Indiana University 2014 Recruitment

[cinder1965]

Originally Posted by NewToGreekLife

My daughter also just participated in sorority recruitment at IU and I wished I had read this forum a few weeks ago so that she and I were better prepared. She is a pretty and popular girl so I never really anticipated her not getting into a sorority and perhaps she would have except right or wrong, she dropped out of recruitment on Preference day as she was not sure she wanted to join any of the 3 houses she was invited back to. None of them had been on her original list of houses she was interested in and she said she just couldn't see herself living there. One of her best friends did the same. Two other friends went through Preference day and received no bids. Most of her friends that received bids were legacies, were from out of state or were both. She also knew a girl who did not go to IU last semester as she did not have the grades to get in but was able to transfer in this semester and got into the house her best friend is in. I do feel a big part of IU rush is connections and I do agree that they need to change the antiquated bed quota policy and open up more opportunities for girls who would like to participate but do not have as many connections. I am glad they are opening new sororities but for most, the house is important so until these chapters have houses, they will not be an alternative for some girls. My daughter received one of these houses on Preference day but the other 2 were housed chapters just not ones that she had enough interest in to want to live there for the next 3 years.

I am very sorry your daughter was disappointed, however, she will get little sympathy from me and likely many others on GC since she did not maximize her options. She was invited to three pref parties and didn't attend any of them? That is really unfortunate because had she given them another chance maybe she would have found something more. Sort of how you feel if the sororities on her "list" would have given her another chance they would have found something more and offered her a bid. Secondly, there were PNMs who would have jumped at the chance to attend 3 pref parties.

Frankly, I am more concerned about the girls who took recruitment to the end, maximized their options and did not get a bid. THAT is heartbreaking. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't believe your daughter's situation is heartbreaking.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by cinder1965

I am very sorry your daughter was disappointed, however, she will get little sympathy from me and likely many others on GC since she did not maximize her options. She was invited to three pref parties and didn't attend any of them? That is really unfortunate because had she given them another chance maybe she would have found something more. Sort of how you feel if the sororities on her "list" would have given her another chance they would have found something more and offered her a bid. Secondly, there were PNMs who would have jumped at the chance to attend 3 pref parties.

Frankly, I am more concerned about the girls who took recruitment to the end, maximized their options and did not get a bid. THAT is heartbreaking. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't believe your daughter's situation is heartbreaking.

I agree. Well said.

[suzy88]

Originally Posted by cinder1965

I am very sorry your daughter was disappointed, however, she will get little sympathy from me and likely many others on GC since she did not maximize her options. She was invited to three pref parties and didn't attend any of them? That is really unfortunate because had she given them another chance maybe she would have found something more. Sort of how you feel if the sororities on her "list" would have given her another chance they would have found something more and offered her a bid. Secondly, there were PNMs who would have jumped at the chance to attend 3 pref parties.

Frankly, I am more concerned about the girls who took recruitment to the end, maximized their options and did not get a bid. THAT is heartbreaking. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't believe your daughter's situation is heartbreaking.

I understand what you are saying, it is a common problem that women don't maximize their options. This is very easy for you to point out, because you have been around for a while and understand that you need to maximize your options to win at this game. However, these 18 year old women don't understand this. You are too hard on them. Please have some compassion. They don't know the game as well as you do.

[als463]

Originally Posted by suzy88

I understand what you are saying, it is a common problem that women don't maximize their options. This is very easy for you to point out, because you have been around for a while and understand that you need to maximize your options to win at this game. However, these 18 year old women don't understand this. You are too hard on them. Please have some compassion. They don't know the game as well as you do.

So, first I agree with cinder and other posters that this was not an unfortunate situation. This young woman was sitting in a spot that another girl could have been in and she chose not to attend the parties. That sounds incredibly selfish. I feel no sympathy for her. Second, I want to point out your statement about being "18" and not knowing the game as you claim these women don't understand. You do realize you can join the military at 17 with a parent's signature--right? als463, how is that relevant? Well, if we have young men and women fighting for our country at an age we have all decided is adult enough to make decisions regarding life or death, I'm not going to sit here and boo-hoo because Suzy Snowflake decided not to maximize her options and now she has no sorority to call home. Maybe she should be a little less picky at a place where sorority recruitment sounds like a modern day Hunger Games.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by als463

Maybe she should be a little less picky at a place where sorority recruitment sounds like a modern day Hunger Games.

I think this has to be BEST quote of this endless thread

I don't ever want to hear Ole Miss rush called "brutal" after all of THIS!

