Why we make effort to keep friends?

Contact · #1 02-16-2003, 12:56 PM

I sometimes wonder why friends keep in touch with each other? Why make all that effort when one has so much to do? We need them for the following maybe?

to pass our free time?
for company?
for networking?
for business information?
to use them?
borrow stuff or money when in need?
tell people you are well-connected?
use your friend's connections sometimes?
So that they can tell something good about you to others?
Job referrals?
sport partners?
rich family?
swear together?
join your club?
convert them to your religion?
see your friends wife/ sisters?
stock/horse tips?

I want to hear your thinking straight from the heart?

librasoul22 · #2 02-16-2003, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Contact
[B]
swear together?

see your friends wife/ sisters?

stock/horse tips?

Are you high? Does anyone ponder this on a daily basis? And what is up with these 3 options? RANDOM.

Tom Earp · #3 02-16-2003, 03:03 PM

Librasoul, I was wondering the same thing!

If anyone wonders, we all have a lot of friends. But, How many are the closest of Friends!

I Cannot count all of my friends, but I can count my very closest on one hand!

Those are the ones that you can call on in a time of need, no matter what. It also goes both ways in their time of need no matter what!

Optimist Prime · #4 02-16-2003, 05:03 PM

Thats not nice, guys. This is a serious thread. I think about that stuff too.

DigitalAngel126 · #5 02-16-2003, 05:23 PM

Well...I think a lot of people may agree with this. I have a SHITE ton of friendly aquaintances....But very few good friends, less than I can count on two hands. I used to go on the basis of all these people being my 'friends' and then having a 'best friend', but then I started pondering the aforementioned reasons. After I got to thinking, I figured a friend worth having is a friend worth having for reasons other than the ones here. I know my best friensd are my friends because they understand me and love me anyways...Because we can be together and have a good time just being in each other's company...Because we would do anything for each other and not think twice about it....This will be long if I go on, but my point being: I don't keep 'friends' as prospects for other things...I may be friendly with them, but ... yeah. Makes me sound like a bia, huH?

Hootie · #6 02-17-2003, 12:52 AM

My best friend and I have been friends since high school...and known each other longer than that. We've drifted apart a few times but our paths always lead back to each other.

I've noticed that as I get older the amount of "true friends" dwindles but it doesn't matter because I'd rather have a hand full of true friends than a large amount of aquaintences!

justamom · #7 02-17-2003, 07:55 AM

Contact, I think your list is more a description of acquaintances than friendship. Not to say those things might not be a byproduct, but I don't see them as the reasons behind a friendship.

I'll never have friends as close to my heart as I did in college. Yet the circumstances can never be replicated. In many ways, I wish I did have the "Steel Magnolia" or "Ya Ya Sisterhood" history with a few of the ladies here, but being the mobile society we are, it's difficult at best to keep those kind of ties strong and unencumbered. (I didn't say impossible or that new, deep friendships couldn't be made.) Too often, it's more like "The Big Chill" where you are brought together and though you still feel love, so much has changed that the reasons you were friends don't exist anymore.

For me, a new friend is someone who I have time for (and she for me) and we have a common interest. A part of her brings out ME. Not Mrs.________ or Baby Girl's/Baby Boy's Mom, or so and so's sister, but -insert maiden name-the person I was before my circumstances changed. The older you get, the harder that is to find.

KSig RC · #8 02-17-2003, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Contact
I sometimes wonder why friends keep in touch with each other? Why make all that effort when one has so much to do?

Maybe I'm just in a bad mood, but . . .

What the fuck are you talking about?

The only way one can justify his place in the world is to live a life fully dedicated to others. Friends are people you've invested yourself in, and if you can't find time in your busy schedule to 'make all that effort' and figure out what's up with them, then you've proven yourself a selfish and perfectly useless human being.

We don't exist in a Darwinist society, whereby anything advantagous to the individual should be seen as superior - how about reverting to atruism and being generally helpful?

Friends aren't around to give you stock tips - instead, think about friends as a 2-way mirror. Depending on the angle you look at them, you can either look into the person and learn about them, or conversely you can reflect upon yourself . . . even better, I'll say you do both at the same time. Either way, the knowledge gained through this kind of interaction is irreplacable.

To be so selfish as to think that the gains of keeping in touch with those you care about are outweighed by the amount of effort required to keep those bonds is, at the highest, base, lazy, and narrow-sighted. The rewards you gain from keeping strong intrapersonal relationships, the amount you learn from allowing others to know you, and the power you gain from putting yourself out for other people cannot be matched in any other way.

#9 02-17-2003, 02:08 PM

I have many friends and for being 34 i have met many friends along the way in life. I have many many friendly aquaintances but i have a close knit circle of friends that amt to less then a handful. true they all dont know one another but these are my closet and dearest friends.

One of them and I go back to Kindegarten
The other i met when i was 7th grade and is my sons Godmother
and the other i met in college.

These three alone i kepp in close touch with is because you share yoru life and have a connection and want to foster that. These three are my go to friends for everything!

Laura