"Is your child a goth?"

[Lil' Hannah]

Is Your Child a Goth? Presented by St. Mary's Church

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that
young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer,
and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.

-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates.

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.


If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

-St. Mary's Catholic Church

I might be a goth

[moe.ron]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

[Munchkin03]

I am SUCH a Goth...and I didn't even know it!

Now I think I'm going to buy some Count Chocula. I'm going to HELL!

LOLLERSKATES!

[Lil' Hannah]

[_Opi_]

I match 5+ on that list.

guess I'm goth as well.

[ZTAngel]

Is this for real?????

Half of those things on the list are something every normal teenager does (ie: sleeping excessively, eats excessively, insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult, etc.).

[moe.ron]

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates.

Well, that describe vast majority of the teenagers out there.

[PhoenixAzul]

This is *not* real, however, it is the attitude of many a conservative christian out there. As a "punk", I can say that it's pretty damned annoying.

[KSig RC]

BAHAHAHA - I'm picturing pedmall rats panhandling, listening to My Bloody Valentine, and eating Count Chocula (note that this originally said "masturbating" but most goths are brutal) . . .

I am glad, however, that my child's choice in music/shitty trends may lead to "meditating with the demon spirits" - rock.

[Lil' Hannah]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
Is this for real?????

Yeah I dunno, I found it on another website.

[astroAPhi]

Originally posted by kappaloo

eta2 ... enlist your child into your local mental health center. <- HAHAHHA ... can you imagine being the poor person at the health center who would have to deal with parents like these?

Ok, but if your kid is cutting, they really do need help.

I love it when other Christians make me embarassed to be one too.

Oh, but:

Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

Bwahahaha.

Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.

Because odd gold jewelry is ok?

Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

But if your child is watching cable, doesn't that mean the parents have cable too?

[moe.ron]

I can not post on this site any longer. I can not be associated with heathens.

[Munchkin03]

"Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch."

Ah, yes! Because thinking for oneself is WRONG, just go to your church to find out how to parent your children! Isn't this just the greatest?

This specific list could be totally fake, but we could no doubt unearth a real one that would rival this one in being totally LUDACRIS.

[cashmoney]

What kind of idiot comes up with these lists?

[TigerLilly]

Count Chocula: The Cereal of Satan