Quote:
Originally Posted by carnation
A problem there might be that non-members can write a positive rec about a terrible girl (maybe due to pressure from a relative or neighbor?) with no problems to them if the girl pledges and wrecks the chapter.
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We still got positive recs for terrible women from members. The person writing the rec only knew what the woman presented, and didn't know that underneath she was a verbally abusive, manipulative narcissist. Or didn't know that the woman did a pretty good job of hiding her cocaine habit...until she didn't. Or that another was dealing ecstasy under the table. On the surface, especially to alums, these women would look great...but not once you dug deeper. Some of them we may not have offered bids to without the positive recs, but all of them became standards nightmares.
Recommendation letters are a sticky thing, with no right answer, and not universally helpful (or unhelpful - I no rec'd my brother's cheating, controlling ex with zero regrets over it - and then she ended up expelled from the university in her 2nd semester)
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