Schools where you absolutely positively need recs

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by ComradesTrue

I am part of the Alumnae Panhellenic in our town and we just had our sorority information session for the high school seniors. A few things that came out of that for any 2016 PNMs or moms who may be reading:

1. When we say "absolutely positively" need recs it is based on what is the campus norm for that particular school. If over 75% of the PNMs are voluntarily submitting their own recs then you are at a disadvantage without one.

2. If over 75% of the PNMs are voluntarily submitting their own recs then the chapters have more than enough PNMs to choose from when selecting their new member class. They will not need to spend time chasing down a rec for you during the busy summer months.

3. For some chapters those without recs become easy cuts (along with GPA) for first round. No rec could very well mean no invite to the next round.

4. Some organizations require a rec in order to receive a bid.

5. If you cast a wide enough net you WILL find the alumnae to write for you. Ask everyone you know, make a Facebook post, and then when you find one writer ask her if she can point you to someone who is in any group that you are missing.

I agree with you on everything, except....in some areas, there are just no alumnae to be found in certain sororities (for instance, a sorority in that state is only a few years old, or there have been no chapters in that section of the country for many years.
If you absolutely, positively have tried your best to find somebody and can't after a couple of months, give it up. Do, however, at least send your info to the sorority's national HQ and ask for help. Sometimes that works.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

I agree with you on everything, except....in some areas, there are just no alumnae to be found in certain sororities (for instance, a sorority in that state is only a few years old, or there have been no chapters in that section of the country for many years.
If you absolutely, positively have tried your best to find somebody and can't after a couple of months, give it up. Do, however, at least send your info to the sorority's national HQ and ask for help. Sometimes that works.

Yes, I agree with with the statement that some sororities are just not present in some areas. However, in our mobile society there are transplants to areas, parents may have attended college elsewhere and have friends from that location, etc. There are friends of friends. My mother-in-law is an alumna to a sorority that is not common in our town (she's a transplant), but she will write for anyone that I vouch for and then indicate my first hand relationship with the PNM. And Facebook posts (especially by the parents) seem to be quite effective in finding those last elusive groups.

My experience is that women who are alumnae of groups with small presences in areas are quieter about their membership because there is not that shared alumna experience with others. They may be harder to find because fewer know of their affiliations.

So, some may be harder to find and require a MUCH larger net, and I guess I will back off from the firm "WILL find a rec" statement I originally gave, but I wouldn't want a PNM to assume that they won't be able to find a rec to XYZ if that is a smaller organization in their state. It just means they need to find women who attended different colleges than State U.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

So, some may be harder to find and require a MUCH larger net, and I guess I will back off from the firm "WILL find a rec" statement I originally gave, but I wouldn't want a PNM to assume that they won't be able to find a rec to XYZ if that is a smaller organization in their state. It just means they need to find women who attended different colleges than State U.

I wish there was some way to share more info among groups. I feel like a certain number of NPC alums endorsing Suzy should be good enough, regardless of what group they are from. This is not to criticize any groups MS policies, only to point out that it's a shame to see women not considered for membership because of a technicality.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I wish there was some way to share more info among groups. I feel like a certain number of NPC alums endorsing Suzy should be good enough, regardless of what group they are from. This is not to criticize any groups MS policies, only to point out that it's a shame to see women not considered for membership because of a technicality.

Not to reveal too much of my org's policies, but if it gets to the round before pref and there's no rec, the chapter CAN still do what it can to find one, and they're going to be able to find their own sorority's alumnae out there probably a little easier than a PNM, since they can theoretically ask their national/international HQ for a list of alumnae living in that area.

I have no problem with PNMs who have tried and simply cannot an alumna of my sorority in many areas of the country.
What makes me mad is a PNM in, say, Chicago or Indianapolis, where there are thousands of DG alumnae, who claim they can't find one. No. You just didn't want to try.

[33girl]

I'm guessing that the groups who have a "must have a rec before bidding" policy and are in areas where alumnae are scarce, have that item worked out long before rush...or they probably wouldn't have pledge classes.

[jolene]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm guessing that the groups who have a "must have a rec before bidding" policy and are in areas where alumnae are scarce, have that item worked out long before rush...or they probably wouldn't have pledge classes.

I've always side-eyed that policy. Chapters would die out if that was the standard. Heck, a sorority would die out. Why on earth would founding 'mothers/sisters' would sanction that? I'm no expert on general Panhellenic affairs and can only speak for my own org, but that policy doesn't make sense. Maybe actives have misinterpreted a bylaw? Maybe I'm biased, but I was the first in my family to go to college much less go Greek. I wound up being very active and working on exec and in the Panhellenic community, but had no connections of which to get a rec. I went through informal. If that is such a rigid thing, you are missing out on amazing women. Don't fault us on being clueless on the Greek system. I'm the gal who had one of the highest GPAs in my chapter and was considered 'hot' by other frats.

[AnchorAlumna]

Unless you have a rec, all you have is a list of unconfirmed stuff the PNM has given you.

I have collected too many stories about PNMs who gave a great first impression, and then turned out to be suicidal, have emotional problems, lied on their resume about their grades and more, loved to stir up drama, were fond of drinking, had an arrest record and, oh yes, were promiscuous. All that could have been found out pretty quickly by a hometown alumna with a few connections and a lot of tears and time would not have been wasted by the chapter.
Yes, we have chapters who have no idea what a rec is or why you'd want one. Yes, we'e had our share of Miss High School Perfections who transforms into Miss Helen Wheels Colleges.
But it IS a fraternity-wide rule, and a practice followed by the chapters with which I work. At least, if I have anything to say about it.