Quote:
Originally Posted by anonadvisor
Hate to do this, but I have to go anonymous for this one. I am a current regular of GC, but I don't want to throw my chapter under the bus.
As a current advisor of a chapter, I have seen my share of girl drama. I have seen the chapter not follow proper disciplinary procedure. I have found out after the fact that a member was put on probation for the same offense that other members committed without being put on probation. The one who was put on probation had a history with one of the exec members, and that history swayed opinions.
I have seen a member almost be recommended for termination for offenses that are nowhere near termination level offenses. Had the chapter not had an advisor, they would have recommended her for termination, because it was hard for them to step back and see the big picture. Also, in that case, there were some very strong personalities who voiced in favor of termination, and everyone else was basically going along with it because they didn't want to fight over it. The others didn't really agree, but didn't want to argue.
There are a lot of chapters out there without advisory support. It's hard for some of us to remember that at times. In those chapters without advisory support, I firmly believe that the "girl drama" issues get disproportionate attention in the disciplinary process.
There is a reason our organizations require final oversight from a national council. I believe those women take termination very seriously, and I believe they will read a letter that is sincere.
That being said, OP, I wholly agree with the other advice you have been given about not laying blame on anyone but yourself. Own up to whatever it is that you have done. Acknowledge the changes you have made. Throwing shade on the chapter makes you look like the source of the drama. Ain't nobody got time for that.  |
thank you for this post. it's good to know that i'm not the only one in the world who's had this struggle, lol.
those first stories sounded very similar to mine, but unfortunately there wasn't an advisor in my case.
i feel like the reason i'm making such a fuss about this and having a hard time accepting accusations and consequences is mostly because of that.
had all the proceedings of my discipline followed procedure properly, been supervised by an expert/unbiased party like an advisor, and i had been explained what the issues were with valid evidence and adequate detail, it'd still suck to be in trouble, but i'd accept it because i felt like i deserved it since the policies were followed and i got punished, fair and square.
i guess its too hard for me to swallow my pride and be like "yup i was guilty of everything, totally responsible, they're totally right" when i know for a fact my case was misrepresented and included accusations of things i didn't do.
if i was guilty of something, i'd take the blame. but when you don't agree your guilty, it's hard not to fight back
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