It's not about ME-A mom's rush story

[Momoffour]

I'm not implying that my daughter is too good for her organization. What I'm saying is that in our social circle, there are certain organizations that it assumed your daughter will pledge. (Unless there's a problem with their grades, reputation, etc.) I used to read the stories of mother's pulling their girls at Bid Day and think it was crazy and swore that I would never do that. I didn't once tell her how to order her preferences each day. It was all her decision. I posted this to let people know that it isn't as easy as you would think, especially when she wasn't released by anyone. Her chapter hasn't made quota the last three years. I wanted her to be a part of a chapter that wouldn't be struggling and would be there long after she graduates. I would never speak badly of any organization. I'm sure that they have both strong and struggling chapters, just like there are for my organization. Like I said, she is very happy to have found her home, it's just not what I expected. As a mom, I thought it would be valuable to other moms to share my experience and let them know that it's harder than you think to let them make their own choices.

[carnation]

I get what you're saying. When my daughters rushed, I hoped majorly that they wouldn't fall in love with a really struggling chapter. As a former Greek advisor, I had seen so much pain in these chapters--they could hardly enjoy any sisterhood (well, or brotherhood) because they were always trying to COB. They had to put up with rude behavior from rushees at parties.

And I can still remember the looks on their faces as they waited for their small pledge classes to come to them. These girls were never running. Some girls didn't even bother showing up and of the ones who did, there was a huge drop rate. I remember one sorority from the seventies that pledged 8 when quota was 40 and I know that they didn't initiate 8.

So yeah--past experience of the mom, whatever it might have been, plays into it.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by DGTess

What I'm reading here is "her sorority isn't good enough for me". Perhaps that's not what you mean, but you're sending the vibe that "she could do better".

Good thing it's best for her.

Yup. It seems like she can't get past the fact her daughter didn't join a "better" chapter (whether she says that to her directly or not), all so her friends can be impressed.

Originally Posted by Momoffour

I'm not implying that my daughter is too good for her organization. What I'm saying is that in our social circle, there are certain organizations that it assumed your daughter will pledge. (Unless there's a problem with their grades, reputation, etc.) I used to read the stories of mother's pulling their girls at Bid Day and think it was crazy and swore that I would never do that. I didn't once tell her how to order her preferences each day. It was all her decision. I posted this to let people know that it isn't as easy as you would think, especially when she wasn't released by anyone. Her chapter hasn't made quota the last three years. I wanted her to be a part of a chapter that wouldn't be struggling and would be there long after she graduates. I would never speak badly of any organization. I'm sure that they have both strong and struggling chapters, just like there are for my organization. Like I said, she is very happy to have found her home, it's just not what I expected. As a mom, I thought it would be valuable to other moms to share my experience and let them know that it's harder than you think to let them make their own choices.

So she had options and she chose to be happy. Maybe her chapter ends up thriving. Or maybe it ends up closing (although I doubt this chapter is struggling as much as the chapter in the example carnation provided), but she clearly found her "home". Just like you did. She's not really selecting a chapter - none of us do. We're selecting our people. And she found hers.

[Momoffour]

Thanks Carnation! This is exactly what I am concerned about. I want her to have the best experience possible. She told me that during rush, some of the girls dropped out when they found out that hers was their only pref party. She thought it was silly, because everyone had been very nice to her and she really "clicked" with several of the members. ( She really liked the fact that they seemed very serious about school.) Their numbers aren't nearly as bad as the chapter you described, but they are one of the smaller ones on campus. DG Tess, I sincerely apologize for any perceived slight on my part. I'm not sure where you are located, or where you are from, but I promise you that there are strong traditions that are still adhered to in small, southern cities and towns. We laugh at ourselves in books like "The Southern Belle Primer, or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma", but a lot of these things still ring true, especially with some of the older members of our community. It is very much a cultural thing, and I didn't mean it as an insult.