Open Letter V - Page 13

stardusttwin · #1 11-16-2004, 03:54 PM

didn't know if to post here or in the dead wrong thread

To sista girl on the train yesterday:

I'm not going to clown you for your two tone weave...silky on tHe ends rough at the crown...

I'm not going to clown you for taking make up application classes at Drag Queens Inc (no need for that much makeup during the day)

I won't even comment on your imitation of Joe Camel because CLEARLY you were enjoying the heck out of that piece of Dentyne...

but sista friend...woman to woman..if you insist on wearing knee high boots with a mini skirt and no stockings PUT SOME VASELINE ON YOUR ASHY KNEES!!

aurora_borealis · #2 11-16-2004, 05:34 PM

Confidential to BGA,

Bombs are flying
People are dying
Children are crying
Politicians are lying too.

Cancer is killing
Texaco's spilling
The whole world's gone to hell
But how are you?

I'm super
Thanks for asking
All things considered
I couldn't be better I must say

I'm feeling super
No, nothing bugs me
Everything is super when you're
Don't you think I look cute in this hat

I'm so sorry
Mr. Cripple
But I just can't feel too bad for you right now.
Because I'm feeling
So insanely super
That even the fact that you can't walk
Can't bring me down

[Background singers:]
He's super
Thanks for asking
All things considered
He couldn't be better he must say

[Big Gay Al:]
I'm super
No, nothing bugs me
Everything is super when you're
Don't you think I look cute in this hat
These little pants, this matching tie
That I got at Vogue

I'm super

[Background singers:]
In the barracks and the trenches as well

[Big Gay Al:]
Stick 'em up.

[Background singers:]
Big Gay Al says do ask do tell

[Big Gay Al:]
Skittles

[Background singers:]
Yes he's super and he's proud to be gay

[Big Gay Al:]
OK

[Background singers:]
Everything is super when you're gay!
When you're gay!

AngelicWings21 · #3 11-17-2004, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by stardusttwin
didn't know if to post here or in the dead wrong thread

To sista girl on the train yesterday:

I'm not going to clown you for your two tone weave...silky on tHe ends rough at the crown...

I'm not going to clown you for taking make up application classes at Drag Queens Inc (no need for that much makeup during the day)

I won't even comment on your imitation of Joe Camel because CLEARLY you were enjoying the heck out of that piece of Dentyne...

but sista friend...woman to woman..if you insist on wearing knee high boots with a mini skirt and no stockings PUT SOME VASELINE ON YOUR ASHY KNEES!!

LMAO....lawd drinking some tea and reading this ....is not a good combo....ASHY KNEE's.....
somebody get the chic...some Jergens Ash Relief.....

OrangeMoon · #4 11-17-2004, 11:12 PM

To the two dudes dressed like women at he dollar store: You had me fooled for abut five seconds until I peeped them hands and the way one of you couldn't walk in heels. Then I thought it was a joke until I seent da shaving cream you were purchasing.

MaMaBuddha · #5 11-19-2004, 08:33 AM

let go and let God.

to the young lady that i took on a field trip to the native american indian museum in nyc...

let me tell you.

yesterday, as you acted out in the musuem, i wanted to smack the hell out of you. for you to be 16 years old and that ignorant to curse around toddlers, the 4 and 5 year olds seem to know how to act better then you when out in public. it's a shame.

when we left the museum and went to look for a co-worker that recently had a stroke and you indicated that is not your problem. i wanted to beat you down and throw gasoline on you and light a fire to your little fresh behind.

when we went to mcdonald's and you had a fit in front of the cashier and called me a witch with a Capital B. I replied if you see a witch with a Capital B, then smack a witch with a Capital B. you almost touch my face and i almost broke your fingers and replied that perhaps it would be worth losing my job touching you, because you have never made it pass me to escape mcdonalds.

with this i must exhale and remember when you call me a B*tch, that's Mz. B*tch to you!!!!

HeartbrAKA · #6 11-20-2004, 09:16 PM

To

DET: stop showing up at my house unannounced. One of these days you won't like what you see.....
And stop blowing up my phone. I've had to screen my calls on my cell for the last few days and unplug my home phone because of you. You ain't slick either, calling me from an "unknown id". Guess what, I'm still not answering. While I do hope that you get your life together and the help you need, I don't need the drama. I have my own life, and a son to raise, with no help from you. Thanks. Dude I can't fix it. And for the love of all that is holy stop referring to me as "boo" we are not together, nor are we in junior high. And you are not Usher.

ELF: I love you but you need to quit playing.

Aunt B: for the last time, I do not have your bootleg copies of "My Baby's Daddy", or "Johnson's Family Vacation". I have NEVER seen those movies and have NO desire to. Check with your son please, thanks. Oh and stop being mean to my grandmother. The way you talk to her is disgraceful. She's old, and she's your mother. I'm sorry you think it's unfair that you have to take care of her, but she does not deserve to be treated like a child. God is watching.

CrimsonTide4 · #7 11-21-2004, 05:21 PM

To Allstate: Thanks for sending me another refund check.

