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You poor thing--- That is so hard to go through. I am sure your sisters in your chapter can help you through it. My cousin is from your chapter, Wendy Hatcher, and she has spoken of all the great things about your sisterhood. Actually, I never would have rushed if it had not been for her and her Phi Mu stories at Valdosta.
I am in a similar situlation and will have to get genetic testing to see if I can have a healthy baby with my future husband (he has a genetic recessive kidney disease that is one of the most common genetic diseases that occurs). Most people with his condition do not survive to be born and he has already had two transplants.
While I can understand the desire to have your own child, there are so many options available today. You can use a surrogate egg, adopt, or foster children, options I have considered myself. I can only imagine your personal pain at this moment. Please, do not feel like you are any less of a wonderful, beautiful woman or mother.
I suggest to see a counselor about it. Maybe someone in your church or close to you and your fiance. That way you could hammer out all the possible decisions and emotions and hopefully, bring you two together.
I hope you do not mind a "non phi mu" responding to your delicate post. If you ever want anyone to talk to, please, do not hesitate
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