Jeers

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by mzdad48

My young adult just finished with rush and got a bid that was in her top 3. Her initial feelings were of joy and satisfaction although it was not her first choice. Immediately after the bid process, she and the other New Members got together for photos with the existing members and officers.
During the photos, several of the existing members started blurting out alcohol references and epithets setting an overall tone that quickly disturbed my daughter. It became very apparent to her that the sorority was bad news. This is not to say all the young ladies in this sorority were at fault and participated.
While we are under no false impressions about college age students drinking, to set a tone almost immediately after the bid from the chapter showed great irresponsibility and immaturity. We consider ourselves lucky that the truth about the characters of this sorority overall came to the forefront once the vail dropped.
The unfortunate part is that my daughter has to go through the anguish of dropping the bid basically right when school starts. What a great way to start college.
If you are from a sorority or fraternity, don't think that your actions and words will not ultimately hurt your reputations.

QFP.

ETA: Aw, DBB just beat me to it!

[KDCat]

This is an excellent time for your daughter to learn tolerance. Every sorority has members who drink and every sorority has members who don't drink. Your daughter will not be required to drink to fit in and will find many other women who don't drink.

Many active members are juniors and seniors who are over the age of 21; it's legal for them to drink. Every sorority has tight rules over what is acceptable behavior around alcohol and what isn't acceptable behavior, for both women under 21 and women over 21.

Same thing with swearing. Some adults swear. Some adults swear a lot. Get over it. That has a lot to do with self-presentation and not much to do with character. Some research suggests that people who swear are actually more honest than those who don't.

I think you are doing your daughter a disservice by encouraging her to drop immediately. She should go through the new member period and see the whole chapter for an extended period before making the kind of judgments you are encouraging her to make.