Love you lots.

To the Fat Albert Bama behind me today: Mofo, why did you blow that horn? I know I was NEXT for right of way but NOT when the lady is turning in front of me. You were probably headed to Krispy Kreme.

MeezDiscreet · #8 11-21-2004, 07:13 PM

to condeleeza rice: look, in some areas, i respect you for doing yo' thang. i may not like how you do it and i shol' don't like who you do it for. but in the name of all that is wonderful about black women, GIT YO' HAIR DID!! that one-bump look played out in '83. the swoop you sport was laid to rest around '97--it had a good run but we don't/won't/can't/shouldn't do it anymore. i mean, at least get a layer or two cut in it. maybe even some highlights. come on down here to houston and my cousin can get yo' isht TIGHT! trust me!

and i don't want to sound ugly here, but i got 4 words for you: in.vis.a.lign. girl, splurge. you can afford it!!

exquizit · #9 11-21-2004, 08:58 PM

To my company: you guys suck and are evil in the way you treat your customers. I understand that sales are sales but please make the customer fully aware of what they're getting.

To B: I'm proud of you and I'm hard on you when I have to be just to make you stronger.

To M: Scratch a lie find a thief

To UR : Suck it up and stop moaning You're single, nothin to take care of except your own sorry azz. GET OVER IT! Ain't no body give me SHNIT!

To D: Why do you continue to let these cows kick you in the arse

To S: if your friendship comes with som many rules and regulations I guess it's simply not REAL FRIENDSHIP.

tnxbutterfly · #10 11-22-2004, 12:48 AM

To the Texas Workforce Commission (aka the umemployment office): Thanks for siding with me. I appreciate you taking the time to hear my case and decided what was fair.

To my ex-place of employment: You knew you were wrong. You realized that I was costing you money. I understand you had to do what you had to do,but dragging my rep through the mud like that just was not cool.

To all the places I've sent applications out to: I know the holidays are fast approaching so could you please hire a sista. I'd much apperciate it

Ideal08 · #11 11-22-2004, 11:10 AM

FedEx call center representatives:

1) If you don't like your job, quit.

2) Don't get mad when I take YOUR tone with you. You started it. It's 9 o'clock in the friggin' morning. I'm not a morning person. Don't dish it out if you can't take it.

3) Don't assume some things are self-explanatory. Some things are new to some companies. We don't know everything about FedEx; that's your job. Educate the customer, don't get an attitude.

4) If someone doesn't call me about that package, there is going to be a serious problem.

5) Clearly, it's not that deep. The FedEx Express guy gets the packages out of the drop box. He realizes one of them is actually FedEx Ground. Sooooooo, he has to go back to base, and I'm sure he dropped off that package with FedEx Groud. Soooooooo, where is it????

6) HC what's going to happen is CutiePie FedEx is going to have to hear about this, and it's clearly not even his fault. Either that or my sales guy. But clearly, someone is going to find that package and deliver it.

7) How is it that some home deliveries can go FedEx express and some have to go Ground? WTF? How am I supposed to know which goes where when? See #3.

8) I'm trying to have a good Monday, but y'all bamas are makin' it hella hard.

Rain Man · #12 11-22-2004, 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MeezDiscreet
to condeleeza rice: look, in some areas, i respect you for doing yo' thang. i may not like how you do it and i shol' don't like who you do it for. but in the name of all that is wonderful about black women, GIT YO' HAIR DID!! that one-bump look played out in '83. the swoop you sport was laid to rest around '97--it had a good run but we don't/won't/can't/shouldn't do it anymore. i mean, at least get a layer or two cut in it. maybe even some highlights. come on down here to houston and my cousin can get yo' isht TIGHT! trust me!

and i don't want to sound ugly here, but i got 4 words for you: in.vis.a.lign. girl, splurge. you can afford it!!

To Condoleezza Rice: Don't listen to MeezDiscreet,

you holdin' it down just fine, 80s look and all. If I was 20 years older, I'd holla at you (shoot, I'd holla at 'cha right here and now at 31, age is nothin' but mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't matter).

PS: Happy belated 50th birthday. Hope you had a lot of fun.

MeezDiscreet · #13 11-22-2004, 11:40 PM

to rain man: whateva. if you like it then i love it...

Honeykiss1974 · #14 11-24-2004, 01:42 PM

To Eddy's Toyota: See, this is why I DO NOT frequent you for my car's maintenance or repairs. You are extortionist!

The service you do cost half the price at my regular spot (Midas). But because of circustances out of my control, I had to go to you this morning and because of your outlandish prices, there goes my after thanksgiving day sale money.

ladylike · #15 11-24-2004, 02:48 PM

to the person who introduced the word "hater" into the lexicon of slang: I hate you with a passion...a burning passion that can only be put out by a big glass of red kool-aid.

87yr.old woman in line in front of me at Wendy's: Don't mean mug me...I aint too shame to beat up the elderly.

Big Dane from Pimp My Ride: *drool* Ummmmmmmmm, Biiiiiiiiiig Daaaaaannnne.