Well later that night, my stomach was in knots and all I could think about was how I made the wrong decision and I should have suicided.
Then at around 1 in the morning, I get a call from my sister telling me I got a bid from ADPi. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. I told her to stop kidding because my sister is a jokester, but she was being completely serious and told me that I was in the top 25 of the bid list and she talked to my friends in USC and I was on their first bid list, but not that high, so unless I suicided, I wouldn't have been in USC.
I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was so shocked, hurt and confused. I talked to my Rho Gamma and she told me I was under no obligation to go to bid day if I didn't want to and if I still had just one little ounce of wonder if I got in USC to go to bid day breakfast, but after talking to my sister. I knew it wasn't a joke even though I hoped and prayed it was.
I went to the bid day brunch and we waited and waited to see what bid we got or if we're sticking to the theme, get their college acceptance. At the end when our Rho Gamma passed us our envelopes, I could see through and it said Rutgers. So ironically recruitment was like my actual college application process and I didn't get into USC.
I started crying and I cried even harder when my friends were jumping next to me screaming because they all got their number ones and everyone ran out of the room to run outside to their new sisters and I just cried and then left. The worst part in the world was that USC and Rutgers are next door neighbors and just feet from each other, so I had to see everybody in USC screaming and embracing their new members and I had to walk with my tail between my legs to Rutgers.
It's still even hard to this day.
It's been three weeks since recruitment ended and I talked to my big and just dropped today. The straw that broke the camels back was when I went to the chapter and
one of the older members said:
"We know you really liked USC, but we put you in the top 10, so we got to have you instead of them." They said those exact words and that was the end for me.
I talked to the director of Greek Life at my school and explained what happened at Rutgers and what went on and she told me I actually wasn't the first person that this happened to and there are other girls that complained of this happening at Rutgers.
I actually talked to 2 other girls in my pledge class that were legacies and had the same exact thing happen to them.
I feel so disappointed with what happened and I honestly feel robbed of a good sorority recruitment experience. I wish I could make it a happy ending and I wish I could have stuck it out, but I couldn't make myself be a part of something that just wasn't for me.
It hurts telling this story and it hurts to have to see all of my friends in my hall go to swaps, get ready for chapter and have retreats and get excited for homecoming and getting initiated. But I stand by my decision, even if it hurts me.
Hybrid Mode
