, she's just saying she knows more about the organization now than she did before initiation.

Perhaps ,but I have a feeling that her views of not aligning with her selected org are probably not with the majority of GC and although I'm from a different counsel, I find it innapropriate to sterotype anyone as not enjoying/contributing/appreciating their membership.

[IlovemyAKA]

Originally Posted by humblerumble

But lets be clear folks...some things are a given!
Your hair should be combed
Your clothing should be well kept and clean
You are a representative of yourself, your greek family, your personal family, etc.
You should carry yourself like a lady with class. Extensive drinking, shouting, etc. is not necessary.
Being an "XYZ" does not make you better, but it should prompt you to be your best. If someone meets you and you tell them what org you are in, they should be impressed based on the way in which you speak and your overall appearance.

You say this yet it's safe to say that you pursued them.