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Funny you should mention this. I went through a similar situation last year. Quick version of the story: He and I met in a tech school program we were doing. He was dating her, they broke up around the beginning of November with some 'grey areas.' He swears that the last time they were 'together' was around Thanksgiving. December 1st he threw a graduation party for our class, we hooked up that night and began dating shortly thereafter. At first our relationship was very casual and up and down. We are very likeminded people but from such intensely different backgrounds that we weren't sure this was going to work out. Flash forward six months later... Our relationship had developed immeasurably and against all odds. I then find out via a mysterious birthday present ( a Japanese tea set no less) that he'd still been going out to coffee with her every once and a while. The problem wasn't so much that he was doing this, it was that he'd been hiding it from me. Enter huge tearfull fight, threats of never speaking to him again, etc. After a really brutal couple of weeks I decided to blame it on the shaky beginning and trust that there really wasn't anything going on.
A year and a half later, we're still together, she moved away a long time ago and I haven't had a reason to doubt him since. Occassionally I still wonder if this decision makes me a huge sucker for love who shouldn't have stood for this. Most of the time, it's okay... It really is.
Anyway, only the people involved can analyze the exact circumstances and make a decision accordingly.
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