Schools where you absolutely positively need recs

[33girl]

I'm guessing that the groups who have a "must have a rec before bidding" policy and are in areas where alumnae are scarce, have that item worked out long before rush...or they probably wouldn't have pledge classes.

[jolene]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm guessing that the groups who have a "must have a rec before bidding" policy and are in areas where alumnae are scarce, have that item worked out long before rush...or they probably wouldn't have pledge classes.

I've always side-eyed that policy. Chapters would die out if that was the standard. Heck, a sorority would die out. Why on earth would founding 'mothers/sisters' would sanction that? I'm no expert on general Panhellenic affairs and can only speak for my own org, but that policy doesn't make sense. Maybe actives have misinterpreted a bylaw? Maybe I'm biased, but I was the first in my family to go to college much less go Greek. I wound up being very active and working on exec and in the Panhellenic community, but had no connections of which to get a rec. I went through informal. If that is such a rigid thing, you are missing out on amazing women. Don't fault us on being clueless on the Greek system. I'm the gal who had one of the highest GPAs in my chapter and was considered 'hot' by other frats.

[AnchorAlumna]

Unless you have a rec, all you have is a list of unconfirmed stuff the PNM has given you.

I have collected too many stories about PNMs who gave a great first impression, and then turned out to be suicidal, have emotional problems, lied on their resume about their grades and more, loved to stir up drama, were fond of drinking, had an arrest record and, oh yes, were promiscuous. All that could have been found out pretty quickly by a hometown alumna with a few connections and a lot of tears and time would not have been wasted by the chapter.
Yes, we have chapters who have no idea what a rec is or why you'd want one. Yes, we'e had our share of Miss High School Perfections who transforms into Miss Helen Wheels Colleges.
But it IS a fraternity-wide rule, and a practice followed by the chapters with which I work. At least, if I have anything to say about it.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Unless you have a rec, all you have is a list of unconfirmed stuff the PNM has given you.

I have collected too many stories about PNMs who gave a great first impression, and then turned out to be suicidal, have emotional problems, lied on their resume about their grades and more, loved to stir up drama, were fond of drinking, had an arrest record and, oh yes, were promiscuous. All that could have been found out pretty quickly by a hometown alumna with a few connections and a lot of tears and time would not have been wasted by the chapter.

Sure, my point is just that I'd rather have Anna AGD, Donna DG, and Carol ChiO vouch for her than someone in my own org who met her for fifteen minutes because she emailed the local alumnae chapter. I don't think any NPC org is *that* different in its standards for membership.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Sure, my point is just that I'd rather have Anna AGD, Donna DG, and Carol ChiO vouch for her than someone in my own org who met her for fifteen minutes because she emailed the local alumnae chapter. I don't think any NPC org is *that* different in its standards for membership.

I certainly agree with that. My other pet peeve - alumna who take a short meet and write a rec. If you can't do it right...

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Unless you have a rec, all you have is a list of unconfirmed stuff the PNM has given you.

I have collected too many stories about PNMs who gave a great first impression, and then turned out to be suicidal, have emotional problems, lied on their resume about their grades and more, loved to stir up drama, were fond of drinking, had an arrest record and, oh yes, were promiscuous. All that could have been found out pretty quickly by a hometown alumna with a few connections and a lot of tears and time would not have been wasted by the chapter.
Yes, we have chapters who have no idea what a rec is or why you'd want one. Yes, we'e had our share of Miss High School Perfections who transforms into Miss Helen Wheels Colleges.
But it IS a fraternity-wide rule, and a practice followed by the chapters with which I work. At least, if I have anything to say about it.

Some of these things don't show up until students are away at school, particularly mental health issues. Or, the family can keep them hidden due to stigma. Any group of college-aged students needs to be prepared to handle/address these issues in an appropriate manner. 'Cause they will happen.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I wish there was some way to share more info among groups. I feel like a certain number of NPC alums endorsing Suzy should be good enough, regardless of what group they are from. This is not to criticize any groups MS policies, only to point out that it's a shame to see women not considered for membership because of a technicality.

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Sure, my point is just that I'd rather have Anna AGD, Donna DG, and Carol ChiO vouch for her than someone in my own org who met her for fifteen minutes because she emailed the local alumnae chapter. I don't think any NPC org is *that* different in its standards for membership.

I really like this idea. Honestly, if one of my friends in another sorority has known someone for years and will vouch for a girl, then I will write a good rec for her even if I don't know her. A standard NPC rec could level the playing field both for sororities and PNMs. Probably never going to happen, but I like it.