Would you date someone with a "mental condition"?

[AXJules]

Originally posted by absolutuscchick
I again remembered how close-minded people can be. I have to say that I think that Dionysus's initial post was kind of hurtful. And the same for AXJules.

What in my post was hurtful? I said I would not be with someone who is a danger to me or others. I listed two diseases which bring out extreme behavior in people- it is in my best interest not to be in a relationship with someone like that.

I can't even imagine choosing not to date someone because they told me of a mental illness.

Again, my personal choice. A person's race doesn't affect their ability to be a good boyfriend; certain mental diseases do. **Notice I said CERTAIN.**

Think about what you are doing when you do that. Obviously, they trust you enough to let you in on some problems. If you were to reject them after that, can you only imagine how much that hurts? Obviously not. You are too busy thinking about yourself.

Can you imagine how much it hurts when someone you love is laughing and crying and yelling at you at the same time?? Can you imagine how much it hurts to have someone irrationally lash out at you, or hurt you physically, and you don't know why? That is NOT being self centered. That's knowing what's good for you and what isn't. Why do you think that's any different than being with someone that's abusive?? **AGAIN, I'M NOT SAYING ALL PEOPLE ARE LIKE THIS. I'M SAYING THIS IS HOW I FEEL IF THE PERSON HAD A SEVERE CASE- AND MANY DO.** And, wouldn't you say it's a little self centered to know you're harming someone else and jump in the relationship anyway? It goes both ways.
And, you make it sound like, anyone with a mental illness automatically deserves a significant other. God bless you for having to deal with what you deal with, I'm sure it's not easy, but that doesn't mean I have to agree to go out with you. Just to spare your feelings I'm going to agree to be your girlfriend? Like that wouldn't lead to worse problems down the road....Are you attracted to people in wheelchairs? What about someone with no legs? They have it pretty f'ing hard too.....so using your logic you better be dating all of them to make their day a little easier. That doesn't make any sense.

Just because you had ONE experience with someone who was depressed and they didnt take their medicine, do you have to generalize and group every person with a mental illness together, even if that person is on medication, and seemingly well put-together?? And what do you do if someone gets depressed for a few days? Do you run away, like an immature child, scared, because you can't handle it? Or do you behave like a mature adult, and accept it as part of that person?

. Again, I never said all people with depression were like that. Re-read my post- I said it was a horrible experience and I can't imagine being with anyone with a WORSE illness. WORSE. Not SAME. Depression is unbelievably common- many times the person that has it doesn't even know. I didn't rule it out, just said that it's a red flag for me. Personally. And, I do not want this to turn into a personal attack b/c I think this is a great discussion, so I am really biting my tongue here, but how dare you claim that those of us who are "healthy" (and I know you were referring to me) run away like scared children b/c we can't handle it. You know nothing about me-nothing- and I sat by for 2 years as someone I loved more than anything else on Earth hurt me, others, and basically self destructed. It was everything I could do to get him help. You say that all of us are being judgemental but you have a lot of harsh things to say for someone who's so 'open minded'.

ALSO...what happens if someone you love all the sudden develops one of those said illnesses (many, esp. bipolar and schizophrenia, don't manifest themselves until adulthood)?? Do you just leave them because you are too scared to deal with it? Because thats the vibe I'm getting from people on this message board....and frankly it shocks me that anyone could be that close-minded.

The question was WOULD YOU DATE someone with a mental illness. Not "would you marry a seemingly healthy person, only to have them develop a mental illness, and then leave them for someone better." And, in advance, no I would never desert someone like that. But to know in advance that that's what they're dealing with.....in situations, no I would probably not get involved.