Having a hard time getting over one I got dropped from?

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by etadrisophila

Grief about loss of the wished-for outcome is normal and expected.

However, if and when the grief becomes all-consuming, seek out professional counsel. If you are already at the all-consuming stage, it is time to make that call.

I agree with this advice. Given that ngsu has posted about past emotional concerns and troubles unrelated to recruitment, I am standing by my advice to please seek professional counseling on campus.

I think this goes beyond recruitment disappointment or "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence."

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by ngsu

I hate our hand signs and I hate a particular word in our name and want to cringe every time I say the full name of the sorority I'm in.

I don't think you're talking about my beloved Alpha Xi Delta, but our very unusual middle letter generally grabs women 1 of 2 ways - love it or hate it. But knowing what I do now about the meaning behind that particular letter, it kind of amazes me that no other sororities use it. I do have a guess about which sorority you're talking about (and by the way I have an idea about what school, so tread lightly). I love its colors and I'm sure that particular letter has very special and significant meaning. Besides, colors and letters make a ritual, not a sisterhood. You are foisting negative meaning and stigma where it doesn't exist to others.

My advice to you is suck it up. You are dealing with buyer's remorse and it will pass.

[Tulip86]

The grass is always greener...

Rejection is hard, especially in a time of your life when everything is in motion. New town, new state possibly, few friends and people who truly know you.
To have the feeling you click somewhere (remember, they might just be very good at rushing!) and not be 'accepted' is always hard. But please keep in mind that, although you had bad grades, these girls still wanted you and took a chance on you. They liked you so much the grades didn't matter. Now you have the chance to love them so much the others don't matter.
I agree with the social media aspect of things, don't look at the pictures and post of the other sorority. In life and social media always know that you're comparing your life to other people's highlight reel.

I truly hope you soon forget about the other one and dive headfirst into your sorority experience.

[ChioLu]

Originally Posted by ngsu

I hate our hand signs and I hate a particular word in our name and want to cringe every time I say the full name of the sorority I'm in.

Or ... every time I see the quatrefoil hand sign, I think how difficult that is to do & how impressed how the women master the sign. And the 2nd word can MISTAKENLY be pronounced as the sound a farm animal makes.

If it's this GLO, this organization is growing at hyperspeed and has more new and upcoming chapters than almost any other GLO in the nation. They are going fullthrottle strong and you should be proud to be invited to join.

Whichever group it is, give it a chance for you to fall in love with them.
They have (obviously) already fallen in love with YOU.

[ngsu]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

Are you a freshman? Have you just moved away from home for the first time, along with going through sorority recruitment?

I'm a sophomore, so I think that's what makes it harder is getting to know so many girls throughout the year. I ended up transferring, so I already kind of went in knowing a thing or two about sororities even though I knew the least about this one, overall. This sorority is the one I knew the absolute least about.

[ngsu]

Originally Posted by thetalady

I have to admit that I am just sputtering over this. YOU ARE FRIGGING KIDDING ME!! Do you remember NOTHING that you said prior to rush?? How you had a low GPA and were not sure that any sorority would give you a bid? How you were open minded & would be so happy to accept a bid to any house?





Which window did all of those statemetns get flung out of?

Apparently you took not a WORD of our advice last time. Why ask us for more?

BTW, ladies, remember to QFP!

That doesn't mean that I have no right to be upset. My GPA was actually not low at all even though I was told on here it was. It doesn't mean that I shouldn't be at all disappointed. I went through rush and fell in love with a sorority and really, really liked others a little more and am just disappointed. I'm thankful that I got into one, yes. Do I love the girls I've met so far? Yes. But that doesn't mean that there's not a part of me that's upset.

But you guys are right, they could have just been good rushers.

[ngsu]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

The QFP's don't trouble me. A lot of things in life are easier said than done. You can be completely sincere in your intent to feel a certain way, and still be hit in the face with feelings you didn't expect. You might even say that it's brave for a person to admit that she wasn't as thick-skinned as she thought she was, and to ask for help that she previously said she wouldn't need.

