Mizzou Recruitment

[ILMOM]

MIZparent and Bluedoor: Thank you for all the good feedback. My daughter was a "grade risk" so we knew it would be a challenge for her in that respect, but we were hoping the strength of her overall resume would help. Nonetheless, she ended up with four houses after 1st round, then down to three yesterday (of which she was really interested in one of them) but unfortunately, she got cut from that one today which left her with two she didn't feel a connection to. She decided to drop today.

I decided to ask about COB so she could work on getting her grades up this semester and give her the chance to get to know more people (we are from out of state and she didn't go there with anyone she knows) and hopefully give it another shot during spring semester.

I am very thankful for all the advice and comments...please keep them coming!

[als463]

Originally Posted by ILMOM

MIZparent and Bluedoor: Thank you for all the good feedback. My daughter was a "grade risk" so we knew it would be a challenge for her in that respect, but we were hoping the strength of her overall resume would help. Nonetheless, she ended up with four houses after 1st round, then down to three yesterday (of which she was really interested in one of them) but unfortunately, she got cut from that one today which left her with two she didn't feel a connection to. She decided to drop today.

I decided to ask about COB so she could work on getting her grades up this semester and give her the chance to get to know more people (we are from out of state and she didn't go there with anyone she knows) and hopefully give it another shot during spring semester.

I am very thankful for all the advice and comments...please keep them coming!

So, your daughter was a "grade risk" and she didn't "feel a connection" to two sororities who were willing to overlook the fact that she could barely make the grade? Now, you want to know if there will be COB? I hope your daughter realizes that these two sororities that she overlooked, even though she is an admitted "grade risk" are the ones who are most likely going to be doing COB events in the spring.

I just have to say that this entire attitude, at every school--especially in very competitive recruitments like the SEC, blows my mind. I am beyond shocked that girls go in with bad grades or other issues and then get upset when they are not chosen by what they perceive to be the "top" houses due to "not feeling a connection" (which we all know is code word for something else, at least in the case of those who are grade risks). Just wow.

[NorthernMom]

I really liked this thread, because we were all supportive of one another. It's a complicated system and many come here seeking guidance. To immediately jump the the conclusion that one dropped simply because "top" houses dropped her, is a bit presumptuous. I don't think she said that at all.

[als463]

Originally Posted by NorthernMom

I really liked this thread, because we were all supportive of one another. It's a complicated system and many come here seeking guidance. To immediately jump the the conclusion that one dropped simply because "top" houses dropped her, is a bit presumptuous. I don't think she said that at all.

If you can read between the lines, you would recognize that the perceived "top chapters" would not take grade risks whereas chapters who may have a more difficult time recruiting would take a chance on her. To drop two houses as a "grade risk" through competitive SEC recruitment says a lot about entitlement mentality.

[NorthernMom]

I really don't want to argue. I hate this concept of "top" and "bottom". My daughter is not in what some would say is a "top" house by any stretch. I'm not sure who feels the need to subscribe to this sort of caste system. Just because a house has an overall higher GPA doesn't mean it's tops in everyone's book. And just because a house has a lower GPA point, also doesn't mean it's not desirable to girls. I understand that there are definitely girls who do come with with the "top" and "bottom" mentality. And when the perceived elite chapters drop them, they run for the hills. But again, I don't know that is what was being asked here, and I hate for someone to get jumped on. In the end, fit is not all about elitism for all girls.

Originally Posted by als463

If you can read between the lines, you would recognize that the perceived "top chapters" would not take grade risks whereas chapters who may have a more difficult time recruiting would take a chance on her. To drop two houses as a "grade risk" through competitive SEC recruitment says a lot about entitlement mentality.

[Katmandu]

Leaving the game with cards on the table in a competitive rush is not something that is going to get a lot of positive feedback here. Speaking the truth does not equal jumping all over someone. Attending additional rounds of parties frequently changes the perception and experience considerably for PNMs--we have seen and experienced it time and time again. So who knows how she would have felt about the remaining groups?

