I suicided

[PinkSkyAtNight]

Originally Posted by USCmtg

I suicided because I absolutely did not want to be in the other sorority. The other one made me think that I was definitley getting a bid by what they said. However I got dropped today. I know that I can't get a snap bid because I suicided but what's the likelihood of me getting a bid during COB?

ALS - At no point in the poster's original thread does she ask for your sympathy, pity or understanding. She states facts and asks a question. Yet, for some you feel compelled to shame her about her decision.

[als463]

Originally Posted by PinkSkyAtNight

ALS - At no point in the poster's original thread does she ask for your sympathy, pity or understanding. She states facts and asks a question. Yet, for some you feel compelled to shame her about her decision.

You may as well just get used to it. That is how I feel and I won't apologize for my feelings. Every single time a woman comes on here to say she is angry she got the bottom chapter, or she suicided, or dropped out because the remaining choices were less than desirable then I'm going to say the same thing. I don't care if she asks for my pity or my understanding. If anything, I feel bad for the chapters that may struggle with membership because some girls let tent talk get to them. I'm working for a campus where some of the most amazing women I know are from some of those less than desirable chapters. In fact, one of the women from one of those chapters I speak of is someone I would be more than proud to call my sister. I don't feel sorry for these women who make the choices that they do regarding my NPC sisters and I refuse to pretend to.

[PinkSkyAtNight]

Originally Posted by als463

You may as well just get used to it. That is how I feel and I won't apologize for my feelings. Every single time a woman comes on here to say she is angry she got the bottom chapter, or she suicided, or dropped out because the remaining choices were less than desirable then I'm going to say the same thing. I don't care if she asks for my pity or my understanding. If anything, I feel bad for the chapters that may struggle with membership because some girls let tent talk get to them. I'm working for a campus where some of the most amazing women I know are from some of those less than desirable chapters. In fact, one of the women from one of those chapters I speak of is someone I would be more than proud to call my sister. I don't feel sorry for these women who make the choices that they do regarding my NPC sisters and I refuse to pretend to.

Yeah, that's great. But the original poster didn't insult or put down or even insinuate that the other chapter she didn't list wasn't "top tier". She didn't express anger or sadness. She did nothing of the sort, but you assumed that she was doing that by not listing them. She just asked a question and you pounced and made all kinds of assumptions.

Trust me, the chapters that don't have perfect return rates don't need advisers or university employees to defend their honor if it means putting down a woman who still might want to participate in COB. It makes you and them look defensive and adds to the stigma.

It is kind of like when someone breaks up with you and does it without insulting you, if you get mad, angry, defensive, stalkerish.... rarely does it make that person want to reconsider the relationship. Rather, it only confirms the suspicions they had all along that it wasn't a good match.

[als463]

Originally Posted by PinkSkyAtNight

Yeah, that's great. But the original poster didn't insult or put down or even insinuate that the other chapter she didn't list wasn't "top tier". She didn't express anger or sadness. She did nothing of the sort, but you assumed that she was was doing that by not listing them. She just asked a question and you pounced and made all kinds of assumptions.

Trust me, the chapters that don't have perfect return rates don't need advisers or university employees to defend their honor if it means putting down a woman who still might want to participate in COB. It makes you and them look defensive and adds to the stigma.

It is kind of like when someone breaks up with you and does it without insulting you, if you get mad, angry, defensive, stalkerish.... rarely does it make that person want to reconsider the relationship. Rather, it only confirms the suspicions they had all along that it wasn't a good match.

You do realize that she may not have the option to COB at such a large SEC school where even the struggling chapters aren't exactly struggling, right? What other great reasons would someone have for choosing to suicide at a school where Greek life is huge? Please tell me.

[PinkSkyAtNight]

Originally Posted by als463

You do realize that she may not have the option to COB at such a large SEC school where even the struggling chapters aren't exactly struggling, right? What other great reasons would someone have for choosing to suicide at a school where Greek life is huge? Please tell me.

Not sure, but under no circumstance is someone obligated to tell you any reason for why they listed chapters the way they did.

If someone doesn't insult or degrade anyone, they should be free to ask a question without a university employee/adviser jumping all over them. The simple act of SIP'ing is not an insult. If she had said "I didn't want that chapter because ALL of them are (insert insult)", then by all means would you be justified in defending your position. But she didn't do that, and not everyone who comes here to ask questions does.

