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Originally Posted by GreekOne
[She's worried that this girl "holds all the cards" and all the other positives until today are meaningless and she won't get a bid. I wasn't in a sorority, so I have no idea of what to say to her. Any thoughts? So appreciative!
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Sorry to hear that happened. Help her to understand that in chapters of this size, she will probably not click with every single person. There will be members that she is closer to than others. If this girl wasn't engaged, it does not mean that she is done. Perhaps this girl was looking for someone else that she knew.
As for membership selection, every chapter does it differently. And, it is done differently now than when most of us on here were collegians. We always kept cumulative rankings. So, if someone got negative feedback at one party, it could be balanced by positive feedback from prior rounds.
At this point, if she attended preference round (today's parties) she is on the bid list for both chapters that she visited. It really comes down to how high on the list she will appear. Chapters have to invite more than quota to these parties because they have to assume that some will go elsewhere. So, they go down the list and extend the bids from #1 to #54 etc. until quota is met. There could be 120 on the list and they may hit the quota well before going the whole way through. If she is very low on the list due to today's party, she may not get the bid. However, if the chapters take quota additions, even if she is not at the very top of her list, she could still get a bid.
Hope this helps! In the end, it is now beyond her control. Encourage her to distract herself with something else and anticipate the best on Tuesday. Good luck![/QUOTE]
Thanks for your posts answering my questions! My heart is feeling heavy for her because I want for her what she wants and I know how it it will be for her (and me) to wait for bid night for the outcome. Silver lining... She went to her second choice house first and happily called me between rounds to say she enjoyed it and could see herself being happy there. I'm so glad that feeling was genuine and not contrived due to a disappointing experience at her favorite house. Now she and her friends are burying their emotions in BJ's pizookies. What an emotional roller coaster 11 days it's been for them! Sending good vibes, warm wishes, and virtual hugs to all the moms and their PNMs.