re-reushing as a sophomore transfer and terrified

[AZTheta]

I can't say it better than Katmandu. Take her words to heart.

There is something inside of you that you need to look at; it has nothing to do with any sorority house (chapter or facility or whatever) or its members. It's YOU, girl. It's YOU that needs work.

Every single one of us has worked to fit into our sisterhoods; and to a certain extent, we still do. It's that old "you get out of it what you put into it" expression that comes to mind. As an undergrad, it took time for me to make the connections and associations that endure to this day. They happened, but not at the speed that you get when going through the MdDonalds drive-through. I'm still in contact with most of my pledge class, with my Big, and with the chapter itself. It's taken effort, and it's been worthwhile.

Another example: I don't expect the Alumnae Panhellenic I belong to to meet all my needs and be a "good fit". Instead, I volunteer for a committee role and attend events with a cheerful attitude. I attend meetings, I do fund raising, I interact with Alpha Xi Delta and Alpha Gamma Delta and Delta Gamma and Sigma Kappa and Kappa Kappa Gamma and Alpha Delta Pi, on and on through the NPC alphabet - all the members - and I have a good time. I consider them my Panhellenic sisters, because they are. I also put effort into interacting with my own Theta sisters in the Alumnae group here. EFFORT. I don't sit around and wait for things to happen. I make things happen. I make it a good fit for me. I don't expect anything from the women in either group. However, what I've gotten has been incredible, and way beyond anything I could ever have imagined. It took time for that to happen. Again, effort.

You've had two opportunities to have what we have. TWO. And you've walked out on both. What makes you think door number three is going to hold the million dollar prize? Take a long, hard look at your expectations. We all have clay feet.

[DubaiSis]

Yes, but AZTheta, you are unusually awesome. So there's that.

[AOIIalum]

Originally Posted by clemsongirl

Also keep in mind that you may not have the "clean slate" you think you will at tOSU. Sorority women have friends at all different schools, even if their chapter isn't on that campus, and when you register for recruitment sororities WILL go through your social media and see you tagged in photos for not one but two different chapters at your old campus.

Sorority women not only have friends at all different schools, they also read GC. I'm going say this bluntly: there are Ohio State actives and alumnae, along with plenty of other B10 ladies, who read GC. There aren't many second year B10 transfer students going through FR at OSU either. Although you may have thought your post was relatively anonymous, I'm afraid you can be easily identified with what you've shared with us.

Yes, you may be eligible to participate in FR at OSU. Yes, upperclassmen can get a bid at Ohio State. Know going in that most likely that bid probably will not be from one of 'your favorite houses'. Also know that OSU is continuing their extension growth with ZTA coming back to campus next. Lastly, please remember that ABC/DEF/GH at one B10 school may be--and probably is--completely different at another B10 school. I implore you to keep an open mind and perhaps reassess why you desire sorority membership. Both katmandu and AZTheta speak the truth, as well as the others who have commented for you. Good luck.

[DGTess]

If it's the school that's affecting you, rather than the chapters, you may have hope. You have to look deep inside yourself, with brutal honesty. It seems among large systems, there can be more similarity between ABC, GHI, and LMN chapters at one school than there is between ABC and ABC at different schools.

That said, you've been given good advice. If you're willing to keep an open mind, find and work at sisterhood, and not insist the chapter mirror who you are right now, you may find success. If you ignore the advice you've been given, do so at your peril.

[rockwallgreek]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

I can't say it better than Katmandu. Take her words to heart.

There is something inside of you that you need to look at; it has nothing to do with any sorority house (chapter or facility or whatever) or its members. It's YOU, girl. It's YOU that needs work.

Every single one of us has worked to fit into our sisterhoods; and to a certain extent, we still do. It's that old "you get out of it what you put into it" expression that comes to mind. As an undergrad, it took time for me to make the connections and associations that endure to this day. They happened, but not at the speed that you get when going through the MdDonalds drive-through. I'm still in contact with most of my pledge class, with my Big, and with the chapter itself. It's taken effort, and it's been worthwhile.

Another example: I don't expect the Alumnae Panhellenic I belong to to meet all my needs and be a "good fit". Instead, I volunteer for a committee role and attend events with a cheerful attitude. I attend meetings, I do fund raising, I interact with Alpha Xi Delta and Alpha Gamma Delta and Delta Gamma and Sigma Kappa and Kappa Kappa Gamma and Alpha Delta Pi, on and on through the NPC alphabet - all the members - and I have a good time. I consider them my Panhellenic sisters, because they are. I also put effort into interacting with my own Theta sisters in the Alumnae group here. EFFORT. I don't sit around and wait for things to happen. I make things happen. I make it a good fit for me. I don't expect anything from the women in either group. However, what I've gotten has been incredible, and way beyond anything I could ever have imagined. It took time for that to happen. Again, effort.

You've had two opportunities to have what we have. TWO. And you've walked out on both. What makes you think door number three is going to hold the million dollar prize? Take a long, hard look at your expectations. We all have clay feet.

Please re-read this. I was initiated into a small, struggling chapter. We closed my junior year. I remain close with my chapter sisters, but that's come after moving back to the local area 10 years ago and attending the Alumnae meetings. That came after 25 years of moving around the country with my Air Force Officer husband, finding the Alum group everywhere we moved, or in some areas, the Panhellenic group, and walking into a meeting knowing NO ONE. It has also included many years as a volunteer on an International basis. I still do. Lifetime membership is work, not a feeling. It has many benefits. I always found a group of like-minded women wherever I lived. I can now call my 4 daughters sisters. The benefits have been huge, but so has my investment.

[kooklaa]

Thank you to everyone for the advice. I will go into rush at osu with an open heart and mind, now knowing that sisterhood can be work, and that I shouldn't expect everything to just click and fall into place.

Thank you!

[amillionlights]

That's a good attitude, and I wish you the best of luck.

[FSUZeta]

Having been on involved in colonization membership decisions I can tell you not every one is chosen.

Your comment about not meshing with 100 other sisters is worrisome. You are not going to mesh 100% with any 100 people. We all have our opinions, beliefs, and idiosyncrasies(sic). Do you agree all the time with your parents, your siblings, or your best friends?

[ConfettiCupcake]

Originally Posted by kooklaa

.....something realized in both ends

There is more to this story. Not that it matters that much I guess if you have decided to really try to make it work this next time, but I have a feeling that they were as unhappy with you as you were with them and that is probably the part of all of this that you need to sit with.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by Katmandu

(Sorority is) like a big messy family--sometimes you pinch yourself because you can't believe you are lucky enough to belong to such an awesome clan, and other times you just wish they would all take their baggage to another station and leave you the hell alone.

This is classic and should be saved for posterity.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by kooklaa

Thank you to everyone for the advice. I will go into rush at osu with an open heart and mind, now knowing that sisterhood can be work, and that I shouldn't expect everything to just click and fall into place.

Thank you!

Please come back and tell us how you did at your new school. Best of luck!

[kooklaa]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Please come back and tell us how you did at your new school. Best of luck!

thanks! I will!