[suzy88]

[QUOTE=als463;2257820]So, first I agree with cinder and other posters that this was not an unfortunate situation. This young woman was sitting in a spot that another girl could have been in and she chose not to attend the parties. That sounds incredibly selfish. I feel no sympathy for her. Second, I want to point out your statement about being "18" and not knowing the game as you claim these women don't understand. You do realize you can join the military at 17 with a parent's signature--right? als463, how is that relevant? Well, if we have young men and women fighting for our country at an age we have all decided is adult enough to make decisions regarding life or death, I'm not going to sit here and boo-hoo because Suzy Snowflake decided not to maximize her options and now she has no sorority to call home. Maybe she should be a little less picky at a place where sorority recruitment sounds like a modern day Hunger Games.[/QUO

Don't really see any connection between military service and sororities.
My only point is 18 year olds make foolish decisions all the time. Not maximizing your options is as foolish as you can get in this recruitment, I agree. You can still have empathy for someone even though they chose badly. You can tell an 18 year over and over that she should go with any sorority that accepts her and she will find friends, but if she perceives that is not "cool" with her peers, she is not going to do it. I have empathy for them because they just don't have the life experience and maturity to make a good decision.

[carnation]

IU being a big university, I'm betting that they have several majors that are available at other state universities. If my daughters had always dreamed of a college life that included Greek life but had been unfairly cut and their majors were just as good at another comparable school and they wanted to transfer--we would be helping them out the door. (For those who don't know, seven of my daughters have pledged.)

Frequently on GC, I see women claim that even without Greek life, you can have a fabulous experience at ABC University. I have seen this scenario replayed many times in the last 14 years, as you can guess, when women were cut from recruitment. The ones who didn't try again or stopped after 2 tries often joined other big-deal clubs like cheerleading or football recruiters.

Not a one of them was pleased with her total college experience. *Every single one* whom I know has told us that she yearned to be Greek the whole 4-5 years and wishes she has transferred.

I realize that some people will now get on here and talk about the fabulous experience you can have without being Greek. Sure, for some people. But if most of your family and friends are Greek, if you've always dreamed about it, if you know you'll always wish you could've pledged, and you can get just as good an education elsewhere...go!

[Iu mom]

Originally Posted by carnation

IU being a big university, I'm betting that they have several majors that are available at other state universities. If my daughters had always dreamed of a college life that included Greek life but had been unfairly cut and their majors were just as good at another comparable school and they wanted to transfer--we would be helping them out the door. (For those who don't know, seven of my daughters have pledged.)

Frequently on GC, I see women claim that even without Greek life, you can have a fabulous experience at ABC University. I have seen this scenario replayed many times in the last 14 years, as you can guess, when women were cut from recruitment. The ones who didn't try again or stopped after 2 tries often joined other big-deal clubs like cheerleading or football recruiters.

Not a one of them was pleased with her total college experience. *Every single one* whom I know has told us that she yearned to be Greek the whole 4-5 years and wishes she has transferred.

I realize that some people will now get on here and talk about the fabulous experience you can have without being Greek. Sure, for some people. But if most of your family and friends are Greek, if you've always dreamed about it, if you know you'll always wish you could've pledged, and you can get just as good an education elsewhere...go!

Well said carnation our whole family is Greek and IU WAS the only university with the exact program my daughter wanted- a science (kinesiology) degree WITH dance- it's VERY VERY difficult to be admitted to this program with its audition admission process as well as having to get into IU at the same time- as an IU-of-stater we pay and it's fine because if what IU offers - that being said from a family if Greeks and many very active alum she WANTS to be greek AT IU and that won't be satisfied by a club membership - so we are still hoping for a COB

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by Iu mom

Well said carnation our whole family is Greek and IU WAS the only university with the exact program my daughter wanted- a science (kinesiology) degree WITH dance- it's VERY VERY difficult to be admitted to this program with its audition admission process as well as having to get into IU at the same time- as an IU-of-stater we pay and it's fine because if what IU offers - that being said from a family if Greeks and many very active alum she WANTS to be greek AT IU and that won't be satisfied by a club membership - so we are still hoping for a COB

Ummm - just off the top of my head - Bowling Green State and Texas A&M both offer such a program - combined kinesiology and dance major

[pinkmama]

Originally Posted by Iu mom

Well said carnation our whole family is Greek and IU WAS the only university with the exact program my daughter wanted- a science (kinesiology) degree WITH dance- it's VERY VERY difficult to be admitted to this program with its audition admission process as well as having to get into IU at the same time- as an IU-of-stater we pay and it's fine because if what IU offers - that being said from a family if Greeks and many very active alum she WANTS to be greek AT IU and that won't be satisfied by a club membership - so we are still hoping for a COB

COB is more than likely all done with now. Most houses are having their first chapter meetings tomorrow/Monday and more than likely their first pledge type ceremony this weekend. They usually have everyone they need by then and won't add after the fact. If they do informal recruitment then that becomes a seperate pledge class typically and they have their own ceremonies and their own iniataion.

