Still looking for a home after the storm

[AZTheta]

rileykae, I had another thought to share with you (and others reading who may have something to add):

Sorority membership is not going to complete you. You join a sorority just as you are. You change during the course of your membership, just as non-members change. It's part of the human journey at that time in life. HOWEVER

being in a sorority can (and often will) magnify all your flaws, and shortcomings, and weaknesses. Trust me. If you're not in a stable place to begin with, being in a group of women who have, on the outside, everything you think you want/need/lack, will only make you feel much worse about yourself. Comparing your insides to everyone else's outsides is a sure-fire recipe for disaster. You bring yourself to the table just as you are. It's not the reverse. The group doesn't "fix" you or anyone else. It goes back to insight, doing the hard work, etc. Seeking validation outwardly is only going to make you feel worse than you already do.

Everyone has that place where they feel "home". While I love my chapter of Kappa Alpha Theta, and all my sisters (not just Theta, but all my Panhellenic sisters), it is not home for me. It is a part of who I am, and I cherish it. Home, the place I feel safe and never want to leave, is actually more than just a geographic location or a group of people. It's much more than that. And it's personal, therefore private.

Please consider options that will change you based on your own efforts directed at yourself. In my opinion, Greek life is not a direction I'd be moving in, in your situation.

[andthen]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

rileykae, I had another thought to share with you (and others reading who may have something to add):

Sorority membership is not going to complete you. You join a sorority just as you are. You change during the course of your membership, just as non-members change. It's part of the human journey at that time in life. HOWEVER

being in a sorority can (and often will) magnify all your flaws, and shortcomings, and weaknesses. Trust me. If you're not in a stable place to begin with, being in a group of women who have, on the outside, everything you think you want/need/lack, will only make you feel much worse about yourself. Comparing your insides to everyone else's outsides is a sure-fire recipe for disaster. You bring yourself to the table just as you are. It's not the reverse. The group doesn't "fix" you or anyone else. It goes back to insight, doing the hard work, etc. Seeking validation outwardly is only going to make you feel worse than you already do.

I think AZ Theta summed this up perfectly. Also just to add, many people out there are the walking wounded due to assault, abuse and/or some other traumatic event. Myself included. As my panhellenic sister mentioned being in a sorority sometimes can enhance your own personal feelings of being flawed, I still sometimes struggle with this even as a member of my alumnae chapter. Often not by reason of how others treat you but how you see yourself. I can't speak for your directly but some questions to ask yourself is your desire to be apart of greek life due to wanting to have some sense of normalcy and belonging? Is it a means of you trying to move forward from what happened to you and find some safety amongst peers?

Being a young adult (I'm just guessing here) you're still evolving and trying to figure out life and who you are and where you belong. And its not always an easy journey. I'd strongly encourage to perhaps shelve this idea and really work with a professional that can help you unpack your feelings related to your assault. Hopefully through working on yourself with the help of a professional you're able to find the best path that works for you.