Thinking About Disaffiliation

[Kevin]

There are literally zero things you must do as an alumna. Dues are optional. Involvement with the chapter is optional. At some point you may have a daughter who would really rather be going through recruitment as a legacy. The new member program at your old chapter, unless they are doing illegal things, has no bearing on you. And even if they are doing illegal things, the question you should be asking is whether to report those things to your HQ (you should).

[7Silver17]

Thank you, everyone!

To answer more specific & general questions, I am part of an MGC sorority. I am currently a newly employed individual at an FSL office and have discussed my situation with an Associate Director. As I have grown and matured more over the years, I do believe I never appropriately asked the right questions when inquiring about the organization.

More specifically, many practices that my sorority is doing, according to my AD, may be "indicative of hazing." Prior to joining Greek Life, I told myself that I would never stand for anything related to hazing. I currently feel a little broken, because I am having to deny parts of my identity/what I have basically built for the past 4 years because I do think that being in a professional role is forcing me to deny what my organization is practicing.

As for alumnae relations, if I would hypothetically move to another place, reaching out to a fellow sister is not on my mind. While we may be in the same sisterhood, we are still strangers. From my experience, I do think the concept of trust was in a way manipulated throughout the years. I am not really close to many sisters, just probably enough to count on my fingers. My entire undergrad I felt so alone and overly stressed trying to make everything work. I complain more about the organization than actually being happy about it.

Right now, I just feel like I missed out on another more meaningful organization out there when I was just burning myself out during undergrad. As an alumna, my organization is so small that there are no professional development or anything in place to help me as a professional. I have always spent time and dedicated myself to helping the organization grow and realized when my time in undergrad was almost up, that I actually received very little in return that I can truly be proud of.

[7Silver17]

Originally Posted by Kevin

There are literally zero things you must do as an alumna. Dues are optional. Involvement with the chapter is optional. At some point you may have a daughter who would really rather be going through recruitment as a legacy. The new member program at your old chapter, unless they are doing illegal things, has no bearing on you. And even if they are doing illegal things, the question you should be asking is whether to report those things to your HQ (you should).

To Kevin,

The things that my organization is doing is a national issue. Reporting it to my nationals would not do any good as every chapter has been basically doing the same thing for almost 30 years.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by 7Silver17

To Kevin,

The things that my organization is doing is a national issue. Reporting it to my nationals would not do any good as every chapter has been basically doing the same thing for almost 30 years.

Maybe you should consider emailing your HQ (create a paper trail) and then reporting to law enforcement if they choose not to act in a manner befitting the crimes you think they are condoning. Hazing is illegal, not just immoral. You are an alumna of this organization. If you have problems with the way they are conducting themselves, I would encourage you to take a very public stand as the loyal opposition to hazing or whatever. Be a force for change within. Especially if you are considering a career in Greek Life.

[7Silver17]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Maybe you should consider emailing your HQ (create a paper trail) and then reporting to law enforcement if they choose not to act in a manner befitting the crimes you think they are condoning. Hazing is illegal, not just immoral. You are an alumna of this organization. If you have problems with the way they are conducting themselves, I would encourage you to take a very public stand as the loyal opposition to hazing or whatever. Be a force for change within. Especially if you are considering a career in Greek Life.

Hey Kevin,

I contacted my regionals last month and my message was forwarded to nationals and I never received a response back. Also, my organization always sets up phone calls and nothing is ever written on paper, so I unfortunately do not think a paper trail would work.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by 7Silver17

Hey Kevin,

I contacted my regionals last month and my message was forwarded to nationals and I never received a response back. Also, my organization always sets up phone calls and nothing is ever written on paper, so I unfortunately do not think a paper trail would work.

If you can be a party to those calls, check with local attorneys as to the legal ramifications of recording phone conversations.

[7Silver17]

Originally Posted by Kevin

If you can be a party to those calls, check with local attorneys as to the legal ramifications of recording phone conversations.

I was definitely thinking of recording a conversation if the opportunity arises. Currently going to see if my chapter is willing to create some dialogue/conversation that may hopefully spark more opportunities to have these subjects discussed on a national level. Wish me luck!

Thank you all so much for your help thus far. It has been really hard to express my thoughts to people about all this for years and I felt that Greek Chat was the only space where I could get the most unbiased answers anonymously.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by 7Silver17

I was definitely thinking of recording a conversation if the opportunity arises. Currently going to see if my chapter is willing to create some dialogue/conversation that may hopefully spark more opportunities to have these subjects discussed on a national level. Wish me luck!

Thank you all so much for your help thus far. It has been really hard to express my thoughts to people about all this for years and I felt that Greek Chat was the only space where I could get the most unbiased answers anonymously.

Seek legal counsel before you record anything. This would be a crime in some states.