[als463]

Originally Posted by PinkSkyAtNight

Not sure, but under no circumstance is someone obligated to tell you any reason for why they listed chapters the way they did.

If someone doesn't insult or degrade anyone, they should be free to ask a question without a university employee/adviser jumping all over them. The simple act of SIP'ing is not an insult. If she had said "I didn't want that chapter because ALL of them are (insert insult)", then by all means would you be justified in defending your position. But she didn't do that, and not everyone who comes here to ask questions does.

You don't think it is insulting to SIP because someone would rather receive no bid than a bid from a particular chapter? Okay. Then I guess we can agree to disagree. Telling someone that having a hard time finding a friend in a sea of 300+ women is unlikely and possibly due to their own attitude is hardly insulting them. It's being honest. I stand behind that statement and I won't apologize. It's a harsh reality. Depending upon her class standing and the fact that even struggling chapters don't necessarily struggle that much to find women to join them, she may have just missed the boat to become Greek. That's a reality.

[PinkSkyAtNight]

Originally Posted by als463

You don't think it is insulting to SIP because someone would rather receive no bid than a bid from a particular chapter? Okay. Then I guess we can agree to disagree. Telling someone that having a hard time finding a friend in a sea of 300+ women is unlikely and possibly due to their own attitude is hardly insulting them. It's being honest. I stand behind that statement and I won't apologize. It's a harsh reality. Depending upon her class standing and the fact that even struggling chapters don't necessarily struggle that much to find women to join them, she may have just missed the boat to become Greek. That's a reality.

I think SIP is insulting in SOME situations, but not all. And we don't know the backstory, she wasn't providing it and wasn't obligated to in any way. So no, I don't find it insulting without knowing more details. You are free to make any judgements you like, but others of us will come to their defense because we are seasoned enough to know that sometimes there are situations where SIP could be understandable. And again, her post wasn't a personal pity party unlike other posters, so your response is really unwarranted and a major turnoff.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by als463

You don't think it is insulting to SIP because someone would rather receive no bid than a bid from a particular chapter? Okay. Then I guess we can agree to disagree. Telling someone that having a hard time finding a friend in a sea of 300+ women is unlikely and possibly due to their own attitude is hardly insulting them. It's being honest. I stand behind that statement and I won't apologize. It's a harsh reality. Depending upon her class standing and the fact that even struggling chapters don't necessarily struggle that much to find women to join them, she may have just missed the boat to become Greek. That's a reality.

Perhaps "a friend" is not what she's looking for in sorority membership. Perhaps six friends is not what she's looking for, and perhaps nothing about the symbols, philanthropy, or collective vibe spoke to her. That's HER choice.

So, a simple "Your chances of a bid through COB are probably slim, but you can't know unless you sign up." might have been appropriate.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by als463

You do realize that she may not have the option to COB at such a large SEC school where even the struggling chapters aren't exactly struggling, right? What other great reasons would someone have for choosing to suicide at a school where Greek life is huge? Please tell me.

I have known young ladies who would really be scraping together every dime and incurring debt to go Greek. I think that is a compelling reason to ISP. Why go into debt when you aren't feeling it? Going through recruitment doesn't establish a commitment to accept a bid.

[als463]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

I have known young ladies who would really be scraping together every dime and incurring debt to go Greek. I think that is a compelling reason to ISP. Why go into debt when you aren't feeling it? Going through recruitment doesn't establish a commitment to accept a bid.

^This is a reason I can get behind choosing not to go Greek. There aren't too many other reasons I can think of but, irishpipes generally has something interesting to share. Thank you, irishpipes.

[navane]

I went to a recruitment party where the sorority members I was grouped with went on and on about how drunk they like to get. They tried to sell me on the sorority by telling me about how they charter a bus to Mexico every year and get completely blitzed on the drive down. I get that college kids like to drink; but, the conversation was too over the top for me and their discussions about drinking until throwing up went outside the bounds of good taste for a recruitment event. I might have ISP'd in that situation.

Also, some members here have previously expressed concern over chapters that might be too religious for their tastes. If a girl is atheist and she goes to pref at a chapter where they gush about weekly Bible studies that "everyone" attends and how the chapter goes to church together, she might be tempted to ISP for another chapter.

Sometimes a girl chooses to ISP for reasons that can be explained.