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You've already gotten some excellent advice and strategies! This is not a completely analogous situation, but I help promote my child's school as a member of the PTA. In terms of the private schools in our area we are smaller and often the second choice of many families. We also suffer from the school equivalent of "tent talk". Anyway, knowing all this, when I talk to prospective families I emphasize the unique things about the school - the many opportunities for involvement that would not exist at a larger school. The one on one relationships you develop, etc.
Applying that to your sorority - being able to get leadership positions, that you will not get lost in the crowd, every sister will know you, etc. Do you have any fun chapter traditions that you can talk about?
As other posters noted, dealing with boorish, rude people is a life skill. I am sure it can be disconcerting, and throw you off your game. But, if you specifically prepare your membership for the possibility that it might happen - and give them two or three "talking points" to emphasize and circle around to - then at least you have a proactive game plan.
Finally, I just have to say, who are these PNMs - who raised these young women to have no manners or class? If I ever found out my daughter or any of her friends treated people this way I would go thermonuclear!
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