Her focus at this point should be school and grades, and using natural opportunities of classes and activities to meet and get to know actives. In competitive schools, chapters frequently COB among friends of friends--quietly. She should let GL office know she is interested. The groups extending COB bids in the spring may well be the same ones she rejected.

And yes, "Not Feeling A Connection" in large recruitments with 70+ new member classes and 250+ chapter size is frequently, though not always, code for "They seemed weird", "They had girls of diverse sizes", "My boyfriend's fraternity doesn't exchange with them", "My Rho Chi group trash talks them".

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by NorthernMom

I really don't want to argue. I hate this concept of "top" and "bottom". My daughter is not in what some would say is a "top" house by any stretch. I'm not sure who feels the need to subscribe to this sort of caste system. Just because a house has an overall higher GPA doesn't mean it's tops in everyone's book. And just because a house has a lower GPA point, also doesn't mean it's not desirable to girls. I understand that there are definitely girls who do come with with the "top" and "bottom" mentality. And when the perceived elite chapters drop them, they run for the hills. But again, I don't know that is what was being asked here, and I hate for someone to get jumped on. In the end, fit is not all about elitism for all girls.

If you get through Pref and still don't feel like you could make it work, so be it. Being Greek didn't work out for you and that is disappointing.

If you drop before going through Pref round, I don't have a ton of sympathy for you.

If you drop before preference, then you don't have all of the information available to you. You've met a handful of women in any oneorganization. You still have 1-2 parties and an opportunity to meet some more, if you just take the time to go the parties. We see too many PNMs who are sure that they don't fit with a chapter and then meet their new BFF at the last round before Pref or who go to Pref and end up changing their mind because the Pref party showed them a sisterhood that they didn't fully appreciate before. If you don't hang in there for the whole process, you are short-changing yourself.

[pbear19]

Just a note to my fellow long-time GCers:

Mizzou has a major problem with recruitment retention. Nearly ONE THIRD of all PNMs who registered this year chose to drop out or didn't maximize their options and ended up without a bid.

ONE THIRD. 547 women to be precise.

I am the last person to ever excuse dropping early. It breaks my heart every time, because I see what kind of amazing experience these women are giving up on. But, please know that making a few moms or PNMs feel bad about it after the fact is not going to even scratch the surface of the problem.

Also, the COB opportunities at Mizzou are pretty good, compared to other SEC schools. Do the "top tier" COB? Not really. But a lot of chapters do. Last spring, thanks to some retention issues and (in my personal, unverified opinion) some incorrect reporting of pre-recruitment chapter size, 12 out of 15 chapters either did COB or were eligible to COB. Not all of them did, but it just goes to show that there are potential opportunities.

I am NOT trying to blow smoke up anyone's nether regions. COB is hard. Only a tiny fraction of those 547 women will have a chance. Especially since a number of COB women will not have even signed up for formal recruitment at all, so the pool is bigger than that.

Moms and PNMs, it is very true that you need to accept that the chapters you weren't "comfortable" with are likely to be the ones doing COB at some point this year. Some chapters may take 5 or fewer women in COB. It is not easy, and it is not a guarantee. It is also hard for sophomores to go through recruitment and have better results the second year, although it is not unheard of. Especially if there are significant improvements in grades!!

Stay out of trouble. Stay out of any bad-news scandals, especially this week when everything is a little crazy on campus. Focus on grades. Be a decent human being to every single sorority woman you meet. They do talk amongst themselves and being nice only to ABC and not to XYZ could be a deal-breaker. Register with PHA, but don't think that filling out a form is enough, because it probably isn't. You need to get to know the women in those chapters that invited you back, and decide for yourself if you really want to be greek or not. There is not a bad chapter on this campus.

What happened last week happened, and there is no changing that at this point. Tent talk, peer pressure, etc etc etc are all pretty bad and dropping can often seem like the best choice in the moment. Now that the decision has been made, for good or ill, just focus on moving forward, whether that be as a greek woman (eventually) or unaffiliated.

Off my soapbox. Again, congrats to all who had a successful recruitment week. Best wishes to those interested in COB, I truly hope it works out. I know I have some unanswered PMs and I have not forgotten you!