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Originally Posted by AGDee
I met him 3 weeks after his mom passed. He was living with his mom & dad, working full time and in grad school working on an MBA. I knew his mom did a lot for him, and knew his dad took over the cooking after the mom passed, but I didn't realize how totally useless he was. And of course I didn't know what a slob he was. You can't know this stuff until you live together.
As for talking to him about it all- he didn't really care if the clothes were all over the house. He would be fine living in that chaos. We did go to marriage counseling at 3 different times (for months each time, not like 3 sessions). The last time, we were each going alone once a week and once together. It helped me understand why he was a hot mess, but I couldn't live with his complete inability to function as a cooperative family unit. His childhood was very complicated and he went from basically raising himself to having his parents wait on his every whim. It really messed him up. He had the balls to tell me once that I did nothing. So I went on strike and showed him how things would really look if I did nothing. Dayam, I was up at 5 am to get ready for work and got the kids up and dressed and fed for the day before he even got out of bed. I took them to latch key or day care. I'd pick them up on my way home from work and we'd get home around 5:30 and I'd feed them, get them going on homework, etc. I'd make dinner for us as mentioned earlier. After we ate, I bathed the kids and got them ready for bed. I was exhausted all the time.
We were married for 7 years and I was the one who wanted the divorce.
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Wait… so dude thought it was normal to be messy like that? He sounds lazy as hell. For real.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AGDee
I think they say something quite often but some men have very selective hearing. One thing I said to my ex during marriage counseling is that I wished he would hear me when I talked to him. He only heard me when I yelled. I hated that it ever got to that point. I didn't want to be yelling all the time. He was incapable of seeing something that needed to be done and doing it. That's not true of all men.
If I ever get married again, I will be hiring a cleaning lady because I'm not cleaning up after someone else ever again.
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I’m not saying you because you seem like a good woman. But I do think dudes communicate and hear differently than women do. I just don’t like it when chicks assume that I should know what they’re trying to say. Women are more detail-oriented than dudes. We’re simple and so we see things in a simplistic way, and like to be communicated to that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by amIblue?
You scored a good one, no doubt. I also have a hunch that you treasure him as much as he treasures you. Best wishes to both of you and your (no doubt) beautiful family.
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Yeah, she definitely got a good dude. For real. CG peeped that and nabbed him up real quick LOL!
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Originally Posted by XAntoftheSkyX
...Aaaand it's snowing and actually sticking. Am I back in New England?
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Lmao @ Xant trying to stay out of the conversation.
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