To the valet drivers: Why do you take so long to bring me my car? For goodness sake, I work in this building and you see me EVERYDAY, but somehow when I come out to wait on my car you forget who I am and have me wait 10 or more minutes while everyone else just walks up to their open doors. Then you have the nerve to look surprised when you don't get a tip?!?! Here's a tip, have my car waiting for me when I get off of work like you do for the lawyers and executives. I'm just as important as they are and we all pay the same price.
To the bellman: Stop flirting! You see the ring on my finger. You see my husband. So just give up. It's not fun, you're not cute, leave me alone!!!
To Musiq Soulchild: I love your album. You are the reason I like having a CD player in my car. Without you, the drive to work would be so monotonous.
To my manager: Stop eating onions before our one-on-one meetings. Or if you must eat them, schedule our meeting before you go to lunch.
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