Exactly! Thank you very much.

[ngsu]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I agree with this advice. Given that ngsu has posted about past emotional concerns and troubles unrelated to recruitment, I am standing by my advice to please seek professional counseling on campus.

I think this goes beyond recruitment disappointment or "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence."

It's really not that bad. I'm not totally beyond myself over it, because like I said I am thankful that I got into a sorority and I love the girls that I've met and that's not what I have the problem with. The problem more is about being upset over not getting into the other one and wondering why and not knowing what I did that was wrong. It's just the what is and the could be's.

No, it wasn't my bottom choice. I actually had transferred this summer and I'm not even at that school anymore. It just wasn't one that I had fallen in love with during recruitment, and it didn't really start to grow on me until pref day. I'm loving the girls I meet, but it's just still hard to wonder why and try to get over it.

But thank you to those of you on here that have truly been sweet to me and not try to embarrass me or be rude towards me. I'm very appreciative of that.

[Titchou]

There is very likely nothing you did wrong. They have to release X number of women. At some point, the reasons can be almost indistinguishable. Maybe there were 5 of you left and they could only take one more so they threw a dart, flipped a coin. Who knows? No one will every tell you. You need to accept that you are never going to know - and you really don't want to. Honest. It just wasn't in the cards. Keep this in mind:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change those I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Take care.

[lovespink88]

You're not the first to feel this way. You will not be the last.

There is nothing you can change about your outcome with the other chapter, so at this point it's best to focus on what you do have. Overtime it will hurt less.

Good luck and enjoy your new member period!

[navane]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I agree with this advice. Given that ngsu has posted about past emotional concerns and troubles unrelated to recruitment, I am standing by my advice to please seek professional counseling on campus.

I think this goes beyond recruitment disappointment or "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence."

I have to agree with my sister here. The OP has shared about her past troubles and may struggle with how to keep things in perspective.

Yes, it stings when something that was hoped for doesn't come to fruition. However, agonizing over it doesn't change what's happened. My sincere advice for you, ngsu, is to lick your wounds and then go make the very best of what your sorority has to offer. If after a few weeks you are still struggling with these thoughts, I do earnestly encourage you to seek out counseling at your campus health center. There's nothing wrong with chatting with a neutral third person who can help you sort out your feelings and put things into perspective.

Best wishes to you.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I do have a guess about which sorority you're talking about (and by the way I have an idea about what school, so tread lightly). I love its colors and I'm sure that particular letter has very special and significant meaning. Besides, colors and letters make a ritual, not a sisterhood. You are foisting negative meaning and stigma where it doesn't exist to others.

That particular horse left the barn a while ago... the OP has made it quite obvious which sorority this is, too. How hurtful, if any of her sisters read her comments.

[cinder1965]

I am clueless as to what school or what sorority this girl is talking about, you all are good!!

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I do have a guess about which sorority you're talking about (and by the way I have an idea about what school, so tread lightly). I love its colors and I'm sure that particular letter has very special and significant meaning. Besides, colors and letters make a ritual, not a sisterhood. You are foisting negative meaning and stigma where it doesn't exist to others.

My advice to you is suck it up. You are dealing with buyer's remorse and it will pass.

Originally Posted by thetalady

That particular horse left the barn a while ago... the OP has made it quite obvious which sorority this is, too. How hurtful, if any of her sisters read her comments.

? I must totally be missing something...

Regardless, there are things about my sorority that I was a little "eh" about at first, but then you learn more and find out the meaning behind things, and suddenly you can have an entirely new perspective. Colors are colors, and letters are letters, but what it all comes down to is with whom you share those colors and letters. Your sisters make the sorority, and every single chapter of every single sorority has something great to offer.

[Cheerio]

Originally Posted by ngsu

I just went through sorority recruitment and thankfully got into a great sorority.

Any advice would be great, please. Thank you.

Edited for clarity, you've given yourself wonderful feedback.

At birth, you are born into a nuclear family WITHIN the family of man.

You have now been accepted into a sorority WITHIN the family of sororities called NPC (National Panhellenic Conference).