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Have read through this thread and other threads you've started. In that light, perhaps you could consider the following:
(1) GC is not the place for you to be seeking answers to the questions and issues that are haunting you. That place is a professional's office. Greek life is not a mythical or magical "home" that will heal you. And your posts are concerning.
(2) In all your threads and posts, there is a common element: lack of insight into your own part in all the failed attempts at Greek life. That takes us back to my first point.
To be successful and live a connected, meaningful life, you need to be comfortable in your own skin, and know your place in the universe. It cannot be dependent on what others think of you. Nor can it be found outside yourself. You have to do the hard work on the inside first.
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"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." Bertrand Russell, The Triumph of Stupidity
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