Mizzou Recruitment

[Tigeralum]

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by Tigeralum

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

As far as what went wrong...it's a big recruitment. There is definitely such a thing as slipping through the cracks, especially for an out of state PNM.

[33girl]

Hanging around with only sorority women is not going to help right now. I'm not saying dump them as friends - she shows great maturity and class in NOT doing that - but it's kind of like hanging out with all newlyweds right after you go through a breakup. She needs to branch out and make some additional friends that will help her see things from a different AND POSITIVE vantage point.

[MIZparent]

Originally Posted by Tigeralum

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Mizzou PHA did say 3.0-3.499 was the "yellow light" zone, and PNM's were encouraged to have a 3.5 GPA before recruitment. COB is still an option, especially if she earns a strong GPA this semester.

I do have a question. You say she was only released by two chapters after Round 1, and only one out of those seven invited her back after Round 2. At Mizzou, PNM's may visit up to 11 chapters during the second round. There are 15 chapters at Mizzou, so if she only had seven invitations for Round 2, that would mean eight houses released her after Round 1, not two houses. When your daughter is referring to total invitations and being released by chapters, is she talking about all houses, or just the ones she would be interested in pledging?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by MIZparent

Mizzou PHA did say 3.0-3.499 was the "yellow light" zone, and PNM's were encouraged to have a 3.5 GPA before recruitment. COB is still an option, especially if she earns a strong GPA this semester.

I do have a question. You say she was only released by two chapters after Round 1, and only one out of those seven invited her back after Round 2. At Mizzou, PNM's may visit up to 11 chapters during the second round. There are 15 chapters at Mizzou, so if she only had seven invitations for Round 2, that would mean eight houses released her after Round 1, not two houses. When your daughter is referring to total invitations and being released by chapters, is she talking about all houses, or just the ones she would be interested in pledging?

At this point, I don't see that as relevant or helpful to this parent. You're pointing out the obvious; we can all do the math. We can Monday Morning Quarterback, and perform autopsies, but at the end of the day it's finished for this PNM. The PNM is asking her mother "what went wrong?" and since NONE of us were in the chapters during Membership Selection (which is private) we can't answer that question.

[Momoftiger]

Originally Posted by Tigeralum

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I have missed these recent posts. All of the spam prevented me from noticing any activity on this thread. All I can say is I am so sorry to hear that your daughter had this experience (and you as well because as moms, we feel their pain too). I hear that this was not uncommon-- happening to way too many girls. My daughter's roommate had such a similar experience I had to double check that you were not from the same hometown. I know her roommate is trying to get involved in other campus activities right now which is helping. I hope your daughter finds her niche while she is waiting on informal rush to start. 💜

[Tigeralum]

MIZparent, I must be confused about the round numbers. Mon and Tues she visited 15 houses. She was cut by 2 of them. She then picked the 11 houses she wanted to go back to on Wed and Thurs. Thurs night she preffed 7 houses and Fri morning was only invited back to 1. She released herself that morning. Does that make sense?

[MIZparent]

Originally Posted by Tigeralum

MIZparent, I must be confused about the round numbers. Mon and Tues she visited 15 houses. She was cut by 2 of them. She then picked the 11 houses she wanted to go back to on Wed and Thurs. Thurs night she preffed 7 houses and Fri morning was only invited back to 1. She released herself that morning. Does that make sense?

Maybe confused about the rounds? Lord knows, I couldn't keep them straight.

I knew I would probably get some grief about that question, but I asked so I could get an idea of how many released her in the first round, and I was a little confused by how you explained it. Anyhow... My guess is her grades, even though a 3.4+ is a very good GPA. I get a sense there is a reluctance at Mizzou for the pledge classes to get as big as they are at other universities like Arkansas and Alabama, and maybe they are using a higher GPA grade cut off to keep the numbers down? A 3.5 and above is a fairly high green light. Maybe someone has more insight into that than I do in regards to that?

I don't think she did anything wrong. From reports in local news outlets, this incoming freshman class at Mizzou (not just PNM's) is considered one of the smartest and accomplished classes they've ever had (make sure she knows she's included in that assessment!). She just ran into a lot of competition, and perhaps missed the cut at some of these houses by just a few places on their invite lists.

In any case, if she is still interested in pledging, make sure she fills out that COB form on the PHA website. It's only good for one semester, so she'll need to fill it out again in January if she doesn't COB with a chapter this fall. One of the chapters is already listed on the PHA website as COB'ing right now. Good luck.

[Tigeralum]

Thank you to everyone who has replied on this thread or sent me a private message. I'm touched by the amount of support and advice I have received in just a few hours. This forum is exactly what I needed! I'm so thankful I stumbled across it.

[DubaiSis]

Unfortunately, what you would have gotten, had you come to GC before rush is a lecture in managing expectations. The cuts can be brutal and really emotionally devastating if she lets it. And clearly she did. That sucks but I'm glad you didn't break down and take her home.

The good news is there will be other opportunities, in COB (probably) and as a sophomore next year. Tell her to keep her chin up, keep her grades and her reputation pristine, be involved and make friends. And not being Greek isn't the end of the world there.

Best of luck to both of you.

[IndianaSigKap]

Tigeralum,

Please keep stressing to you daughter than she did nothing wrong and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Every process has its imperfections and recruitment may be poster child for imperfections.

I suspect that her GPA was indeed the downfall. If her GPA was in the 3.4 range with AP and IB classes, it is not out of a possible 4.0. It may have been a 3.4 out of 5.0 or 6.0. When her GPA was re-figured on a 4.0 scale, it may have been considerably lower. That is one of the downfalls to weighted grades. It gives students a false sense of GPA because they forget that most colleges are converting to 4.0 scale but noting that the student did participate in AP and IB.

There should be COB opportunities in the spring if her college GPA is good. These friends in sororities can let her know second semester if their chapters have openings and invite her to events. It is normal for chapters to lose women to early graduation, study abroad and internships over break. Hopefully, she will be able to take advantage of those connections.

Best wishes to both of you!

[Tigeralum]

Thanks again to everyone who has replied on this thread or sent me a private message. My daughter seems to be enjoying Mizzou although she hasn't given up her hope of being in a sorority. She absolutely loves her major so thank goodness for that. She is getting involved with other organizations on campus. She says she is going to get a 4.0 this semester(fingers crossed) so she can try to COB this spring. I think it's too early right now even though PHA has several sororities listed as currently participating.
I do have a lot of questions about the COB process. I get the feeling that some sororities do not advertise if they are participating. My daughter did register for informal recruitment this semester. I understand she will have to do it again second semester. Should she also email the houses directly? Even the houses that aren't posted on PHA? She has made a lot of friends in sororities as I mentioned in my original post. From what little knowledge I have on COB none of the houses her friends are in participate in it. I told her...you never know...tell your friends to keep their ears to the ground just in case.

[33girl]

Some sororities only have a few spots open and it is far easier on both sides to not publicize it - for the sorority so they do not have to throw large parties and for the rushees so that dozens of girls do not get their hopes up for one or two spots. The best thing she can do is keep her friends aware of her interest.

[DubaiSis]

To answer a few of your questions, no she shouldn't email the chapters directly. Only a very few would be doing anything this fall and a few more than that in the spring. As 33girl said, she should express interest to her friends, but don't beat it to death. She very well may have to wait until next fall, but it's great if she will allow herself to be open to the options available to her sooner than that. Do keep in mind that the most competitive chapters will likely NOT be participating in any informal rush but as has been abundantly clear, all of the chapters there are great and she'd have a great time in any of them.

[mumomm]

Hello! Love to hear some updates from everyone since recruitment!