Changing your name

[aephi alum]

I tacked my husband's last name onto my own, keeping my middle name and maiden name as my two midle names. I go by Ms. (not Mrs.) Hislastname.

Why? I feel very close to him and his family. I had only been working for about a year, so I didn't have a pressing professional need to keep the same name. Plus his last name is very distinctive, and I like it better than my maiden name. I thought about hyphenating, but his name is just too darn long!

What really irritates me is when people address things to "Mrs. Hisfirstname Hislastname." I took his last name, not his first! I am told that "Mrs. Herfirstname Hislastname" would indicate that she is divorced... which is part of why I use Ms. rather than Mrs.

Each couple should decide for themselves what to do about their last name - whether it's the "traditional" she-takes-his-name, she keeps her maiden name, she keeps her maiden name professionally but changes it socially, he takes her name, one or both of them hyphenate, or they both change to a new last name. Massachusetts makes this very easy: On the marriage certificate, there is a column for the groom and another for the bride. Each party states their full name, then underneath is the surname after marriage. So people can do whatever they want, and I think that's as it should be.