Wow, what a great topic and one that hits so close to the heart for me for I have had self-esteem problems for the longest time. And the worst part of it is, the more I recognize the problems in myself, the worse I feel about them. what a circle!
I can't say the cause of the way I feel, because I'm not sure what it is, and I doubt it's just one cause anyway. My mother, like Wynna's, just recently told me she I was pretty and she was proud of me, because she could see how I was feeling. But I don't know if I can put this one on my mother . . . My entire personality was built around academics. It was all I felt I could do properly, so when a HUGE academic failure came (i'm still too embarassed to talk about it), it was like I lost all of who I am. And weaknesses that were already in me just, well, plummetted (sp?) to to their depths.
I have started the process of getting better, but it seems like an awfully long one, so long I can't see the end of it. I stopped pressing my hair and learned to appreciate its natural beauty and the beauty of my body as a whole. Most importantly, I try not to talk about what I think is wrong with me all the time. Talking about it doesn't make it any better and people get tired of listening to it. So I was really feeling Erica Badu's song telling the bag ladies to let it go because that was me.
Well, anyway, just thought I'd ramble a little. I can't believe I just told this to a public forum . . .
[This message has been edited by mwedzi (edited August 21, 2000).]
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