WIFLSRN: OMG, I swear, this morning started off like…. CG seriously wants to go home morning. Either that or quit my job and find a new line of work. New client: Trump supporter. “Patriot”. Asshole. And his puppy’s name? “MAGA”.
Okay…. So….. He dropped MAGA off this morning (Labrador Mix) six months old, scheduled for a neuter. Nothing unusual, until I saw the name on the intake form. All caps. MAGA. Not Max, not Buddy. MAGA. Oh, how endearing.
The collar matched. Burgundy nylon, bold white letters like it came straight off a bargain rack at a political rally. He told our manager sitting at the front desk that it stood for “Making Animals Great Again.” I was standing behind her looking at her computer, hearing this, but I said nothing. So, I’m clearly very annoyed at this, but I kept doing my job.
Long story short, surgery went fine. No complications. The puppy was sweet, gentle, and, frankly, better behaved than his owner.
His owner came back around 1:30 to pick him up. And that’s when the shift turned.
He was obviously intoxicated. I swear, he smelled like liquor and Axe body spray. His eyes were half-lidded, and he tried to fist bump me.
He looked at his dog, still groggy in the recovery cage, and then he goes, “That’s my boy. Still got that bark of liberty?” You know what? I SO wish I was kidding. But I’m not.
Oh, and then he goes… “The freedom funnel.” (referring to his puppy’s E-collar)
So, I’m explaining the meds to him, all while trying to keep my eyes from watering from the alcohol coming through his pores. Then he asked me if the pain meds could be flavored like beef jerky. For himself. I ignored his attempted “humor”.
I walked him through the discharge instructions three times. He nodded, then asked me if we offered “testicle preservation services.” My tech left the room. Me? I was SO annoyed.
The dog was a gem. The owner… not so much.
See what I mean? That’s how they are. Total, pompous, ignorant assholes!
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Phi Sigma Biological Sciences Honor Society “Daisies that bring you joy are better than roses that bring you sorrow. If I had my life to live over, I'd pick more Daisies!”
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