[cinder1965]

[QUOTE=suzy88;2257845]

Originally Posted by als463

So, first I agree with cinder and other posters that this was not an unfortunate situation. This young woman was sitting in a spot that another girl could have been in and she chose not to attend the parties. That sounds incredibly selfish. I feel no sympathy for her. Second, I want to point out your statement about being "18" and not knowing the game as you claim these women don't understand. You do realize you can join the military at 17 with a parent's signature--right? als463, how is that relevant? Well, if we have young men and women fighting for our country at an age we have all decided is adult enough to make decisions regarding life or death, I'm not going to sit here and boo-hoo because Suzy Snowflake decided not to maximize her options and now she has no sorority to call home. Maybe she should be a little less picky at a place where sorority recruitment sounds like a modern day Hunger Games.[/QUO

Don't really see any connection between military service and sororities.
My only point is 18 year olds make foolish decisions all the time. Not maximizing your options is as foolish as you can get in this recruitment, I agree. You can still have empathy for someone even though they chose badly. You can tell an 18 year over and over that she should go with any sorority that accepts her and she will find friends, but if she perceives that is not "cool" with her peers, she is not going to do it. I have empathy for them because they just don't have the life experience and maturity to make a good decision.

Let me be clear, I do empathize with them, really I do. I am pointing out this is not a heartbreaking situation, IMO. My own step daughter went through IU rush last year, went to three parties and suicided to one. She got a bid, very lucky for her. Believe me, I told her not to do it and I also told her that if that was her choice, she needs to be ok with the outcome if it didn't work out.

[cinder1965]

Originally Posted by suzy88

I understand what you are saying, it is a common problem that women don't maximize their options. This is very easy for you to point out, because you have been around for a while and understand that you need to maximize your options to win at this game. However, these 18 year old women don't understand this. You are too hard on them. Please have some compassion. They don't know the game as well as you do.

I will respectfully disagree, that is why they have Rho Gams and I am quite sure this was explained to them repeatedly.

[Iu mom]

Originally Posted by cinder1965

I am very sorry your daughter was disappointed, however, she will get little sympathy from me and likely many others on GC since she did not maximize her options. She was invited to three pref parties and didn't attend any of them? That is really unfortunate because had she given them another chance maybe she would have found something more. Sort of how you feel if the sororities on her "list" would have given her another chance they would have found something more and offered her a bid. Secondly, there were PNMs who would have jumped at the chance to attend 3 pref parties.

Frankly, I am more concerned about the girls who took recruitment to the end, maximized their options and did not get a bid. THAT is heartbreaking. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't believe your daughter's situation is heartbreaking.

My daughter maximized til the bitter end, juggled rush with being in a show for the university, headed back to school with concerns about a sick relative at home, was a legacy and is registered for informal - she is devastated as all friends got bids and now she is watching girls get COB. She is the total package but can be shy sometimes when you first meet her- which having less parties was definitely a down fall for her had she had more rounds that would have 100% dissipated - she told me that she won't lose faith she wants to be greek. If not now next year even with the hurt. She is one if the most generous and dedicated people I know. She has turned down modeling jobs, professional dance options and other universities because IU offered her everything she wanted in a college experience .... On paper... But this bid less time for her has hurt so much but she prays daily she's offered a cob option. Things happen for a reason is my mantra but this is sad state events for her. She is maturely keeping her head up and hoping.

[cinder1965]

Originally Posted by Iu mom

My daughter maximized til the bitter end, juggled rush with being in a show for the university, headed back to school with concerns about a sick relative at home, was a legacy and is registered for informal - she is devastated as all friends got bids and now she is watching girls get COB. She is the total package but can be shy sometimes when you first meet her- which having less parties was definitely a down fall for her had she had more rounds that would have 100% dissipated - she told me that she won't lose faith she wants to be greek. If not now next year even with the hurt. She is one if the most generous and dedicated people I know. She has turned down modeling jobs, professional dance options and other universities because IU offered her everything she wanted in a college experience .... On paper... But this bid less time for her has hurt so much but she prays daily she's offered a cob option. Things happen for a reason is my mantra but this is sad state events for her. She is maturely keeping her head up and hoping.

THIS is what I am talking about being a heartbreaking situation. Truly it is.